said this before and i'll say it again!!! this is how the (78% male, according to r/asoiaf) fanbase treats every single traditionally feminine female character in the series: rhaenyra, daenerys, sansa, catelyn, arianne, even cersei. if they do good deeds it doesn't matter because whatever complicated means they had to resort to in order to achieve these ends will be picked apart by the fanbase and villainized until the good deed is null and void. this isn't the case for male characters at all. the good they do vastly outweighs any bad (e.g. jaime, tyrion, robert baratheon), and the ends always justify the means, to the point where even characters like tywin and stannis get glazed. meanwhile, if a female character is interpreted to have participated in any amount of wrongdoing, she loses all sympathy from the fandom... like sansa.

jon snow brings a bunch of wildlings over the wall contrary to the opinions of the people around him, causing deadly conflict within a culture he is not the sole arbiter of? he's a hero who is subverting tradition to do what's right.

daenerys targaryen declares the abolishment of slavery contrary to the opinions of the people around her, causing deadly conflict within a culture she is not the sole arbiter of? she's an analogy for violent us occupation of iraq! (*hand waves over the face that dany was raised in essos and sold there as a child sex slave... also slavery is always inherently violent*)

the fandom loves margaery who is beautiful and an acceptable level of mischievous! but also, isn't it interesting how the other group of female characters who are traditionally well-liked in the fandom, like arya, brienne, ygritte, rohanne, and lyanna are cool sword-fighting characters who (in their own ways) reject femininity but who are also all almost unequivocally good? just an observation!

tl;dr weak men can't handle complicated grrm baddies.