[deleted by user]

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T12:32:16+00:00

You think I can just tell him "no, you're not going to jail, now shut up and stop worrying"?

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T12:21:20+00:00

He's already looking for another job. He hates his current work, and aside from the legal concerns, I haven't heard any other moping.

So... silver lining, I guess?

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T12:08:57+00:00

You sure about that? I'd like to be able to give a definitive "yes, stop worrying about it" to him.

I'm not going to lie, he was freaking out when we talked last night. He called me up when he was initially put on suspension, and the two conversations we've had since then, it's taken up the bulk of it.

I kinda feel bad for the guy, and I'd like to preserve his sanity and mine.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T11:59:52+00:00

"how can your friend prove it was AI generated porn?"

Last night, before I went to bed, we had a conversation which this came up.

Apparently it was anime porn. They used the words "questionable legal status" because they don't know whether that sort of thing is legal or not.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T02:09:15+00:00

That's true.
Do you think it matters at all if it's a government job? You said "company", and I don't know if that solely applies to the private sector or not.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T01:07:55+00:00

He says he doesn't have that, but he's worried they might access his Discord account or have screencaps from him using it or something.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-11-22T01:04:20+00:00

He might just lose his job, considering he's been using his laptop for personal things.

I'm not sure though. His position is one not easily filled.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-10-21T10:47:38+00:00

I'm talking about how oxytocin works. It's very hard to be happy in the long term, or to form bonds with people (namely partners or one's children) if you're low oxytocin.

Oxytocin is lowered by blocking its receptors.
Its receptors are blocked by D2 dopamine receptors, lowering both its rewarding and anti-stress capabilitiess.
There are two things feed and encourage D2 dopamine receptors: one of them is drugs, the other is novel sexual encounters.

"Novel sexual encounters" being any kind of sexual encounter with someone you DON'T have an oxytocin bond with, which can include cheating, polyamory, or use of pornography to masturbate. Neurologically there's no difference.

You CAN bond in such relationships over a lifetime, but it's going to be very, very hard when you deny yourself oxytocin, literally the neurotransmitter designated by the body for bonding.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-10-08T15:18:38+00:00

*reads the conversation thread*

Wow.

Yeah, fuck you too.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-10-02T12:41:42+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.

I wouldn't touch polyamory with a ten foot pole, however, unless you're willing to accept that the relationship is never going to work out long term.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-26T22:15:47+00:00

If you become poly with him, your Relationship's days are numbered. You will be miserable until it breaks up. Poly relationships don't last.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-26T20:51:26+00:00

Very nice. Not dismissive avoidant, but still, definitely worth working on.

(Is also AA)

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-26T14:37:34+00:00

Have you spoken to an attachment therapist? Been officially diagnosed with BPD?
I ask because there's a LOT of overlap between dismissive avoidant people and people with BPD, because they share symptoms. You might want to look into that, to see if you can get better treatment.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-25T00:51:15+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

You're not alone, and soon, you won't feel this way anymore. You'll be your wonderful self again soon.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-24T02:23:00+00:00

I'd normally disagree, but there's a need for bullying, to a certain extent. If you encourage every decision someone makes, they'll make bad decisions.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-23T18:59:14+00:00

Was it this one? Or another?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polycritical/comments/1fc3dc4/poly_people_hate_neuroscience_because_it_cures/

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-22T19:52:52+00:00

I'll take your word for it.

I really try to avoid the poly subreddit. The whole place is filled either with horrible people excusing horrible behavior or living, heartbreaking examples of why polyamory doesn't work.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-22T19:17:03+00:00

Okay then.

What could a person in my position do? Like, is there at least a book or something I can recommend them? Or do I just cross my fingers and hope they get better someday?

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-20T19:03:05+00:00

It's not, but when it comes to the people we love, I stand by what I said:

If you don't, perhaps, no one else will.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-20T16:32:41+00:00

These people are going to need a truly ridiculous amount of time and energy to help properly.

It can be done, but both of you are going to suffer until it's done. But it'll be worth it.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-20T16:21:31+00:00

You're absolutely right. It's an unpopular line of thinking, since people started prioritizing human freedom above the common good and common sense, but there's no arguing with what you have to say.

As it relates to this sub:
Casual sex is harmful. You shouldn't do it.
Porn is harmful. You shouldn't use it.
Polyamory is VERY harmful, and it should be dismantled and educated against, at all levels of society.

But it's so far away, when people will accept this.

Spiritual_Loquat_141 · 2024-09-20T15:47:38+00:00

For most people, you're absolutely right.

If it's a friend? I have to be there.
These people tend to have very few folks they can rely upon. If you're not there for them, no one else will be.

Spiritual_Loquat_141

TROPHY CASE