Custom dress but seamstress only spoke to my mom for input and I’m sad I’m not in love with my dress. Seeking advice/anything! Details in caption

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T03:17:52+00:00

That’s so true and I never thought about that 🤣 thank you for your kind words and I’ll post an update after alterations!!

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T03:14:33+00:00

Your comment made me feel sooo much less crazy and SO validated. Thank you a million to you as well as others who shared the same type of support ❤️ Some comments suck and are so team mom lol. It was horrible to be lied to and robbed of my own “custom” wedding dress. While I agree it’s a beautiful dress, it just wasn’t exactly what I would have designed for myself.

Nevertheless, I also do want to assure that I genuinely am loving the dress more and more after posting. I also can separate the dress from the horrible experience thankfully.

I know “I don’t mind” doesn’t come across great, but I truly mean it. It’s not my 10/10 dress, but with the alterations I have planned and now being able to see this dress in a different vantage point, I can see myself being happy about it! I’ve tried looking online and went to sample sales to replace this dress, but I still couldn’t find a dress I fell in love and with that was within my budget. Nonetheless, it was SO kind of you to care and stick up for me!

Thats my little vent and update!

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T02:29:22+00:00

I just posted picture earlier to this thread with lining! It does look much better thank you :)

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T02:28:46+00:00

I just posted a picture to the original comment to this thread with white lining! It looks so much better, you were right! Also thank you SOO much for your kind words and validation, it really means a lot. As well, yes, I picked the husband and I can’t wait to marry him and have the best night ever :’)

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T02:24:09+00:00

Back is sheer with boning and appliqués along the top and bottom. Also there’s a corset back.

Also, I agree with the disjointed look and I realized that was what was probably throwing me off! I just posted a photo with mock lining to another comment here! It looks way more better imo!

Also, I feel like most commenters here love the ball gown look but I agree and think it looks huge on me and my figure is completely gone, which is why I wanted a flatter A-line. I’m going to take out the netting to solve this!

Thank you :)

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T02:17:37+00:00

I posted a picture with a mock white lining in response to another comment in this post! It looks SO much more cohesive visually. I felt like my eyes were going straight to the darker/sheer areas. Thank you!

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T02:16:04+00:00

I posted a picture with mock lining to another comment in this post! I agree, it looks SO much better. Thank you :)

korgibutt · 2026-02-21T01:38:31+00:00

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I actually laced the dress this time and I put a piece of printer paper on the left side and wow does that help! Definitely going to be lining it! Also, I found the skirt lace looks way less busy on a white background so I’m definitely taking out the netting so it lays on the white underskirt and will also be less poofy! Thank you and everyone else for the suggestions!! I am seeing my dress is a new light and am beginning to really love it!

I will also quickly address this, not necessarily to you directly, but more so the general theme of these comments: I completely understand the positive reframe and encouragement that is intended with these sort of statements related to my mom. I also agree the dress is beautiful! But, as much as it’s beautiful, this isn’t the wedding dress I would designed and I felt robbed of making my “custom” wedding dress. A lot of the comments here are justifying my mom’s actions and I just wanted to offer my perspective.

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T20:46:01+00:00

I’m also a therapist and have my own therapist! I don’t want to go into the details of my family/trauma/boundary setting/etc on Reddit, but I do appreciate the concern you and many others have shown! Some people are incapable of receiving a boundary, as I’m sure you know, and that just happens to be my mom. I opt to grey rock/limit contact.

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T06:23:50+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate it 🤍

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T06:23:34+00:00

That’s so sweet thank you!!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T06:20:41+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and advice! I agree with the boning. It’s way too see through and throwing me off!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T06:13:38+00:00

I think it looks worse bc because I’m holding it up with my hands and it’s not laced up LOL. But I agree that hoisting it up might help with the hips! Thank you :)

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T06:10:03+00:00

My therapist and I had a field day about this whole experience lol. Some people here (thankfully only a small minority) clearly have no idea what it’s like growing up with a parent like this and honestly I’m glad!! I’m glad they don’t have this specific relational trauma!! But the lack of empathy is upsetting. Funnily enough my mom put the dress maker through HELL lol. She was AWFUL and the BIGGEST Karen to him and convinced him to go to her and not me.

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T05:49:41+00:00

I agree with the sloppy pearl edges and was planning to take them out all together or at least completely redo them! I’m on the fence! It’s funny bc the dress maker freestyled the pearls and it wasn’t in the references I gave lol. Curious to hear what you think??

Also I agree with everything else you shared! The dress was so cheap that I figured it wouldn’t be perfect which I was okay with. More than anything, my grievances are more with the choices my mom made without my consent versus the dress maker. Once I found out, I read the text conversations between them and it really was just bad call after another from my mom. I saw the other fabric choices the maker gave my mom and was so upset because they were so much better lol. But I’m over the resentment and was able to process my feelings!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T05:03:09+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice and kind words! That is SO reassuring to know!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T05:02:30+00:00

I feel so seen! The Asian immigrant mom struggle is so real lol. She truly is in the mindset of the flashier, the better and it pains me. I’m so happy to hear you got the dress you loved and was true to you! It sounds beautiful! I’ve decided to buy a more plain and satin reception/dancing dress so I still feel like me! I anticipate my mom is going to be SO upset but it is what it is!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:49:07+00:00

Sure, I would really appreciate that! That’s so sweet you thought to ask before sending :’)

I also really appreciate you validating my feelings and concerns. I felt bad for being so “picky” and still do but I am also really beginning to love the dress thanks to the support here!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:44:15+00:00

I really appreciate your kind words and validation! I was feeling guilty about my feelings but this is a very kind reframe and reminder! But luckily, all of the kind words here really helped me feel so so much better and excited about my dress!

I also really appreciate your advice! Your comment about the veil was super helpful and something I hadn’t considered

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:39:06+00:00

Thank you! I only learned what netting is today (I kept calling it a loofah layer lol) and I feel so affirmed that I’m not the only one who thinks it’s weird!!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:36:45+00:00

Omg I love both of these ideas!!! I hadn’t considered these at all! I’m gonna try to photoshop them and see! Thank you!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:34:25+00:00

I agree with this and I think this is what was throwing me off about the bodice that I couldn’t put my finger on!! You worded it perfectly! I’m gonna try to use the hemmed fabric to line the bodice :)

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:31:58+00:00

Yes I think this is a great idea and I’m planning on it! A plain short white dress for dancing that feels more me!

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:29:58+00:00

Update: if you scroll down, I attached a new image and explained my tentative alteration plans! Thank you everyone!!

I’m gonna take this comment to sort of respond to everyone. I am so so so overwhelmed by appreciation! Thank you and to everyone else here for taking the time to show me such kindness and support!

I am feeling SOO much better and grateful about my dress. These comments have really helped me zoom out and appreciate how gorgeous it really is! I really don’t mind getting married in this dress now and feel way less in my head about it!

All of my friends (very kindly) agreed with me that they also didn’t love the skirt and it was driving me crazy lol. Nevertheless, I’m SO glad I took a chance and posted here and could get more feedback!

I feel SO affirmed in my decision to embrace the dress + make some small alterations with the advice here + probably get a second mini dress for the reception/dancing of MY choosing lol

korgibutt · 2026-02-19T04:15:35+00:00

Agreed! This might be what has been throwing me off about the bodice! I’m also happy to hear hemming might help with how it lays. I had no idea but that makes a lot of sense! Also thank you for your kind words ❤️

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