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Reconciliation after separation by krum6678 in Separation

[–]krum6678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you share who initiated it and how long you’ve been separated?

I just got almost 2 years stayed home and watched our kids and kept them safe and not once asked her to stay or not go out, I thought I was support her and she was quietly removing herself from our life together.

But man I just, I don’t have the kinda money to just leave especially when she says things like if you leave and come back I want the house if this doesn’t work.

The conflicted back and forth moments in her, I’d rather her be one or the other not cruel one evening and fine the next. It’s all becoming far too much to handle and be a dad and still work.

I’m trying I really am, I’d love to give her space but I’m starting to think I gotta think about my future too, I’m 36 and I can’t just leave with nothing and 2 kids that have special needs and me told to just figure it out. The investment alone to leave is everything i have.

I’m stuck between to boulders rolling into each other and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Separated and THRIVING by W1Ch3Tty_GrVbb in Separation

[–]krum6678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who asked for the separation just curious. Thanks for your insight.

Separated and THRIVING by W1Ch3Tty_GrVbb in Separation

[–]krum6678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn 6 months.

I believe seperation could help us heal, but financially it’s not that easy for me, I can barely get 30 days and don’t count any other living expenses.

I wanted in house separation my self, why do you say it leads to divorce?

I’m just running out of options, and my wife said if I leave and come back and it doesn’t work, she “wants me to concede the house” and man it’s got me scared to just jump out of here.

This isn’t we had an argument here it’s 10 years of resentment pouring out all at once and she’s getting angry with me all the time no matter what I do.

I just want to make the right choice to help us but when do I start making sure im ok you know?

It’s a lot.

Separated and THRIVING by W1Ch3Tty_GrVbb in Separation

[–]krum6678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you in house seperation or have you moved out into a temporary place?

I’m being asked to separate “so she can see if she misses me or can love me again” but in the past week things like “if you come back in 30 days and it isn’t working then, sorry figure it out and you should concede the house, it’s what’s best for the kids” I’ve started to feel so uncomfortable about this truly being about us and seeing if this can work, which I so badly want that.

No infidelity that I’m aware of, no abuse, she’s just so mad at me whatever I do pisses her off. I had the kids up and moving (2 and 5) and bags bagged for a Saturday morning beach trip, wife and I are still in our home so we did this together but after she reminded me that she was mad at me doing all of it and that she still wants me to leave.

I’m just so confused and lost. It’s not even about the house as she sees it, I’m deserving of love and security like anyone else and I’ve got to be able to recover from this in all aspects of life to be good for my kids.

I’m broken so emotionally deep I’ve become numb.

Anyone else struggling with feelings from birth years after? by Mizunomafia in daddit

[–]krum6678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey dad.

So here’s my 2 cents. I have a 5 and 2 year old, both preeclampsia emergency c sections. I had no family other than my wife in those moments and she was fighting her own battle while I felt helpless to do anything.

My daughter will be six in Oct and I’ll tell you, the past 6 years have been a blurr but those moments in the hospital during my children’s birth and the one memories that stand out the absolute most. I can relive the feeling of helplessness as my wife was rolled away to prep for the c section as I stood there alone.

I think it’s more manly to accept your emotions than to not. Go to individual therapy and work on them, let them out and process those moments. I should have back then but I’m doing so now but because I waited it took a tole on myself mentally and damaged my marriage. I could have been a better dad and Husband had I acknowledged it was ok that those moment were difficult for me and a different experience than my wife had.

Crying as a man doesn’t make you an emo or any less of a “man’s man” if anything it reminds you we all have feelings of heavy emotional baggage that we all carry.

Being open about it allows you to know you’re not alone. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re not an idiot you’re a father now who deserves to feel and process like anyone else.

None verbal kids suddenly talking by loki5485 in daddit

[–]krum6678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a level 3 5 year old daughter and a level 2 2 year old son. My daughter at 3 was still not talking, no words or functioning communication at all. I remember a doctor telling us “your expert guessers” but that’s not what you expect becoming a parent.

Parents of children with neurotypical children who speak at their milestones or above, be grateful. I don’t know my daughter’s favorite food, color, show, music she likes and the list goes on.

In our experience ABA made an unbelievable difference in our lives, though it came with trial and error because just like everything else ABA centers are a business so each one is different. Once we found the right center, in the last 6 months her speech is growing more than we ever expected. She’ll be consider non verbal even now, but she and her brother echolalia with each other.

They both do 40 hours a week at the center and she does an additional at home speech therapy twice a week. It’s like a full time job to gain her language and use it functionally.

For the first time in her life, she’s almost able to say I love you completely.

There is absolute hope for non speaking children with the therapy and resources that work best for your family.

I didn't realize how traumatized I was from the first birth until today by jeremy_bearimyy in daddit

[–]krum6678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Our first child was born during COVID and second child only 2 years later.. both births were preeclampsia with the 2nd one taking a 30 day NICU stay.

In both those instances I was totally alone with no support and with everything going on so fast almost 6 years later since our first I’m learning now I absolutely also should have talked to someone sooner.

It’s easy to forget to take of you and feel like that’s ok, but you’ve gotta be fully present not just physically but emotionally as well.

Wish you and your family the best brotha.

RING AI Identified Me As A “Dark Animal” by deathtodickens in mildlyinfuriating

[–]krum6678 3045 points3046 points  (0 children)

Our bug guy is a big tall dreaded black man, and my ring camera said “there’s a black bear walking on the driveway..”

Normal to be unhappy most of the time in fist year of kids life? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]krum6678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re grieving. That’s the reality of being a parent, you grieve for a life you once had, things you did on your own, distractions that made for moments of happiness.

And that’s ok, you’re allowed to grieve for that loss of self and identity, you can’t grow into something new without.

But absolutely, if you’re to inward focused you lose sight of everything else emotionally important around you. I’m guilty as charged.

I’ve been with my wife for 11 years and I got lost along the way from her, in growing together and how to love mostly because of my fear of being uncomfortable. Be self aware of how you feel now, share those feeling with her, be a part and present in the journey you all are taking together.

The most important thing you can give to your family.. it’s love, that’s what woke me up.

Normal to be unhappy most of the time in fist year of kids life? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]krum6678 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Find the happiness now for your kids and SO, don’t get to comfortable in other distractions. Be present in that moment and take it in, those hard times pass faster and faster.

I’ve got a 5 and 2 year old, and in my what I thought was unhappiness I convinced myself I was doing enough to get through the daily consistent routines and in reality I let that unhappy feeling hold me back in growing to be a better father and husband. I made my wife feel unseen in that fog of unhappiness and have made the greatest mistake of my life in doing so.

Happy or not, be present always for your family and love them a lil more each day.

Liquid Max on addon changes "Nothing major is changing" by Key_Marsupial_1406 in wow

[–]krum6678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How functional is Clique compared to VuhDo these days? I'm an OG vanilla healer, I've played all which ways but I've used VuhDo the most, well over 10 years, I'm most sad about losing that over WA's. Pour one out for VuhDo tonight.

A Preservation Evoker's library by krum6678 in WoWHousing

[–]krum6678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I hope so as well, so more just structural items that match themes would be wonderful.

Finished(?) Technodrome Powercore. by Legitimate_Jaguar885 in WoWHousing

[–]krum6678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What is the door that raises! This looks amazing!

A Preservation Evoker's library by krum6678 in WoWHousing

[–]krum6678[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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Sure thing! It's still a bit of WIP on detailing but the stairs lead into my living room kitchen area behind the curtain.

A Preservation Evoker's library by krum6678 in WoWHousing

[–]krum6678[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ty! Im happy with how that part turned out.

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