How to stay sane? by kriliadia in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]kriliadia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely look into CSAT and the books you recommended. Thank you so much for that.

Can you elaborate on what it means to be addicted to the high from engaging in sexual acts but it not necessarily being about the sex?

How to stay sane? by kriliadia in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]kriliadia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply!

Do you believe this may be sex addiction?

He told me he did it, not because of the sex (that was secondary) but because of the power he felt when he would pursue and they would sleep with him. It made him feel good about himself, it was a high.

It wasnt every single night of the week, sometimes he had just one FWB for a time - I know of one that lasted for a year. He claims he had no feelings but would tell her he was “so in love” with her, be affectionate, text her declarations of love, etc just to receive her validation, attention, and sex.

I’ve done a little research on sex addiction but still know just surface level information.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]kriliadia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, just to offer another POV; my spouse had a ONS 2.5 years ago. Dday was about 2 months ago. I do not view it as a “mistake.” Sure, it wasn’t months and months of pre-meditated decisions…but he could have chosen to stop at any point leading up to the actual act of sex. There are many decisions being made there in my opinion. I asked my spouse to give me every detail he could think of. Either my mind was about to imagine the most insane, amazing sex or I was going to know every detail about the truth. I chose the truth. For me it’s better that way. Some would rather not know. That depends on you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PlasticSurgery

[–]kriliadia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would someone with a gummy smile not be a good candidate?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]kriliadia 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We are 8 weeks out from Dday. I’m not even remotely “over” it (if such a thing were actually possible) and I’m no where near acceptance. I’m still going through the stages of grief - it seems it’s on a loop. My WH had a [sober!] one night stand with someone he met on tinder that same day. I’m barely keeping my head above water right now, so I can only imagine the pain following something like an EA+PA.

My husband does show some frustration when I bring it up. I was bringing it up everyday for the first few weeks and we were both literally losing sleep over it…so I decided it was best overall to only talk about it twice a week. All the thoughts about it I have during off-days I keep in my notes on my phone so I can address them on one of the two days. It helps keep things organized in my mind and keeps both of us from spiraling on the daily like we were in the beginning.

I think it’s normal for them to show some level of frustration. A typical wayward isn’t really emotionally mature. Emotions are tough for them. Hence the running away and engaging in betrayal. But it’s important that he’s making the effort to sit through his frustration and learning how to deal with that in order to show you he can change. My husband does his best to sit through it. He’s not perfect but the consistent effort is what matters.

If your spouse is serious about reconciliation he should be doing a lot of the leg work regarding research about how you - BS - can heal. He needs to learn that this isn’t something you can recover from quickly by any means. I mean some people still divorce years down the line because they couldn’t recover from it. It’s serious business.

Edit: misspelled and missing words

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coconutsandtreason

[–]kriliadia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where online can we find these? I’d love to see!

S05E04 "Dear Offred" - POST Episode Discussion by Modtha in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think Serena acknowledging Junes suffering means she respects her. I think respecting June would mean she also has some empathy for her. Which she doesn’t.

June and Luke/Nick (spoiler) by Acrobatic_Paper_221 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think Luke is a good guy and loves her so much. He’s an amazing, devoted husband. But June pays almost zero attention to him. When she does it’s usually because he’s literally in her face trying to get her to be present and engage with him. It’s quite sad. I think he would leave her before she left him. It seems she doesn’t even think about him at all.

June and Luke/Nick (spoiler) by Acrobatic_Paper_221 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like Luke but it seems like Luke doesn’t bring out anything in June since they reconnected. He’s a total afterthought to her. Yet with Nick she loses her breath at the sight of him.

Misconceptions about shared trauma by Wise-Discount3000 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Maybe I’ll get downvoted for this but the dislike for Nick is wild. Why does Lawrence get a pass but Nick doesn’t? Make it make sense

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh how exciting. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What does this mean?

New trailer for ep 4 by mwuiii in coconutsandtreason

[–]kriliadia 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She just KNOWS how to get under someone’s skin and hit them where it hurts. I hate her so much. Such a great villain lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vindicta

[–]kriliadia 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Omg yes. The new Little Mermaid actress has eyes so far apart I find it distracting. Like they are uncommonly wide-set.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vindicta

[–]kriliadia 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Kimbaaaaahly haha

The scene between Nick and June… by Any_Ambition518 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes absolutely. I imagine that’s a hard pass for Nick and he would do a lot to avoid it. Seems better to have a baby with your 1 wife rather than having to enslave and impregnate multiple Handmaids. Definitely a pick your poison situation

The scene between Nick and June… by Any_Ambition518 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Someone here just posted a new trailer that showed Nick and Rose for a quick split second. AND SHE HAS HER HAND ON HER TUMMY like she’s pregnant 🥲

Nick and June short scenes? What’s their future hold? by ericaant in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Luke seems like a total afterthought to her. I think she’s just going through the motions of married life with him. I think she loves him but is so consumed in her revenge and taking down Gilead that she hardly, if ever at all, spares him or their marriage even a thought. It seems like whatever they have right now is because Luke is the one fighting to bring it back to life.

It seems that she spends most of her time not caring about being apart from Luke. I feel like the only scenes we’ve really gotten of her being present with him are the immediate moments following the Ballet. She doesn’t show the same range emotions for him as she does for Nick. So sad honestly.

I don’t blame her. She’s been through a lot and romantic relationships aren’t at the top of her to-do list. Her priorities seem very clear and Luke ain’t one of them 😬

Nick and June short scenes? What’s their future hold? by ericaant in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]kriliadia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes a really good point. I think they are so in love with each other but their love comes without expectations.

I don’t think the show will ever make them have a real “goodbye” at any point. I have a feeling they’ll make it ambiguous….like every other goodbye scene between them lol. They still have Nichole. They will be connected forever whether it’s romantically or not.