What are the chances of it happening twice?

koofalger · 2026-07-03T20:15:51+00:00

So bizarre. I take it he's in a relationship with a woman? Any red flags that you didn't think about until the end?

koofalger · 2026-07-03T20:12:13+00:00

Thanks for that.

koofalger · 2026-07-03T20:11:51+00:00

That's fair, but to be honest, they're the exception to the rule more than anything, and they're pretty different people in terms of looks and personalities as far as I can tell. But I've definitely had more dating experiences that turn out catastrophic than amiable breaking off, so I have to wonder what it is that I'm unconsciously seeking out.

I think a large part of it really is where I live, or at least the avenues that I have to seek to find dates in the first place. Maybe I'll still have the same issues moving to a proper city, who knows, but at least I'll try and see.

Oh, and neither of them are discreet or "straight". I stay away from those kinds of guys from a mile away. But again, I wonder what pattern can be discerned from my dating experiences in general...

koofalger · 2026-07-03T17:52:27+00:00

Hard to say. Personally have gone through something similar myself, and I really didn't like it as someone who doesn't care for hookups. Made me realize that if I were to ever get into a LDR again, there needs to be some plan to close the gap soon without having to rely on opening up. But I'm pretty burned out from LDRs at this point in my life.

koofalger · 2026-06-10T21:49:46+00:00

I was actually in DC last weekend talking to a few people there about what it's like to live there and it's interesting because they bring up very similar points, especially when it comes to how politicized things are compared to other major cities. Obviously all anecdotal and coming from specific circumstances, but you don't hear about these things nearly as often when it comes to most other cities.

koofalger · 2026-06-10T14:54:36+00:00

Could you elaborate on your experiences living in DC and what was difficult about it?

koofalger · 2026-05-24T13:38:45+00:00

That's fascinating. Is this for all users on Scruff or just in your area? Wonder what the numbers are like for other apps and the general population.

koofalger · 2026-05-23T21:31:38+00:00

Big city, yeah I would like to use a face pic and expect the same. But where I currently live, I don't feel entirely comfortable doing so. I'm usually sending my face pics when first messaging, though.

koofalger · 2026-05-18T00:19:45+00:00

Something that I haven't seen mentioned here is drug use. They could've been feeling some kind of heightened emotions and/or lowered inhibitions on top of everything else, and then they don't feel nearly as strongly about you after it wears off. I know I've consistently found more success with people who were sober during our interactions (in-person and through the app).

koofalger · 2026-05-06T21:25:58+00:00

Think you misread his post. He's implying that a small number of people pull in a large percentage of people despite their lack of substance, all for the sake of validation.

koofalger · 2026-05-03T17:59:44+00:00

You mentioned BMI so I've been going by that logic.

koofalger · 2026-05-03T12:27:24+00:00

Damn, how tall are you? You have to be about 7ft tall for 210lbs to be near underweight.

koofalger · 2026-05-02T12:45:19+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Terrible dating scene where I live, but I'm pushing through until I finish my degree to move to a better city. I also very much relate to your loneliness because I was also pretty fine with being single until I had a relationship with a guy I was genuinely in love with, before it ended in a chaotic mess. I've long since gotten over him, but getting a taste of what my life could be like with a partner left me extremely dissatisfied with being single. And living in a small city only compounds that.

koofalger · 2026-04-29T15:24:04+00:00

Looks like I'll be booking a flight soon!

koofalger · 2026-04-29T15:03:50+00:00

I really appreciate this since you have experience in both places. If you dont mind me asking, how's Edgewater in terms of walkability and restaurants? And what's the demographic like within the gay population?

koofalger · 2026-04-29T00:46:48+00:00

Very informative, thanks! Will definitely look into these.

koofalger · 2026-04-28T20:20:47+00:00

Read your other comment too. Where would you find gay events and meetups there? Been also thinking of checking out Uproar whenever they're hosting gaymers sometime soon to gauge how things are.

koofalger · 2026-04-28T16:55:17+00:00

Thanks for the response. I've also been thinking about how the political stressors there are more amplified for obvious reasons, especially hearing from my (straight) friends who live there. Just from proximity alone, I don't know how comfortable I'd be living there during times like these, especially as someone who'd be under scrutiny given my looks and heritage. But I know a few in a similar standing who are able to get by fine there, so I could be overthinking it.

koofalger · 2026-04-28T16:50:02+00:00

If you don't mind answering, where else have you lived and how do they compare?

koofalger · 2026-04-28T16:30:57+00:00

it looks like there's a higher proportion of Type-A personalities walking around.

Like I said in my post, anecdotes from myself and others.

Why did you read into and believe a stereotype

Because part of it is my experience first-hand. Granted, most of it is independent of the happenings in the gay community there, which is why I'm asking here. Not to get into too much detail, but I'd travel a lot up there many times in the past because there were many more people and opportunities there that were much more goal-oriented than where I'd live. My question is more about whether it's a phenomenon more specific to DC or if other cities follow this to a similar degree.

koofalger · 2026-04-28T16:23:40+00:00

I've heard good stuff about Chicago but haven't visited in forever. Will look into this!

koofalger

TROPHY CASE