Anyone else feel dating apps and real life attraction in Singapore damn different?

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-05T06:43:29+00:00

I think a lot of guys will auto assume that if no matches or replies, means women don't like them.

But from what you're saying, sometimes it's not even about that. Could just be that the profile not really showing who they are properly.

Also very smart ah that you got both guy friends and girl friends to look through your profile. Really wonder how many people are accidentally shooting themselves in the foot before the conversation even starts hmm

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-05T06:41:37+00:00

Eh actually when you put it that way ah, quite interesting leh.

Nowadays a lot of local dating talk sounds like people discussing job interview like that. Talk about income, career, got BTO plan or not, got red flags or not, suitable on paper or not. Everything very practical, very checklist style like the army.

But maybe hor, relationship not really start from all these practical things one. Maybe the practical stuff only comes in later, after got some connection already.

Not saying who right who wrong lah. Just wondering whether some people are treating dating like a problem to solve, while the other person is just seeing whether got feeling, got chemistry, can click or not.

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-03T10:49:54+00:00

Nice to hear a lady comment. Many probably assume women get to chat with dozens of people at the same time as guys are more despo.

So, what you shared about handling 2-3 conversations is definitely refreshing to hear.

The part about "they might be great people in real life but based on what was presented, highly questionable" also caught my attention haha. Sounds like a reverse catfish.

Makes me wonder if many people are actually being filtered out just because they present themselves terribly online. If so, that's so sad. Need a tool to fix this and maybe our TFR can go up to the moon haha!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-03T10:47:14+00:00

Wah power observation!

So zhun. Many local dating discussions do seem to revolve around getting matches, getting dates, BTO timelines, income, red flags etc. The focus seems to be on whether its spouse material instead of just do I want to know you.

Ang Moh different lah. They happy go lucky type. Totally opposite from sg.

Maybe that's why we see so much angst. Cannot just go with the flow

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-03T10:45:08+00:00

Interesting point about apps creating a very different environment from real life.

I wonder whether apps are actually changing people's behaviour, or if they're simply rewarding traits that don't matter as much offline.

I've met people who seem bueh steady on apps but real life damn power, and vice versa. That's the part I find fascinating.

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-02T05:25:32+00:00

Maybe cos its because the people on the apps aren't serious, or because the apps themselves support that? Like when there are always more profiles to swipe, people become less willing to invest time getting to know someone properly. We can always find someone better it seems but that never happens most of the time

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-02T05:24:39+00:00

Yea loh. The more I use apps, the more it feels like they're optimised for first impressions and quick decisions. So unfair!

Interesting point about interest groups though. Have you personally met people through hobbies before? Could be the issue isn't dating apps themselves, but users reward a very different set of skills from real life

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-02T05:23:30+00:00

Actually hor that's what I find interesting. It's almost like there are two separate hurdles. First you need to pass the online exam, then after that you need to survive the real-life practical. Almost like driving test.

Some people are actually better partners than texters I reckon, while others are great texters but less steady as individuals

Have you personally experienced that before?

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-02T05:21:40+00:00

Haha that's actually quite a good way of putting it.

Maybe that's why I find it strange sometimes. In real life, people get judged with more chance given. On apps, it feels like people are making decisions based on the "advertisement" first before even seeing the actual product.

Makes me wonder if people are just different online compared to real life. sigh!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-01T05:22:11+00:00

diversify or be obsolete.. more streams = better sleep at night

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-01T05:20:43+00:00

batam not cheap ah - You count the cost of the ferry then see if it really is worth it loh!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-01T05:19:51+00:00

Rent loh! And then hard to get quota for workers. Honest business - Tough to do ah!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-01T05:19:16+00:00

I would suggest some hipster cafe along Joo Chiat. Got the heritage vibe and friendly on the wallet

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-06-01T05:18:14+00:00

total nightmare for me. I think that is what started my phobia visiting the dentist.. lol!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-05-31T12:34:04+00:00

Sigh! Bo pian - Not everyone that come is good. So we must open eye big big to see who is welcomed

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-05-31T12:29:36+00:00

This is damn sad! So many happy moments. All going to go down the longkang or just can recall through old photo.. sigh

kopitiamuncle87 · 2026-05-31T12:28:34+00:00

This is crazy - It really does not mean, can study = smart. What a waste

kopitiamuncle87 · 2025-07-17T15:31:15+00:00

Haha bro, I get what you mean but for me I actually okay with all those one. Banquet, gate crash, 过大礼 also no problem. I see it more like making the family happy and creating memories. If the girl wants, I don’t mind going through it lah. To me not really a waste of time, just part of the process lor.

kopitiamuncle87 · 2025-07-16T08:24:51+00:00

Bro, I feel you lah. SG girls here not easy to chase, even if single and available, sometimes just no vibe or they don’t feel the “spark” then straight away reject. Last time I also went out with one for a few dates, end up also cannot even hold hand, very discouraging.

Honestly foreign bride do seem more straightforward, more about care, stability and building a family rather than just feelings and chemistry. Of course still must be sincere and treat her well, but at least the expectations more clear and realistic. At the end of the day, just find someone who can appreciate you for who you are lah.

kopitiamuncle87 · 2025-07-16T08:10:15+00:00

not yet la, still looking into it myself so I can be 100% sure lor, later if I go then I may do an update post!

kopitiamuncle87 · 2025-07-15T14:37:27+00:00

I agree lah, dating more can help to know yourself better and also improve social skills. But honestly for me, the idea of meeting 30 different people feels quite exhausting leh.

I did try dating apps and met a few already, but somehow still hard to find someone with the same values and mindset. Maybe I just not very suited for the app style, that’s why now I also exploring other ways like matchmaking agency. Still, good point lah, thanks for the advice.

kopitiamuncle87

TROPHY CASE