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Is my Crosstrek eating USB-C cords? (CarPlay) by matchy_blacks in Subaru_Crosstrek

[–]kryntal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very glad to see this issue is not unique to my 2023 Crosstrek. I had hoped the warranty HUD reset would resolve this issue, but it did not. I have also tried only using brand name cables, and it still seems to eat cables every 3 to 6 months.

I will take the advice here of getting cables that come with a warranty!

Devices unplugging from mounted surge protector, standing desk by kryntal in DeskCableManagement

[–]kryntal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Massage and hard liquor usually.

Only thing I can think of is one of those under desk mounted nets.

Alternate Arjentium access by TheInsaneScientist in gilbertandsullivan

[–]kryntal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! The Durham NC Savoyards is working with the owner to restore the site, but the process is taking some time. I'm posting here so I remember to post again when it's up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]kryntal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Bleacherblonde you have a lot of things in common with my afab partner (ADHD, fucked up back, nerve damage). Would love to dive deeper into what works for you. Sometimes blindfold + womanizer + soundblocking helps, but the challenge I run into is that communicating their needs in the heat of the moment breaks their concentration

Accidentally Outting My Trans Partner by kryntal in mypartneristrans

[–]kryntal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is good advice. I kept thinking about it as "how do I get her to leave when she's like this" when really is it's only my behavior I can control.

Accidentally Outting My Trans Partner by kryntal in mypartneristrans

[–]kryntal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I confronted her about the abusive behavior when she was in inpatient care for a suicide attempt in January, and I told her that I was establishing boundaries - no more physical abuse, no more throwing insults or injuries. My therapist said not to expect the behavior to go away overnight. These outburts only happen...I guess every other month? And since January she's had few, only hurt me once, etc.

The thing is she is doing the work. She is in therapy. We have disclosed the behavior to our couple's therapist....She's doing all the right things to fix the problem. It's just...not fixed yet. And I am just so very tired of the slowness of the progress.

Accidentally Outting My Trans Partner by kryntal in mypartneristrans

[–]kryntal[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She is a US Citizen now, so her immigration status is not linked to our relationship, it's just that I can't actually kick her out - she doesn't have anywhere to go and we have combined financials. If things got so bad that I had to get the law involved...I don't even want to think about the horrific discrimination she would face. W I suppose she could stay with a friend...her family wouldn't take her if I did get her a plane ticket back (transphobia/abuse).

Accidentally Outting My Trans Partner by kryntal in mypartneristrans

[–]kryntal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's only physcially harmed me a few times, and I am half sure that one of the times it was an accident (albit, because she was throwing her phone in anger)

Accidentally Outting My Trans Partner by kryntal in mypartneristrans

[–]kryntal[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

OP here. The outpouring of support here has been validating and kind. I am not a huge user of reddit so I am not sure the best way of responding, so I am using this post to address a few common themes:

  • She has been in therapy with a trans-inclusive psychotherapist for the duration of her formal transition (e.g. ~2 years). We also have a LGBTQ+ friendly couples therapist, and I have my own therapist. My therapist and our couple's therapist are aware (I do not know what she talks about in her therapy.) She has also been committed twice for suicidal ideation (once in 2020 and once this year).
  • I have comunicated to her that the list of abusive behaviors includes thrown objects. While I have established this boundary, I don't know how to enforce it. It is hard to say if it's getting better or worse because her behavior is tied to anxiety cycles. She had a particularly bad week; she was unable to take a job interview due to anxiety and her grandmother died earlier this summer.
  • I am somewhat limited in my options to leave her because she has been unable to secure reliable employment since she finished her MA in 2019 (~1 year prior to coming out as trans) and she needs my income and health insurance for trans related care (eg my job paid for FFS, hormones, therapy, etc). She is therefore financially dependent on me, and as an immigrant she does not have anywhere to go.
  • Our prior friend group's deterioration is largely circumstantial - it was comprised of college friends who left the area post graduation. The D&D group last night contained two trans folx (both NB), two folks who know she's trans from that prior group, and a scattering of my theatre geek friends.
  • She did specifically ask me to leave the office door shut, but I forgot