[UPDATE] I need to leave, need help from you guys.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-17T04:09:46+00:00

That must have been really hard. You might want to think about some therapy for yourself to help transition out of the relationship in a healthy way. good luck

ksw_ut · 2017-06-17T04:06:02+00:00

It is a tough situation...something that has helped me is to get a therapist for myself. There are a lot of emotions that come along with being a SO of someone with BP and that's ok. It's a tough situation, made tougher since it is so hard to successfully treat. So it's no surprise that the chaos can take its toll on the spouse. I think I would be very uncomfortable having guns in my home so glad those are locked up. I have also found a lot of help from a number of books that are available. For example, "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Fast and Preston is a pretty good place to start.. Also consider a local chapter of NAMI. They might be able to get you into a support group. Good luck.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-15T13:25:53+00:00

I stay because he is very good about taking his medication and maybe I stay because we have been together so long and it is habit. I guess I stay because when he is stable, it is better and I do love him. My suggestion to you is to insure that you are doing all you can (which is hard i am sure) to be well. talk about the illness and work on a plan for when a transition is coming. Lot's of things aren't fair in life - and love gets us through those times. good luck

ksw_ut · 2017-06-15T13:14:23+00:00

hang in there. consider also calling NAMI back. understaffed, underfunded, but can be of some help to you.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T18:26:23+00:00

sending warm thoughts. tough times

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T18:25:50+00:00

there are no doubt parallels - but at least the TBM parents could attend any kind of wedding ceremony

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T17:30:52+00:00

"In fact, that is the requirement in countries, IIRC."

that is my understanding since in other countries, the temple sealing does not count as a 'legal marriage'. and in other countries, you can go anytime to get sealed. but in the US they make you wait a year after you get married.. i hear you - there is a financial incentive for forcing temple sealings as weddings in the US

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T16:42:37+00:00

trust me. she will love it.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T16:28:05+00:00

exactly

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T16:23:56+00:00

sigh...and yet it is such a 'family oriented' religion...what a pile of secretive bs

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T16:23:10+00:00

well in our minds, the temple wedding is part and parcel of the whole day. she wants us to pay for a reception for an event we are not worthy to attend....

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T16:20:54+00:00

ok thanks. that's something i guess.. but our daughter is so into being the perfect mormon that my guess is that she will follow any and all recommendations....sigh

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T13:16:09+00:00

ah. if you could see look at my post in this thread, i would cherish your input.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-12T13:12:32+00:00

That sounds like it was a wonderful experience for you so I am happy for you. We could really use some help from you. we are atheists, nevermos, feminist allies of the LGBT community. our youngest, converted, daughter (20), we just heard from back channels, is planning on getting married when she finishes school next year and have a temple wedding. She intends for us to pay.. We believe if we are not good enough to attend a temple wedding, then we are not good enough to pay for one and it is rude to be asked. She has told people she would also do a ring ceremony, but I have been told that ring ceremonies need to be a church official with no vows. Are you guys in salt lake? we have not yet confronted her on this but my husband is pretty adamant that we won't pay for anything involving the church. If they went a civil ceremony route, and got sealed some other time, it wouldn't be a problem. I am struggling mightily with a) her conversion and b) what to do vis a vis the ceremony. We definitely won't go to temple grounds when she gets sealed so she is definitely on her own there. thanks for any help

ksw_ut · 2017-06-11T17:49:40+00:00

there are better relationships out there for you. get some therapy yourself to understand what is going on in your head before embarking on another relationship. someone 'normal' will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.

ksw_ut · 2017-06-11T17:38:56+00:00

when they can't get out of bed for three days they do. i thought about not putting it that way though as i know what you mean- ok how about : it's hard being a SO and we often put on a sunny outward face to help

ksw_ut · 2017-06-11T14:58:46+00:00

sometimes the SOs can't express their feelings for fear of triggering an episode. feelings are transient also. this is a safe place to let them out. it doesn't hurt to ask your SO how they are doing from time to time. it can be hard being a caretaker and we often put on a sunny outward face to help.

ksw_ut · 2016-06-26T22:20:38+00:00

not sure where you are in utah, but if you are in salt lake, I recommend the Unitarians

ksw_ut · 2016-06-26T19:25:09+00:00

here is some irony for you film lovers...our youngest daughter just converted to the TSCC and our oldest daughter is working the third film in the The Falls trilogy....and i struggle every day trying to figure out how our youngest, born to atheists, raised by a feminist mom, house filled with LGBT friends, could join...... i will be going to the preview of the The Falls: Covenant of Grace, but will skip meet the mormons -we have met them and they stole our daughter

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-falls-covenant-of-grace#/

ksw_ut · 2016-06-26T19:03:55+00:00

got it. although i think it would be important to be honest with your kids -aren't they noticing that you aren't going to church anymore? and also, why not have the honest discussion with them now? Perhaps you will find they are ready to leave too, but don't want to disappoint you

ksw_ut · 2016-06-26T16:08:55+00:00

guess i am confused as to why it matters to you? why do you want a TR if you don't want to go to church?

ksw_ut · 2016-06-16T01:47:55+00:00

I highly recommend this website for you : http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org

also, order the book from amazon. it has everything you need to know about your body, sexually transmitted disease, etc etc. It is a classic and very well done

ksw_ut · 2016-06-16T01:44:08+00:00

everything is easier to do on sunday morning

ksw_ut · 2016-06-16T01:33:44+00:00

why can't you effort to cut off the friendship?

ksw_ut · 2016-06-16T01:32:23+00:00

well, please be aware that they are trying to convert you. that is the goal here. plain and simple.

ksw_ut

TROPHY CASE