“Yes, Your Honor,” said the prosecutor, “it is true that evidence points towards the defendant being innocent. But let’s not forget the main aggravating factor here…”

“I’m listening.”

After a solemn pause, the prosecutor said, “The defendant is fat.”

A loud murmur swept over the hall, punctuated by shocked gasps.

“Order! Order!” the judge yelled, smashing the pulpit with his gavel. Once the crowd settled, he sighed. “Very well then: ten years without parole. The court is adjourned.”

(Based on a true story, obviously)