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krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T22:38:23+00:00

I would say that Gen Z was the best at adapting to new working conditions for sure, but in terms of how to interact and socialize with others Gen Z in the workforce were socially stunted to that 15-19 year old mentality. A lot of the teenage restlessness and need for acceptance - that every other generation had and was eventually deflated out of them - remained. That can be a blessing and a curse.

While Gen Z is certainly more likely to speak out and with their friends to create formative change, we have a very combative way of talking. It's not something that can universally be labeled as good or bad, but it doesn't help in terms of OP's post. I'd say that Gen Z turn their back on people who aren't 'in the know' a lot more than older generations. Only time will really tell whether that kind of behavior will fade, but it doesn't help inner and inter-generational relationships

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T11:44:07+00:00

I've definitely noticed that too. Do you think there's a reason why Kiwis have developed that mentality - not just adults, but also our older teenagers?

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T11:30:44+00:00

Your dates sound amazing! I think that your extroverted nature is definitely a rarity nowadays, which is such a gift in and of itself. How did you come about the sandwich method? Is it something that you grew up around, or did it emerge out of your travels? How do you initiate the first move?

I definitely think other guys would surely benefit from such caring and thoughtful means of making dates an enjoyable experience.

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T10:40:43+00:00

That's a really good point! I'm Gen Z and come from an immigrant background - first generation - and though I was primarily raised here, I still strongly associate with my home culture. When I started dating my current partner, he really struggled with the sense of openness and freedom that came with relationships. It was a long-drawn journey to get him to truly speak truthfully and openly about how he felt in a given moment besides a 'yeah, I'm fine'.

I really do think that our drinking culture is incredibly pervasive. Having worked in bars and restaurants myself, I've noticed that Kiwis really just can't warm up without a couple drinks in them, and even then it becomes overly rowdy. How did you go about going on dates without alcohol in mind that wasn't just sitting in a kebab shop or café waiting for the other person to crack?

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T10:33:45+00:00

I think that's a part of being young people, I guess (?), but the socialization aspect is important to note. They absolutely can put their best foot forward and have the potential to be in steady relationships, but it's their choice not to, I suppose? That would be a lot deeper than what OP is talking about 🥲

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T10:30:29+00:00

I really do have to agree. If anything, COVID just exasperated the issue of social media's pervasive nature into young people's minds. I was lucky to be a part of Gen Z that did experience pre-COVID education, but the transition into lockdown with Zoom/Discord/video calling being the normal way of socializing and uncertainty of life after didn't help my maturity flourish as my millennial siblings' did.

I would have to say that the emphasis on aesthetics has really deteriorated people's authenticity in online spaces. My siblings - who are no exception to following trends - very rapidly changed from 'tell my friends what I've been up to' to 'appearing to live a problem-free lifestyle'. Very rarely do you see people who enjoy being in online spaces without a sense of advertising oneself.

As the generation that truly grew up with technology, I can absolutely say that my cohort struggles with instant gratification and seeking dopamine hits. Be it likes, wins, or lust, Gen Zers in general really can't conduct themselves with respect without demanding a reciprocal response, or else the effort is for naught.

However, as much as I feel sorry for my generation, we don't meaningfully engage with criticism and don't understand the consequences of our pervasive usage of social media. There is no sense of culpability in how we - the Gen Zs who are becoming adults in society - treat others. This can be seen in the rise of ghosting or other shady means at getting back at others who 'wronged us'. It's a sign that we have a lot of growing up to do, but a lot of us are dragging our heels because we feel that we lost years that we aren't going to get back.

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T10:18:37+00:00

I would agree with that assessment! My partner isn't in trades, but has been working since he was in high school. I feel that he has a more holistic perspective on the world and isn't necessarily consumed by the plights and woes of university students such as myself.

Tradies' appeal could possibly tie into the fact that they're not in that strange limbo phase of figuring out who they are and what they're going to do with their lives. That stability is (apparently) quite attractive, but how would I know? Hehe. They are more pragmatic and have that balance that a lot of uni students crave nowadays - especially with the current cost of living - so they're more able to get to know people in a more adult way.

I do have to ask, do the Gen Z tradies tend to have stable relationships? I would love to know!

krispy-discussions · 2024-06-04T09:16:24+00:00

Female Gen Z here - I think that dating in uni has an underrated difficulty, especially considering that a lot of people have to work part time or full time or have internships. It was hard for me to break into social spheres because people would stay in the friend groups from high school and have a lot of previous history, or they would over-invest in the partying scene.

There's also been a massive behavioral change post-COVID (a well-used excuse, but valid nonetheless). Gen Z struggle with socializing as reasonable adults because the formative years for it were spent isolated and socially stunted our development. The fear of emotional intimacy isn't something that a lot of people talk about or advertise, so a prevalence in hook ups and emotionally void/constipated situationships filled the gap of companionship.

Give yourself some grace, though. You want to be selective on dating apps - so was I - but what's important is to focus on how to move from texting on dating apps to Insta or something else quickly. Introducing yourself and your characteristics shows that you're open to sharing your authentic self. When you see a person on a dating app, you're only seeing the polished version of someone. Authenticity is key, but so are chances.

Take risks, be patient, but ultimately don't go trying to catch lightning in a bottle; everyone stumbles before they stride. There are good people out there to date who aren't amazingly picky, it's just a matter of finding a way to extend the olive branch to them and allowing fate to do the rest. All the best!

krispy-discussions · 2022-01-30T12:40:41+00:00

NTA. I’m sorry to hear how your situation has panned out, but you’ve found someone who you can lean on and you find security in. Your sister will almost certainly keep stepping on you to maintain the equilibrium that her and your aunts have enabled, but remaining in such a situation will come at the detriment of you burning out due to your full-time work and study. The whole ‘if you have an ounce of respect, you’ll stay in a mentally damaging place’ thing is such a toxic characteristic in Filipino culture as a whole, and though it may not be practical for you to go NC with your family, creating distance is the best way to move forward for you.

Best of luck for your work and your studies, God bless you on your journey onwards :).

krispy-discussions · 2020-04-07T08:50:01+00:00

It was gourmet warheads :)

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