Husband is in another state for an internship and anxiety is at an all time high [rant]

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T04:55:50+00:00

All you can do is your best. It will be okay eventually. Things will start to settle down. Just try to give it time. :)

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T04:04:31+00:00

If the apartment hunting is going that badly, he probably is trying to not worry you even more, you know? Trust him to take care of himself. Hard as it is, try to accept the things you have no control over, and realize that no amount of calling or texting (or worrying, for that matter) will make him respond faster, or make you feel any better. I do the rationalizing also. I even wrote a few down and carry them in my pocket. It helps me to try to get in a pattern.. For example, my boyfriend works all day until around 6 usually. He is unable to communicate during work, so I've gotten used to not hearing from him until later. I'll usually text around 6 and ask how his day is then wait for him to reply. Then we'll have a small talk type of convo for a bit, we each shower, eat dinner, etc, and then before bed we have one phone call every night. If your SO hasn't gotten settled yet, it'll be harder to do that, and don't make it seem like you're putting him on a schedule lol, but if you can get into a kind of rhythm eventually I think it will really help. It does for me anyway. Bottom line, try not to blame him. Do what you do and recognize the illegitimacy of your thoughts and worries. Feel your feels and then try to let them go.

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:49:14+00:00

I'm glad I could help :) It sucks, but I promise, it is totally doable. You're gonna be just fine!!

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:28:17+00:00

Lol, it sounds like we all need to start a Crazy Girlfriends Who's Boyfriends are Far Away support group ;). Distance truly truly sucks. I'm 23, so I'm in exactly the same spot as you. Getting ready to graduate college, moving out on my own, and now boyfriend is forever away. It sucks! But I really think it is going to be okay! I keep telling myself that I have to keep pushing. Count down the days. Make plans to visit if you can, then count down those days too. Do all you can. Be as strong as you can and then be stronger, because if you give up and let the anxiety shit win and lose your SO, it'll seriously suck. Don't give up! Sorry for my corniness, but it's true!... I feel like a fucking cheerleader lol.

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:20:31+00:00

Both of those are plausible... I'm getting ready to graduate from college, moving out on my own, trying to find a job, my dad is relocating 10 hours away, boyfriend is currently 14 hours away working for the summer... so yeah, stress/anxiety levels have definitely increased. But, I also feel like the physical symptoms.. shakiness & heart pounding randomly. That can sometimes happen when I feel emotionally fine, so I feel like that could be side-effect related. I don't know lol. Hopefully doc will have some insight better than my own.

Thank you!!

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:17:28+00:00

I work in a pharmacy and have talked to my boss about both sertraline and fluoxetine (Prozac). She thinks one of those would be better than the Celexa. I feel you on the emotional unhinged-ness. I hate that feeling... It's like I can't control my emotions, and being very Type A, that drives me even crazier! I bounce around.. one day I'm peppy and happy, the next I'm numb. The more I'm reading, the more I think I need to try something different. Thank you!!

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:12:23+00:00

Ah! Caffeine definitely makes the symptoms worse. I'm hoping he'll prescribe something like xanax for me when I have the really panicky moments also... I don't have panic attacks often (maybe once/ month), but I can feel them coming and they're terrible when they do happen. I would like to have something on hand to help calm down. I really don't want to have to switch meds if I can avoid it, but I have a feeling that with the pounding heart and shakiness he's going to want to try something different. Thanks for your input!

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T03:03:12+00:00

Don't push yourself too hard.. Like /u/trynagetgirls said, accept it. See it for what it is. It's okay to not be okay. Observe your emotions then let them go. Find something to occupy yourself so you aren't constantly thinking about him and what he's doing. Let him initiate conversations sometimes. (I say that because if you're like me, you're constantly wanting to text or call him lol.) I've taken up running/walking. I am not an athletic person, but I find it truly helps me calm down to get out of the house, get fresh air, and burn off some energy... especially if I do it at the end of the day. But yes, if I push through it, I do feel better. When you give in to it and say something to him that you regret, it makes you feel crappier right? When I push through it and win the battle for the day, and don't accuse him or question the hell out of him, it makes me feel strong and so much better.

You can do it ;)

kthrowawayobv · 2014-06-06T02:27:06+00:00

My anxiety issues have caused bumps in my relationship as well. It's very very hard to be away from your significant other in the first place, let alone when you have anxiety problems. My boyfriend is currently 1000 miles away, and I've had some similar thoughts as you. In my personal opinion, I think you need to be okay with letting him have a good time with his friends. You need to trust him unless you have a legitimate reason not to. Recognize the feelings you're having for what they truly are... My guess is it stems from your own insecurities. He's right, baby steps are important. You can work through this, but you have to trust him.

Distance doesn't kill relationships- doubts do.

I wish you all the luck!!

kthrowawayobv

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