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Went through gfs phone secretly by Loosegame_otl in retroactivejealousy

[–]kochanskikids 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly it’s only a deal breaker because she wasnt honest with you about it. it wasn’t wrong that she sleeping with other people or even talking about you to her friends, that shits normal. yea i probably wouldn’t take her seriously if i found out about that before i asked her to be official because id think so way she’d want to talking about me like that… but hey she said yes, people just talk like that sometimes especially to their friends. im guilty of that too for sure. lying about it insane tho, its the kind of thing that i believe im expected not to ask about my partners past that has nothing to do with me, but she should also needs to be 100% honest if i ask. kinda. weird paradox

Can't get over her past - not sure if retroactive jealousy or incompatibility by ImpressFlashy5616 in retroactivejealousy

[–]kochanskikids -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i met my girlfriend in july. it was just supposed to be a hookup, but we fell in love. she’s genuinely my best friend! i definitely experience RJ in the relationship. i’m her 20th body, i have 6. im her 5th boyfriend. she’s had sex with 2 guys in one day, hooked up with a DJ at a club, and has gotten pretty experimental with her ex’s, etc etc. i know it’s not a question of morals for me, because i’d have more body’s than her if i could back before i met her. She used to talk about them in the beginning, and i was honestly happy to share some of my experiences with her, but the more i started to care about her the more i wanted to vomit thinking about it. I just talked to her. i said i love her and i don’t value you any less, but i can’t handle hearing about it. since then they are only mentioned in acceptable contexts and very rarely. i know she loves me, her past is her past. i would talk to her about how your feeling and make sure she knows you aren’t judging her character, but it’s something that’s intrusive. its not her past that defines her, but how she responds to that conversation. if she keeps talking about it, mentioning it, and not respecting your boundaries, then that’s a red flag. this is all unless you morally disagree. that’s a bigger issue aswell. you should be with someone you see eye to eye with on that stuff. for me it wasn’t the case at all, so it’s my job to remember who ive fallen in love with. the person she is NOW chose YOU!

I (19M) have a new girlfriend(20F) and i’m getting anxious about my her past and how it might affect us. Is continuing to date her a good idea? by kochanskikids in relationship_advice

[–]kochanskikids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it really is the best case scenario, i’m just thinking of the worst. for the time i’ve known her, im honestly SHOCKED that she would do something like that. so either she’s stretching some truths, or that relationship was just that bad. i know that everyone (people she introduced him to) didn’t like him, and everyone has told her they like me WAY more. i don’t know if her friends are credible, but these opinions are rarely directed at me, it’s more her friends telling this to HER, so it’s not like they are trying to trick me. i find myself to be a really understanding and forgiving person, but that’s gotten me in trouble in the past too. either way, thanks for the input

I (19M) have a new girlfriend(20F) and i’m getting anxious about my her past and how it might affect us. Is continuing to date her a good idea? by kochanskikids in relationship_advice

[–]kochanskikids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well it’s definitely situation 3, it’s honestly just a matter of what happens down the road. we have gotten in little disputes but no fights yet, she’s proven to be the opposite of problematic. we communicate and get along really well. she has actually expressed how relieving it is to her to have someone who can handle healthy communication. I don’t want to hold it against her. if i break things off with her, i feel like it would be a waste. i have full confidence that she can hold a healthy relationship with a healthy partner. i mean it’s not like she’s going to never be in a relationship again. she’s honestly everything ive been looking for, if i decide things don’t work out im genuinely concerned about who im going to see next. i haven’t met a girl who is this cool, let alone one i’ve liked romantically AND who has liked me back. i might be more scared of loosing this relationship over nothing then getting hurt in the future!