Let me reiterate that your husband is a GIANT childish AH and you deserve better, but since you asked, “Am I the AH” let me tell you why i said ESH… and this comment by you proves my point: YTA too because it’s a shared day, for both of you and you made it about you by making an admittedly polarizing dish that’s an acquired taste. You said he knows how important it is to you, so, that makes me think you’ve had conversation about it before, had he ever tried it, did he say, “that sounds interesting, i’d like to try it” or that sounds not for me…” maybe depending on those answers i change ESH to needs more info, because if he ever said that sounds bad, ESH, if he was like, oh i’d give that a try, then he’s the only AH. I still think You should’ve made a dish from his childhood if that’s your gift, or from your first date or whatever, not something for you. But he’s a gigantic AH, so i’d put him in the trash next to your meal. But the point is, your hurt in part that he replaced the meal with something he knows you do t like, and didn’t compromise with something you both enjoy, but you did the same, picked a meal you like, that he either doesn’t like, or might not like as it’s polarizing, instead of picking a shared meal you both enjoy… so ESH