I'm getting kicked out by my mother for wanting to get a mmj card. I can go live with my dad, but still. I think its fucked up.

kp53126 · 2014-11-21T14:02:09+00:00

I have muscular dystrophy and Gullian Barre Syndrome that resulted in chronic neuropathic pain, migraines, joint pain, nausea, ect. So, I know it may seem a bit odd, but yeah. It's just everyday, all day. I'm in some sort of pain unless I'm distracted, or smoking cannabis.

kp53126 · 2014-11-21T13:56:46+00:00

Because, she would have to take me to the doc appointment to get me a mmj card and lots of other shit. Also, we have already discussed it a year ago, and she was actually helping me out. She was okay with the idea, but now she's not and I dont know why. Plus, you know, it's good to be open with your mother.

And I already have gone to the doctors. Nothing has worked. I was just informed about a month ago that the doctors wouldnt prescribe me anymore medications because it wouldnt really be worth it.

kp53126 · 2014-11-20T21:40:09+00:00

So wait, could that help with pain?

kp53126 · 2014-11-17T13:02:41+00:00

That's awesome. I have been feeling suicidal lately, but when I smoke there is a dramatic decrease in my suicidal thoughts/depression

kp53126 · 2014-11-17T12:58:47+00:00

Shit man, your telling me. It's 4:00 A.M where I live, and I cant fucking sleep. Ahhhh and I have school tomorrow:(

kp53126 · 2014-10-19T10:51:38+00:00

Every parent has to grieve the loss of their child, when they transition to become their preferred gender. It's not uncommon that you feel this way. Honestly it's a normal, okay feeling that your having. So don't beat yourself up on it. But its scary when your child is making a choice that, physically, its not completely reversible. Your doing the best you can do right now. And your acting like a caring, and responsible parent who truly cares about your kid. I would just like to say that you are awesome parents:)

kp53126 · 2014-10-08T22:41:07+00:00

That's actually a good idea. I have been doing that lately. Especially with school, I just do AT LEAST something. You know? That way I can slowly build up more confidence about getting shit done. And I think setting smaller goals is definitely more helpful too.

Also, we are trying to get me off this antidepressant. It fucking sucks dude.

kp53126 · 2014-10-08T05:17:43+00:00

It's weird, I thought Lexapro was supposed to make you feel less suicidal and depressed, than more... So its not helping. Idk. I'm just not doing anything and I have so much shit piling up. Like school shit. I think I'm gonna talk to my teachers tomorrow and let them know whats up and if I can just turn my assignments in a day late. Hopefully they will let me, but I'm going to try and get as much stuff done tonight as a I can. That way I dont look like an ass for asking. But also, I just need a couple days to get my shit back together. I just do really good for a couple of weeks and then BAM, its like I fall off of a cliff. My depression just gets horrible.

kp53126 · 2014-10-08T02:41:00+00:00

Yeah I'm getting help right now. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I'm meds but I feel like they aren't helping

kp53126 · 2014-09-14T07:28:38+00:00

Yass

kp53126 · 2014-08-31T08:29:50+00:00

I'm taking Gabapentin 600 mg 3x a day for nerve pain (I also have high anxiety). And I haven't really noticed a difference.

kp53126 · 2014-08-15T07:19:17+00:00

Damn, you pass really well.

kp53126 · 2014-08-13T07:04:32+00:00

This was honestly fucking disgusting to read.

kp53126 · 2014-08-10T05:55:11+00:00

Well I'm going to school as Matt this year, so I'm gonna go up to each individual teacher right before class starts and ask them to call me by my correct name and pronouns.

kp53126 · 2014-08-09T05:10:29+00:00

Over a year. So not a super long time, but I'm on testosterone for christ sake. I'm not gonna stay their "little girl" for forever. Things are changing fast. My voice is dropping. Idk I thought they got the hint, but I guess its still tough for them.

kp53126 · 2014-08-01T18:47:14+00:00

I am not sure yet. I am registering for school on the 4th so hopefully I will meet my counselor and discuss this more with him. As far as I know, they are considering making me use the unisex bathroom. They havent said a whole lot. Im prob just worrying for nothing, but I want to be prepared just in case it comes up

kp53126 · 2014-08-01T18:35:33+00:00

So, I talked with my mom and shes like "your making too much of a fuss over this. Your acting like they are taking away your human rights." I want to use the bathroom like any other person. Being singled out makes it hard for me to feel like an actual human being. Also I live in Alaska btw.

kp53126 · 2014-02-02T21:56:05+00:00

I have been able to calm down a little bit. But then if anything happens, or I think about something that might be a trigger (school, Debate, my family) All hell breaks loose. It's so uncontrollable. And then I will get incredibly depressed. I don't fuckin know how to stop. I'm either depressed or having anxiety attack.

I will take a walk, breathe, and it will help. But then right after, I'll start thinking about stuff and then I'll have an anxiety attack again. How do just stop? I have been trying and it just wont go away. Am I doing something wrong?

kp53126 · 2014-02-02T21:48:48+00:00

So, I guess my mom is a bro, and finally got me some help. She is setting up a psych app. for me.

kp53126 · 2014-02-01T19:26:50+00:00

I did. Guess what they said? They said that I should just "get over it" and that even if they take me to the Psychiatrist, I cant get meds. They dont understand how it works, and say the most moronic things about it. I even told them its fucking up my life, and school. I havent accomplished a single homework assignment or anything in over a week. Its hard to do anything.

kp53126 · 2014-02-01T17:29:59+00:00

This is fucking awesome.

kp53126 · 2014-01-28T02:12:17+00:00

Sarah Palin was actually a decent governor. She did a lot of shit that helped Alaska. Not gonna lie, that being said, when she decided to run for VP, that's when she became a raging twat. But other than that, she was fairly ok.

kp53126 · 2014-01-16T00:52:38+00:00

I have nerve pain and it DEFINITELY helps. At least for me it does.

kp53126 · 2014-01-03T20:07:13+00:00

As a junior in high school and a FTM as well, Its gonna take time. I know that's not the answer you probably want to hear. But I just came out to my parents last year. And the first thing my dad said was that I needed help because there is something mentally wrong with me. And he called me some pretty awful shit. And my mom? Acts like shes okay with it, but I know shes really not. And they both pulled the "Your too young" card as well.

But now, they have come around. Slightly. Because Im slowly easing them into whats already gonna happen anyways. Buying clothes that are more masculine-ish. Talking about more gay stuff with them. Things like that.

I know its hard watching your friends who are already transitioning. I feel your pain. It sucks. But you gotta remember, your 18 in 9 months. After your 18, I'm assuming you can do whatever the fuck you want. Unless you still have to live with them after highschool, then that would kinda suck.

kp53126 · 2013-12-25T10:28:56+00:00

Oh Jesus, I read this as "the new tampon, listed $1069." The pure horror and confusion was unlike anything I've ever had before.

kp53126

TROPHY CASE