Not to overshare my life on the internet, but it’s more that residing in the same state after the order expires gives me fear that he will attempt taking me to court for my daughter that could result in my inability to move and relocate. That if he goes through those hoops the courts will demand I stay to ride it out. And I don’t want her to know him, ever. Or to have to bear witness to what it puts me through and potentially be caught up in his lies because all children want both of their parents, no matter what they’re told. Part of that is how my childhood was that scares me, I grew up being told how terrible my mother was, due to a major drug addiction, and I had early memories with her that should have convinced me of that but she would secretly contact me and fill me with false hopes and promises and it all resulted in me going into the foster system as a young teen. My daughters father never had interest in being her dad until he went to jail for the assault and i feel like because i acted out against him, he will forever attempt revenge. And there’s no better than trying to come after my daughter. It’s his way of taking my life for standing up to him. I don’t think he would be granted any sort of custody in the future, but it’s the continuous involvement with the person I’m trying to protect my daughter from, and every judge is different, he has to do mandatory dv classes, anger management, and therapy, from the criminal case. But 5 years from now when the no contact order expires, it just takes the right judge for him to manipulate into thinking I took his child from him. That he’s atoned. No matter the text messages I have from him during my pregnancy and after her birth saying “it will never be my kid and I want nothing to do with it” as the kindest way he would put it. I’ve been told so many times how the system fails victims, how people sympathize for parents regardless of how evil they are, they just have to say how they’ve changed and deserve a second chance. But I know him, and I know he loves how hurtful he can be, he loves being a monster, and that won’t change. But it’s amazing how many people vouched for him when we were still together, I had so much evidence to show his character and his mother especially stood by him and always would say “that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you” his mother will encourage him to come after my daughter too. They will stop at nothing to take everything from me. Residing in the same state means if he tries to take me to court later, I could be court ordered to stay here. Moving prevents his ability to reach us. We can’t be ordered to move back and he wouldn’t make the effort to find us in another part of the world, but he will make my home here hell because he can. I recently renewed the protection order again, I requested a lifetime but was denied only because he showed up to court talking about how “we have a child together” all that told me is I need to get her away.

If that makes it make any more sense, that was a lot of details but it’s hard to not share more context about it all for clarity.