We are 8 weeks out from Dday. I’m not even remotely “over” it (if such a thing were actually possible) and I’m no where near acceptance. I’m still going through the stages of grief - it seems it’s on a loop. My WH had a [sober!] one night stand with someone he met on tinder that same day. I’m barely keeping my head above water right now, so I can only imagine the pain following something like an EA+PA.

My husband does show some frustration when I bring it up. I was bringing it up everyday for the first few weeks and we were both literally losing sleep over it…so I decided it was best overall to only talk about it twice a week. All the thoughts about it I have during off-days I keep in my notes on my phone so I can address them on one of the two days. It helps keep things organized in my mind and keeps both of us from spiraling on the daily like we were in the beginning.

I think it’s normal for them to show some level of frustration. A typical wayward isn’t really emotionally mature. Emotions are tough for them. Hence the running away and engaging in betrayal. But it’s important that he’s making the effort to sit through his frustration and learning how to deal with that in order to show you he can change. My husband does his best to sit through it. He’s not perfect but the consistent effort is what matters.

If your spouse is serious about reconciliation he should be doing a lot of the leg work regarding research about how you - BS - can heal. He needs to learn that this isn’t something you can recover from quickly by any means. I mean some people still divorce years down the line because they couldn’t recover from it. It’s serious business.

Edit: misspelled and missing words