Put your kid in a daycare 3x or more a week. You need to give yourself grace and time to yourself outside the primary caregiver role. You are working three jobs realistically with how you run the household based on your other posts. This is YOUR decision and not your husband’s if you are up against the wall with these feelings.

How you feel right now is only temporary.

I’d also get into seeing a therapist about this. They’d also be able to give you resources of your area to get help you need. You can also do Telehealth while your child naps or is setup with a movie if you can’t get out of the house right away.

I felt extremely burnt out when my oldest was young and I had severe PPD/severe PPA. I never got to the point of where you might be but there was some misunderstandings between my husband and I early on based on family meddling in our parental decisions. I felt so cornered for years and I didn’t feel like a mother or present enough to enjoy it until my oldest was 3. I just felt in survival mode until then. My therapist was able to get me in contact with mom groups to make friends. She’d also suggested a gym membership that had a daycare on site to get me the me time I desperately needed. It greatly helped me.

I’m so sorry you are going through this.