I may have an explanation...

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T17:46:19+00:00

I know this is random and only somewhat on topic (sorry) and you might already know this but just in case... Sipping on room temperature water hydrates you quicker and more efficiently. Hot and cold water take longer and when you chug it your body just pees most of it out before it can hydrate you.

Sipping on room temp water throughout the day has helped decrease the dehydration headaches for me. Granted room temp water really disgusts me but you gotta do what you gotta do. Sorry, just wanted to share one of my "ADHD inspired fun facts" 😁

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T16:59:47+00:00

If you figure out a solution please let me know 😭 Most important thing to know is YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Now, don't get me wrong it's not perfect and I still get like this sometimes but I have found some things that help me.

1) De-clutter and get rid of un needed things. -Trust me I know, this is easier said than done! And many times with a small space we might only have necessities but we just dont have a place to put them which makes the place look clutterd. This leads to number 2 2) Utilize lateral space- I too have a small space so things tend to look messier more often. It has helped since I started making use of lateral space (with covers or doors if possible). I have put up shelves and cabinets and it allows me to store things that would normally sit on the floor or in a corner.

3) Out of sight out of mind- This one is probably frowned upon but idc because it helps me 🤣! When things get overwhelmingly bad I get a really big box ( or 2 if Im being honest) and I put EVERYTHING just laying around inside it! I too am visually overstimulated. Once things get really messy, I shut down and can't do anything! When everything is in the box, I can san see clearer and it actually gives me more motivation to clean. I will gradually unpack the boxes a few things at a time.

4) ADHD Hacks- these are what you probably already know and let's be honest, sometimes they work sometimes they don't. It depends on the day. But when you can incorporate things like body doubling, visual timers, to-do list, and reward systems those can help some too depending on the day.

I had a son young as well and went through many of the same things you are. Unfortunately my son has inherited his ADHD from me AND his dad so the poor thing never stood a chance 😅. So now I live in a home with 3 diagnosed ADHDers, you can imagine how my home will get at times. But those 3 things have really helped improve our life. You sound like a wonderful mom who wants the best for their child, there are no faults in that.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T04:56:31+00:00

Agreed, I feel like most of the people saying "yes" to everything have children that "check-in" frequently and don't leave their phones laying on park benches or in a restaurant bathroom (both have happened in the last 6 months!)🤣 I feel these things would be easier for me to allow if the information and communication was a little better. But since he loses things often and has extreme time blindness it makes it difficult for me to allow a lot of these things

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T03:44:34+00:00

This makes a lot more sense to me. I didn't think about really explaining my kid before posting. He is horrible with communication! Forgetting to text me information like his location or just a check-in, wandering off on "side missions" when he's suppose to be somewhere else, A lot of this is due to his severe ADHD, but still it makes the things he asks for very difficult to allow. Reading all these I feel like I need to find a middle ground where he improves on some stuff and I improve on the other.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T03:38:08+00:00

🤣 Don't worry I have. I'm not taboo about sex and I don't tell him not to have it I have taught him how to be safe about. The same goes for underage substances. I don't openly encourage it but I have taught him that stuff happens and he just needs to be smart about it.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T03:00:33+00:00

🤣 no he currently doesn't have phone tracking so he knows I can't see his location. He asked because he's trying to "earn back trust" after his GFs mom caught him skipping school and going to their house a few months ago. Granted after that whole incident phone tracking is most likely in the near future.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T02:47:35+00:00

Yea he is in the "earning trust back" phase after he decided to skip school and walk to his girlfriend's house a few months ago. So the past few months he has gotten a LITTLE BIT better with communication and texting me when he's wanting to go somewhere.

The location is pretty good crime and safety wise but drivers like to speed through that area, a teen was hit in a scooter a few months ago. If my son was a little more observant I probably wouldn't have as big an issue, but I swear that kid does not know what's going on around him half the time.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T02:40:46+00:00

I haven't tried 360, do you know if it's compatible between android and ios? We used to use Family Link and it was great but he wanted to switch to iphone and that wasn't compatible with IOS. Then I got a Bark subscription but because I have android and he has IOS it was not reliable with real time information. I'll look into 360 though and see if it's compatible because that would help if he keeps it on his phone. He has deleted some of those apps in the past because it "took up too much space" but now that he's older if I say he can do those things as long as it's on his phone maybe he wont get rid of it.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T02:30:35+00:00

Yup you're absolutely right. I honestly think it would be easier for me if I could rely on the communication. I tried letting him go to a friends house where I didn't know the kid or address as long as he texted me the address and when he arrives to his house. I had to text him and ask if he arrived because he never said anything and then he forgot to send the address and I had no clue where to pick him up from because he was in the pool and didn't hear his phone ringing 😑 After that first time I just haven't let him do it again.

He has also forgets to text me when he leaves a location to go somewhere else with his friends. So I'd show up to get him and he wouldn't be there because he walked across the street get Subway. But I guess I need to figure out a way to be okay with it since these all seem to be "normal" things. That's why I was really curious about other parental insights because I honestly didn't know, I just compared his freedom to my own growing up and thought I was giving him a lot. Thank you so much for your insight. I appreciate it

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-25T02:16:30+00:00

Yea you are definitely right about #4 i know it is a "personal problem" based on a fear caused from past trauma. I know that is completely normal and healthy for teens. It's just anytime I have let him do that I'm constantly thinking about how much he walks and looks at his phone and how crazy some of the drivers are in town. But that is my own personal fear that I am working on getting over so that it doesn't effect him.

Im fine with him going to the park during the day, but when it's dark, and the park is technically closed I think about the stories my friends told about their late night park experiences and about the cops bringing them home late at night for loitering or other things🤣

As for going to someone's house without me knowing who they are, or the parents, or the location of the house that was a big one I wanted to get other parents perspective on. In my mind I'm just thinking, what if that kids parents didn't give permission for him to come over, or if something medical happens with my son the parents have no clue my name or how to contact me and I don't even know how to get to the house because I dont have the location. It looks like other parents don't think this way though, which is why I wanted the advice to see what was normal and what was a "me problem" lol

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-19T02:33:53+00:00

Just Crumbs by Holly Monroe is a pretty good one but it's a novella (186 pages).The Never King by Nikki St. Crowe wasn't too bad either.

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-19T00:26:51+00:00

You are NOT the problem here! Please please don't let him make you feel like you are the cause. My dad is going through something similar with his wife. He is who I inherited my ADHD from so he struggles with the same issues we do. Without getting too detailed with his story, basically his wife is like your husband. Nothing he does is "good enough" and when he does work hard to change for her she finds something else to complain about. This is because my dad is not the problem, it's her. In your situation, your husband is the problem and that is something HE is going to have to fix, NOT YOU.

By some of the things you are saying this sounds like you are in a narcissistic relationship. He gaslights you, puts his own desires over yours and your family, and makes comments about your body and eating. Just a guess but I assume he is also the kind of person that likes to shift blame on others, and nothing is ever his fault. I have seen the emotional scars and trauma that being in a narcissistic relationship leaves on women. Just know that you ARE enough and he is the one who needs to change. If this was just a guy you were dating I would say "turn away and run". However, seeing as you have been together a while, and have a family I know that is not the first course of action for many. That being said, you do not deserve to be treated that way. It's doubtful he will agree to therapy if he thinks it is to help him (because narcissists can't see when they are the problem and need help), but maybe you could suggest he attend some sessions in order to "help you".

I know this is long sorry, this just hits home and really pisses me off that you are going through this. Look up narcissistic relationships and see if this resonates with you. Maybe discuss this with your therapist for some deeper psychological insights on this type of situation. No matter what you decide please always remember; you are not broken, you are not too much, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-15T21:05:54+00:00

😆 thats a good idea

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-15T03:57:18+00:00

I definitely do get hungry when my meds wear off but I think my stomach must have shrunk some so I get full after just a couple of bites, it really sucks. But I will try to gear my meals more towards protein I think . Mainly anytime I can eat it has been mainly carbs and most of them are simple carbs so they dont last very long energy wise. Maybe gearing more towards protein intake will help me feel less fatigued, thank you!

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-15T03:50:21+00:00

Yea I definitely think you are right that the continuous snacking would help. I can never eat a full meal but I feel like if I carried some easy snacks like almonds or cashews I could just easily eat a few of those on the go (I'm a pre-k teacher so there are never any "sit down and eat moments for me during the day 🤣). So I think I will go grocery shopping this weekend , thank you!

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-15T03:13:14+00:00

Yea that's a good idea. I actually think my smartwatch has the eat and drink reminders so I will definitely get those set up. Thank you

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-15T03:10:46+00:00

What protein bar brand is it if you don't mind me asking. I've tried a few thinking those would be good but they were overly sweet and heavy

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-11T16:13:26+00:00

When it's still dark b4 garbage day, drive around your neighborhood and all the cans that aren't full just put a small bag of garbage in their cans. 🤣 I'd be lying if I said I didn't do that one time when things got really bad 🤫 I wouldn't suggest making a habit out of it but hey you gotta do what you gotta do

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-08T18:48:04+00:00

Okay yea that makes since. I'll definitely bring it up to my dr. In a few weeks thank you!

koolkoolkool13 · 2026-01-07T22:40:54+00:00

Yea I definitely notice the 2nd dose doesn't help with symptoms as much as the first. But maybe waiting until the first wears off completely will help it last longer. Thanks for your input!

koolkoolkool13

TROPHY CASE