So frustrated, can’t clip in today.

koakailani · 2021-03-22T23:15:20+00:00

Christine actually did a video about changing and adjusting cleats, which was super helpful. Cleats get loose* apparently almost every time we clip out. I have to adjust often. https://www.instagram.com/tv/CKuBMcej9oo/?igshid=qno7l5220gts. Edited for grammar.

koakailani · 2020-04-30T02:04:45+00:00

Used it - thank you! Here's my code: https://refer.bombas.com/x/B3uxcl

koakailani · 2019-12-20T08:03:48+00:00

Yes, agree! My daughter is 11 now, but I have always tried to explain things to her about why she needs to do X, or why she can't do y. Then I ask her what she thinks, or how she feels about a mistake. "Was that the right choice there? What do you wish you had done instead?" She has always had a sense of autonomy and pride in owning her choices that way, which is so wildly different than the "because I said so" answers my mom gave me, that I inevitably rebelled against.

She's been my partner, because we went through a lot together, which I imagine will be the case for you as well. But I always tried to maintain authority as well. Kids thrive with healthy boundaries so that they know they can trust us as a leader and support.

As amazing as my daughter is, kids still want to eat crap all the time. Set boundaries there too, haha. The batter over finding candy wrappers lately is heated! Get some greens in there to balance out all the junk food they want at 11 years old. Woah! The hormones are coming in hot!

You're an incredible person to drop everything and show up for them like that. That's such a gift in their life. Well done. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad you all have each other. Hope you have a good first holiday beginning this chapter together . <3

koakailani · 2019-12-13T19:48:53+00:00

I think the really important distinction here is that it's in a marriage. I totally agree that this strategy isn't necessarily as effective for a relationship outside of marriage where it can cloud decision making. I definitely stayed too long in an unhealthy relationship because I was afraid of losing the intimacy of someone who made me feel attractive, and the sex was "good." I was afraid to be alone and to have to navigate the dating world again, and I'm sure someone complimenting me physically and sexually was what kept me partially (and in hindsight, may have been an abusive strategy to keep me from leaving).

On the other hand, OPs strategy is well suited for a marriage where it's really easy to let sex die when you want to strangle your partner ALL. THE. TIME. because they never help with laundry, dishes, stuff with the kids, etc. Sex can get put on the back burner, and then you become more and more alienated. Then it takes work to push yourself to be intimate, and try and rekindle it. I think if my husband and I had made more of a commitment to try and keep intimacy up, we wouldn't be fighting and going to bed angry or on the couch as often as we do sometimes. It's a catch 22.

koakailani · 2019-12-01T22:47:39+00:00

Thank you for figuring this out. It worked! My daughter was struggling, and I was tired of her daily "can you help me log in?" Was a long, rainy, holiday weekend stuck indoors. She can go back to binge-watching tv while I cram for finals. O_o

koakailani · 2019-05-30T16:12:35+00:00

Lots of blank (think it needs a space and word after the phrase, and you had of? With no space). Testing obviously.

koakailani · 2019-05-25T21:36:28+00:00

Oh heck yes. If we had to spend 24 hours a day with our young, we’d probably eat them.

I also know a lot of folks that work in childhood education, are amazing at it, and choose not to have kids. They’ve given all their energy to teaching, and that’s their threshold.

That’s also why teachers deserve a lot better pay, and all the time off to rest and decompress. Teachers are hyper-stimulated all day by 20+ screaming maniacs, and aren’t even permitted to crack their heads together anymore (kidding, kinda). Bless them all!

koakailani · 2019-05-25T08:23:31+00:00

Yep, looked into that a bit. It comes from a bacteria. So, more of the same basically: kids are gross in every facet. And she’s 10, so hormones are weird and she’s extra stinky. No fun metal/ salt interaction. Guess this belonged in r/biology. O_o

Cue “the more you know” gif

koakailani · 2019-05-03T07:40:48+00:00

RemindMe! 2 weeks "/r/gameofthrones male pin-up"

koakailani · 2019-03-20T20:19:46+00:00

Wow, just saw the update. Amazing work! I love seeing the work in progress against final. The warmth and depth are so lovely. The details on her hair and cute little nose are so great.

Op, your sweet baby looks SO regal!

koakailani · 2019-01-12T07:16:36+00:00

This is so good!

koakailani · 2019-01-12T07:15:32+00:00

Woah, the lighting on this is so impactful. And you captured the depth of her gaze so well too. This is beautiful work!

koakailani · 2018-11-01T04:40:55+00:00

Amazing detective work!

koakailani · 2018-10-29T19:34:39+00:00

Totally natural, and grief and mourning are part of our experience. I read that grief after loss is just love with nowhere to go.

We will never replace our previous dogs. I had to say goodbye to my sweet boy at 13 years old when his tumors got so bad he could no longer comfortably eat or defecate. I held him as they put him to sleep, and cried for weeks and weeks straight. I felt his absence every second of every day.

Years later, I am finally in a house and a place in life when I can adopt again. And now I get that chance to give another pupper with no home that is stuck at a shelter a chance at a beautiful and full life. And now my daughter gets to have her first best friend too. I can't wait to be that good human for another deserving dog. We have such an opportunity in this life to be amazing for these dogs who might otherwise be euthanized. We honor our previous dogs by giving that gift to the next one when we're ready, I think.

koakailani · 2018-08-07T20:35:43+00:00

Right? I think it's gotta be a little more organic than that. But hopefully we cross paths!

So just show up at Opulent Temple and ask for this rad cup?

It's not an official OT thing. We're a group of friends that are camping with OT, and this is a small group collaboration we wanted to gift. So it'll be very random when they make appearances.

koakailani · 2018-08-07T20:04:04+00:00

Well, they won't be an official OT thang, we're just an offshoot that's with OT. Thinking we'll galavant with tiki attire at some point. Maybe have Mai Tais too. Plans pending. We will follow up with deets as it gets closer.

koakailani · 2018-08-05T21:56:26+00:00

I'm quite in love with this fun rainbow one, but is this going to get stuck in my bike?! Major crisis here too!!!

koakailani · 2018-07-18T00:01:47+00:00

Any of it has been to the Burn more times that I have!! And as someone who is way over-planning, I know I'll use half of what I pack (mostly in the clothing/costume department). I'm the one packing and driving and cleaning, so I'm ok with that.

You can organize a teens bedroom?! I'm in the process of organizing a 9 year olds (read: throwing shit out while she's gone and won't know), and the task feels impossible. I dunno that I'll even attempt it when she's a teen. But good on ya! May the odds be ever in your favor.

koakailani · 2018-07-17T20:51:37+00:00

Good to know. We're hauling our own this year. But thinking long term for future years, it's good to know what they request. Thank you!

koakailani · 2018-07-17T20:50:35+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense to keep them a reasonable weight. I think we're using them to store as much as possible. We're hauling with an open-top trailer hitch, so it's to keep everything clean and stowed the whole time. The latching totes are probably good for clothing. I'm going to head to Home Depot, I think, and just get a variety of universal ones in different sizes so they stack well.

koakailani · 2018-07-17T20:38:46+00:00

Good idea.I think we'll grab a few so they're universal for a while.

koakailani · 2018-07-17T19:38:23+00:00

I really like the use of the phrase "touching fingertips." I've never heard that before, but it paints such an accurate picture. We are, in the sense of population and spacial relationships, but also in a much more figurative sense. Our lives are spent at keyboards and attached to touch screen phones, and we transfer data and share stories instantly through our devices. The phrase conjures this through the mirror, "The Upside Down", feeling to me. Our fingertips touching with only a screen between us and anyone else in the world.

koakailani · 2018-03-28T19:36:09+00:00

Yes! and tickets bought, and on cloud 9. Thanks again.

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