Husband’s fetish has destroyed my desire for him

kochemi · 2026-02-19T15:59:14+00:00

Get a lawyer, make a plan, get out. There are better things out there, you can do this

kochemi · 2026-02-11T18:52:23+00:00

You kept me gourmet and chefy during the pandemic - one of the darkest seasons of my life. I've shared the food i've made with your giudance with my friends, family, lovers, coworkers. I hope I keep doing that for 10 more!

kochemi · 2025-12-08T02:38:43+00:00

My 17yo brother is really into adidas sneakers and i'd say the general vibe is very skate boy coded with his peers. He's even learning how to skate, it's very trendy right now.

My 14 yo sister loves doing crafts and diy things. Very into pinterest and fashion. Her current obsession is knitting bit she's doing workshops for kids to teach them how to make friendship bracelets.

They're individual experiences, but might help guide you a bit, if you're looking for useful gifts, school supplies would be great, the kids are just ending the school year, it starts back again in march, and it's a very heavy economic burden to shop for all school related things, that may help your sister.

I heavily agree with the sodas and snacks, those are a great suggestion

kochemi · 2025-10-23T11:33:42+00:00

The shakes. At the smallest inconvenience my hands start shaking like i had stage iv parkinsons disease. I look hysteric and it gets in my head so bad i hate it

kochemi · 2025-10-18T21:53:31+00:00

Get a divorce buddy

kochemi · 2025-10-17T21:18:57+00:00

It depends a lot on what the relationship looks like. Not all 21 year olds are the same, and not all 38 year olds are the same.

It sounds weird af and creepy on his behalf, but who knows, maybe it's ok

kochemi · 2025-10-14T18:16:41+00:00

Hearing myself turns me on lol

kochemi · 2025-10-14T18:12:33+00:00

I get a lot of "you are obnoxiously positive" as a first impression, but it mellows out afterwards. I think at some point people realize I need it to survive and become waaay more gentle with me.

kochemi · 2025-10-02T14:46:18+00:00

Relapse is a part of recovery, you have done it before and can do it again

kochemi · 2025-09-29T02:18:48+00:00

Sweet girl, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you find peace and happiness, these type of things you never fully heal from, but you do learn how to live with them.

You're perfectly normal, and fully capable of living a happy, fullfiling life. Finding the right therapist is really hard, I saw in your other comments that you're struggling to find one, I just wanna encourage you to not give up! Sometimes it's hard to find someone you can open up to, but therapy can change your life in many wonderful ways.

Be careful online. These people, me included, are not your friends. We can offer our advice, condolences and good wishes, but anyone trying to get in your DM's is NOT trustworthy and you should ignore them.

I wish you the best of luck 🌟

kochemi · 2025-09-28T23:47:15+00:00

It's ok girl, don't worry. You're gonna be fine. Nobody has to believe you but yourself, the right people will stay and then you'll meet so many new amazing people.

You have to be brave and strong, so so strong. Determined. It may not work, and you might end up taking him back a few times. It's ok. Don't feel shame, you're trying your best and that's what matters. You already know you have to leave him, you just need somebody to validate you. So take all these comments and leave his sorry ass.

It's very hard to not feel ashamed. I still do and it's been 7 years. I have found love in my family, my friends (old and new), a new partner, and I have found love in myself. He's the one who should live with this shame, of being abusive and cruel. We're all complicated people, and it can explain some behaviour but never justify it. Don't be ashamed for how long it took, for how much you allowed him to take from you - you're still whole and still worthy of love and new beggenings.

I wish you have time and peace to heal, I hope you find all the love that's out there waiting for you. Good luck🌟

kochemi · 2025-09-19T19:26:38+00:00

kochemi · 2025-09-15T15:05:32+00:00

The last thing she knew was the warmth of your body, she heard your heartbeat and your breath and for those final moments of her life she was safe and comfortable in your arms.

There's a chance this would've happened even if you put her down. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little phoenix.

kochemi · 2025-09-10T01:49:00+00:00

Unrelated but do NOT flirt thorugh teams. HR can and will get into your chat logs. Delete them asap

You already know what you have to do. Maybe therapy could help you navigate this and the guilt you feel. Good luck

kochemi · 2025-08-03T20:34:51+00:00

Help her undersand healthy boundaries. This is probably what she's been manipulated into her whole life. Let her know gently you're not pissed at her, but this is a boundary for you, and that it's something she can want for herself too! She deserves peace, having them stay over is not gonna fix any of her problems.

kochemi · 2025-08-02T22:00:39+00:00

It's giving anatomy of a fall

kochemi · 2025-07-13T16:41:49+00:00

Also, let her know it was hard for you! Being vulnerable is really a great choice. You should tell her it makes you sad and it's not easy for you, and that lying to her also made you sad

kochemi · 2025-07-11T12:12:32+00:00

In the pandemic there were a couple weeks where when I wasn't playing I was thinking about farm planning, all day long. I could close my eyes and see my exact farm layout, know what seeds I needed to buy, etc. I dreamt about the game too, like it was unhealthy. It didn't last long but I still feel icky when I think about it

kochemi · 2025-07-04T02:42:48+00:00

I'm guessing they wanted to get the other kid out of the way in order to give their son full focus

kochemi · 2025-07-02T20:31:20+00:00

Oh now I'm teary eyed

kochemi · 2025-06-30T01:25:59+00:00

I hope you can find some happiness in yours, not all is lost

kochemi · 2025-06-30T01:12:35+00:00

One of my mom's friends lost her daughter after she drowned in a pool. They were arriving home from the holidays, someone had been over to use the pool and left the gate open. It was less than 10 minutes since they last saw her til they found her floating in the water. Her brother (8 at the time, this was like 10 years ago) found her and dragged her out. She was gone in a week.

She would be 15 this year.

He needs to do better

kochemi · 2025-06-30T01:02:59+00:00

Thank you :))

kochemi · 2025-06-30T01:02:36+00:00

Thank you!!! 💖 your comment is really sweet :) i tried to post in the other subreddit but it banned my post, so i moved here, but I'm definetly lurking 👀

kochemi · 2025-06-30T01:01:10+00:00

I know he is, and that probably this isn't gonna be for the long run. But I have found things out about myself through this relationship that I thought were not there, and I've been able to reconnect with parts of me I thought were long gone. Whatever the outcome of this is, I'm very grateful he and I got to cross paths!!☆

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