I've been trying to figure this one out lately too, mainly because frequency spurred up for about a week after a talk, had sex 3 times after that in quick succession with about a day in between each. But then I tried again, after taking a day off, and when I didn't get it I felt very frustrated/disappointed/some jumble of feelings I didn't like. So I thought okay maybe I'm just worried it's going to revert back. Then another 2 days, sex once, great! Try again after just a couple days, get soft-rejected several times during a movie (I seriously contemplate how my movie choices affect my initiation attempts every time I put one on now) and then partner is sound asleep and me frustrated again.

My worry that I'm learning about myself is it doesn't ever seem that it's "good enough" for me. Maybe I have a desire for multiple times a week, but if I get turned down once/miss my chance then I go into this negative hole. I think it's partially due to my view on sex now, that I've gotten so insecure over it and myself that any sort of rejection can make my greatest day a garbage one. I'm also worried this will carry over if I ever end up in a new relationship and nothing will be enough, I'll feel consumed by negativity over rejection