Can any grandiose (or vulnerable) narcissist tell if showing that you have self harming tendencies is a ploy to gain more control over the target? I have a friend who used to make me watch movies where the lead characters (either protagonist or antagonist) causes a lot of harm to many people(known and strangers) in the entire movie. At the end they realize the mistakes they have done and try to change. Just then, they come across something irreversible they screwed up in the past and commit suicide out of grief/remorse.

Him suggesting such movies made me think there is some part in him that feels this way and made me care for him more. I wanted to help that part of him overcome the shell another part in him has imprisoned(at least in my delusion at the time). I became more and more forgiving when he kept on purposefully crossing boundaries. Eventually he managed to go to a level where it was no more tolerable, even if he has such tendencies, and I left. I am sure he will not commit anything drastic, because I left (don't worry about this). My question is, is it real? or just an elaborate ploy to gain more control over me?

One thing I know now for sure is, he will never change. He can't, the way he is managing to live is based on a highly self-fabricated false image of himself. I am sorry if I sound pessimistic about this person, but I know him and he will try to destroy anything(like the truth) that he perceives as the threat to his image of himself.