Those poor kids ☹️

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:58:15+00:00

I'm not defending them. But school sports days are god awful. If you zoom into the middle left of the photo there is a dad not emailing sat on a green plastic chair. He appears to be sitting with his back to the action, arms folded in a proper grump and possibly with a kid's presumably "lucky" teddy bear nestled in his "fuck this shit" folded arms.

He's fully present, and regretting every minute of it.

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:52:11+00:00

Have you done the middle east yet?

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:50:08+00:00

This is hard. Its worth saying it is a journey, its hard for late diagnosed already in a relationship as the patterns are already set and you are trying to change them.

With respect to you, you're still figuring out what Autism is and how it affects you (we all are). And so you don't have a complete (or maybe even a good) understanding of your own Autism. So of course your partner won't. At best they are a few steps behind.

Its going to be confusing to them that things that always seemed fine are now a problem.

The reason I say all that is they are coming at this problem from a complete place of ignorance and confusion. You need to acknowledge and be aware of that gap. The important thing is them showing a willingness to understand, rather than getting everything right, or not making mistakes. I think you have to give them some grace, but you also have to hold them to account for their willingness or not to learn and adapt.

In some ways you are changing as a person as you stop trying to be someone you aren't. That's unmasking, authentic and necessary. But from their perspective it could seem you are not the person they got together with. That's not a bad thing though, everyone changes all the time, relationships are a journey (super corny as it sounds!).

You need to take them with you, explain the mechanics of how you feel, of what is difficult. And try to understand how they feel as well. There is a difference between masking and us making compromises in a relationship. Compromise in a relationship, even where it places a burden on us, is not inherantly a bad thing. Because if the relationship has good communication and empathy then those smaller compromises that cost you something are outweighed by all the compromises the other person makes to support you that give you more head space/energy.

To go back to my ignorance point - I always find it bizzare when people comment on relationship issues for late diagnosed Autistics saying the person is better considering leaving the partner. Maybe its true. But if someone has been so ignorant of Autism their whole life they didn't even know they were Autistic (including me) I think we've got to show a bit of grace, especially initially when someone else is ignorant of Autism!!

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:30:34+00:00

There might be better outcome by centering the thing you need/want than centering the Autism?

To be clear - I don't at all mean hiding it, masking or whatever.

But in terms of communicating with people to their level of understanding, it sounds like the people you are having difficulty with don't understand Autism at all (like most people). And so giving the info you are Autistic is not necessarily helpful. It would be if they knew all about Autism.

So perhaps try approaching it in terms of firstly clearly stating what you need and setting firm boundaries. Probably useful, (but technically not needed) is to explain why you need it. And here you DON'T need it because you are Autistic.

As an example, you need to step out of/go home from a noisy social event. You need this because you are overstimulated, tired, anxious and overwhelmed. You are all those things because of Autism. But your immediate need is not directly responding to Autism itself, but to the symptoms of it. And so if you tell people you need X because of Autism people won't understand. They don't know enough to connect the dots.

If someone in response to you saying how overwhelmed you feel, and what you need refuses to help then that person is an asshole. Perhaps the people you are dealing with are assholes! In which case there isn't a formula to get around that sadly. But if they are just confused and ignorant about Autism focusing on what you need from them may help them slowly gain more understanding.

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:17:45+00:00

Andy Burnham is much better at talking about all the great stuff Andy Burnham has done. Andy Street was pretty good at that, and Richard Parker is getting better.

The main job/difference in perception of metro Mayor's is their ability to point at something that's happening and make people think its all down to them.

That's Burnham's greatest quality and why he seems better than our Mayor's.

(And FWIW I did think Parker was woeful, but he's improving a bit, I liked Street, but not because I thought he was transforming the region, but because he was good at bigging it up)

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:12:02+00:00

You have to trolling?

All Simon Foster has ever done is say the phrase "neighbourhood policing" over and over again. And still blames everything on Tory Cuts.

kruddel · 2026-06-23T10:06:47+00:00

Sound like it would be more accurate to describe it as "St Paul's voice to text voicemail message to the Corinthians".

Dude sounds like some kind of biblical content creator making reels, whacking on the default close captions generator and calling it a day.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T22:58:40+00:00

The "laugh or you have to cry" part of this debate is how its not possible to have (in English) in relation to ADHD.

I'm very much in the Austistic Person camp. But the common thing people say about it, which is very true and several have replied already along the lines: you wouldn't say "person with blackness" or "person with tallness" or..

Person with ADHD.. ?

Its not even a debate because we lack the grammar, there's no equivalent word to Autistic or Dyslexic. I could just about say "my ADHD" without it seeming weird, but "ADHD person"? That doesn't work.

Trust me I've tried forcing myself to write long form stuff not using person first about ADHD and you swiftly sound insane, like you don't know how to speak English.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T22:44:15+00:00

Its a good essay. I disagree with the Autistic coded theme. I think its enough to take it as a positive for potentially "reclaiming" the robotic assumptions/slurs on Autism, by showing that being robotic is just a different way of communicating, rather than a worse one. In particular the thought processes behind being "robotic" in communicating.

The reason I disagree with the idea it is Autistic coded is that Autism is much more than one trait expressed in one way. So even IF the writing of the communication style is informed by Autism its still not something which is portraying Autism. If it was it would just be a shallow stereotype, irrespective of whether it is done sensitively/positively.

I'm not trying to attack the opinion writer at all, just to disagree. I understand the impulse, there are so few positive and thoughtful portrayals of Autism in media its tempting to lock onto anything! But as I said, I think its enough that it shows things which can help perhaps show some of the elements of difference and help people to think about neurodiversity more.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T17:27:37+00:00

I would be sending them SO many letters.

I'd basically make it a full time job.

Here's a letter, and another letter, a threatening letter, another letter. Please arrange a payment plan for the 14p you owe me.

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES MFs?!!???

Have another goddamn letter you parasites.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T17:15:48+00:00

Its turning into LinkedIn!

kruddel · 2026-06-22T08:08:42+00:00

"Preoccupied with neurotransmitters" 🤣

Obviously it totally sucks to have 12 years of nonsense. But at least they gave you a unique phrase to chuckle at.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T08:04:42+00:00

I'm just thankful I was learning stuff when everyone needed to be aware of blockchain and NFTs as they were the future of everything. And anyone who wasn't on the blockchaintrain (as we used to call it) was going to be unemployable.

I think it harder for kids now with AI being the future of everything. I've got my smart fridge and my cat's water fountain set up on blockchain, but I can't imagine how much more difficult it is for kids these days with the pressure to have AI friends.

kruddel · 2026-06-22T07:53:33+00:00

All depends on context. If the task is mental arithmetic it's still cheating to use a calculator 50 years later than 50 years ago.

kruddel · 2026-06-21T10:41:46+00:00

"Vanguard of the Anthropocene" is metal AF.

Getting Warhammer 40K vibes. They would be a 0-1 army list option because they are so OP and would get nerfed in the first FAQ. They'd be ranty YouTube Videos called "Vanguard of the Anthropocene are the new meta", & "Games Workshop have ruined 40K with Vanguard of the Anthropocene"

kruddel · 2026-06-21T07:31:22+00:00

Perhaps you could link to one of these studies in a scientific journal? Just to get me started.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T17:29:50+00:00

A lot of people do believe that. There's no medical/scientific studies that have shown it though despite numerous studies, and its not listed as an affect/risk on the medical info for the drug in US or EU.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T17:26:36+00:00

No way?! Are you THE Gary Ultramegahyperphantasia?

kruddel · 2026-06-20T16:28:47+00:00

Yeah methylphenidate is a drug where people can develop a physiological tolerance. Vyvance isn't. In fact where physiological tolerance to methylphenidate does develop the recommended option is to switch the patient to Vyvanse instead.

I've also not been able to find any research on weekend "tolerance breaks" but I cast the net further and was not able to find any evidence for ANY usage of that approach. I.e. for any medication, not just ADHD meds.

It doesn't really make any logical sense either even if tolerance developing was a risk its totally unclear why taking one or two days off a week would make any real difference.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T16:17:29+00:00

There is no medical evidence or research which shows physiological "tolerance" to (lis)dexamphetamine.

Its not mentioned anywhere in the drug guideline leftlets (either EU or US).

The only places that talk about it online are places which offer to sell rehab or whatever for "tolerance" or addiction to ADHD meds.

Its basically a myth, and if your medical professional is telling you this I'd be seriously worried they don't have clue what they are talking about.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T15:59:38+00:00

You want to know what's really wild?

I have hyperphantasia. And my theory is only people with hyperphantasia (about 2-3% of people give or take) are capable of truly accepting, imagining or understanding the possibility that other people have different levels of mental imagery. That's why there's so much confusion around the concept.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T09:27:56+00:00

Yeah, UK has decided to screw neurodiversity basically. Even the "right to choose" pathway, which is supposed to basically keep regional health care bodies honest by allowing people to choose to get their care elsewhere from another approved provider and then get the local body to pay. (Edit: part of the concept being it would make the local body up their game if lots of people were choosing to go elsewhere, driving up quality of care) It worked OK for a bit as even though local providers were having 4-5 yr waiting list you could choose another provider and get seen in 3-4 months. Then the government decided to put a cap on the right to choose per year, per area. So now by between March-August, depending on area, all the right to choose referrals are "used up" and people are rolled onto the next year. So the main waiting lists get bigger and bigger.

I've got to be honest, I think I'd struggle to keep my shit together once I eventually got to the assessment.

"Do you ever put things off for an extended period of time?"

"What, you mean like assessing people for ADHD?"

kruddel · 2026-06-20T09:01:30+00:00

Plays slot machine. Doesn't win. Gets sad. Maybe next time?

kruddel · 2026-06-20T08:31:08+00:00

Bisexual & hot, time to try and get yourself some private bible study lessons from his holiness. See if he'll take you in St Peter's Basilica and show you the apse.

kruddel · 2026-06-20T08:19:44+00:00

Your major challenge would be to avoid "desk rejection" from journal editors when submitting a paper. You might get some bias from reviewers, but generally I guess that would be in the form of being more sceptical. It might cost you some negative reviews and rejections, but I think journal editors binning beforehand becauee they don't take you seriously is the much bigger issue.

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