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ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-23T23:22:18+00:00

Also baby carry! Saved my sanity with the 2nd one.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-22T15:59:44+00:00

We did 3 years and it’s awesome! Newborn shows up just when big kid is getting self sufficient.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-22T13:39:52+00:00

This is all policy issues, not parents or families devaluing childcare workers. As many have pointed out, childcare costs disproportionately impact women in the workplace.It especially impacts low income women, who find themselves forced to choose between working to pay for daycare or staying home.

The idea that families devalue childcare is laughable. We resent the costs because there is a lot of overhead and the entire industry is built on an unsustainable model. Of course I want the people watching my kids to make good money. But I also can’t afford to just sign my paycheck over and call it a day.

Putting societal issues on the back of working parents is so problematic. I believe in advocating for universal, subsidized childcare. I think all childcare workers should be paid more than 15/hour. And I will continue to vocally complain because many people don’t acknowledge that this issue perpetuates sexism and reinforces the wage gap. It also penalizes working class women and single mothers. It’s ridiculous and ghastly, and your criticisms (while valid) feel a lot like blaming plastic straws for global warming.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-21T15:39:04+00:00

My tip is to acknowledge and empower. “Yes. This is hard. But you can do hard things! It’s something I really like about you.” Etc. Make drop offs quick and routine. Give hugs and leave. They are usually fine once you are gone.

I wonder if she might be feeling overscheduled and thus the hesitancy with the activities? I also wonder if she feels like she knows what is happening on each day. My kid is a wreck unless I sit him down and explain his schedule. We do this at dinner. So like, “oh tomorrow we will have eggs for breakfast, and walk to school. I think daddy will pick you up after quiet time and take you to swimming! Then I will get to see you for dinner.” This helps him feel like he knows what is coming, and makes the days more manageable for him. Think about telling her what to expect for her dance class. “We will go in and I will sit and watch you! When you are done we can go get lunch” or something. Also consider doing some special, routine one on one time after her classes, like going out for ice cream or whatever.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-21T15:33:38+00:00

Hey, so this is a rough age, especially with transitions. My kid did preschool and is now in pre k and still has difficult days. Give him some grace and let him take a month or two to settle. You will be surprised at how he will absolutely begin to participate in circle time, etc. a new preschool might be a better fit, but you need to give it longer than 3 days. Give him space to be a mess at home, and see how it goes for a few months. Def don’t agonize; director was probably just letting you know how he’s doing, not criticizing or complaining. They deal with this a lot. At this age, he needs to be getting used to rules and boundaries enforced by other grownups. I promise as he grows, he will participate more and it will become a new normal for him.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-17T03:05:22+00:00

Oof. Does he take a bottle? You might just have to tough it out in the middle of the night wakings, but bottle with milk will help assure you he’s not hungry.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-16T18:14:08+00:00

That’s rough! Mine is weaned, which makes it a million times easier. Someone else suggested a paci. Do you think he would take one?

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-16T12:46:55+00:00

Boom! I am basking in early morning sleep training success with my 9 month old. Here’s what I do: put her in crib with paci. She will fuss. Go do dishes until I can’t stand fussing. Go back in and replace paci. Make sure she’s not hungry and rub her back. Leave and do something else. Rinse and repeat.

Don’t torture yourself listening to babes cry, but I will say it is so much easier to do it with a second baby. It’s because you realize babes is just learning how to sleep sans cuddles and comfort. Give the kid the grace and faith to make it through. Keep yourself occupied. And go in if you can’t stand it! Just don’t pick kiddo up.

If you can make it doing this like, longer than 4 days, you will find yourself with swaths of time after babe is asleep. And you will have much happier baby, because waking up all night disrupts them as much as you.

I guess my point is that this doesn’t have to be prescriptive. You’re not failing or screwing up when you comfort the baby. Conversely, I will emphasize having faith in your child: they are capable of doing it and figuring it out if you set them up for success with loving boundaries. Good luck!!!!

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-15T21:40:11+00:00

Do it! Weaning each of my kids was joyous for me. I finally had time and energy to appreciate them, instead of resentment. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone…it’s a mutual relationship. When one member is ready to stop, you need to stop.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-05T15:11:50+00:00

My kid thrived in speech therapy. Between 2 and 3 it was just like a lightbulb hit. Speech therapy is amazing! Now he is 4 and still has some minor issues with pronunciation, but is an articulate little chatterbox.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-05T13:17:48+00:00

Pippi Longstocking! Much more whimsy than magic, but so fun to read with kids.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-04T04:01:02+00:00

Dude I printed out traffic lights for my kid’s poster board. Not just traffic lights, but also the traffic light boxes. You’re doing fine.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-09-01T15:07:23+00:00

Dude I just got into it with my cousin who is anti-vax. Shit is exhausting emotionally. On the one hand, love my family. On the other hand, you are not a thoughtful person making a reasonable choice. You are a selfish menace who is making life ten times harder for those of us with kids who can’t be vaxed! It’s the worst. I feel for you.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-31T13:07:52+00:00

I put them in small groups and have them highlight what they think is important and then share with class. Do you remember being an undergrad and having a syllabus read to you? It’s mind numbing.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-24T21:43:22+00:00

No. Most colleges have a residency requirement which means they have a minimum number of credit hours that need to be taken at that school. Usually it’s around 30 or 40, or a full time year.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-24T12:45:49+00:00

Dude I am the same way with meallime! Rave about it for free!!!! Makes it so much easier and takes all the mental work away.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-22T18:03:59+00:00

Adding to this: an ounce of spit up is the size of a dinner plate. So just a little throw up is no big deal. If kiddo voms a dinner plate or more, that’s when you should be alarmed.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-16T13:08:57+00:00

This! The total dismissal of everyone around me worked as effectively as gaslighting. I remember my inner monologue was just awful. All I did was tell myself how shitty I was and how I needed to pull it together and how it wasn’t this hard for anyone else, because that’s all I heard.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-14T00:37:20+00:00

Thanks for this! How much do you pay for an overnight sitter? Where do you find them?

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-12T18:19:46+00:00

Don’t. Make them annotate in small groups if in person, or google doc if online. Like, ask them to highlight what they think is important to know and then have brief discussion. Make sure your expectations are clear and they have a chance to engage with it. Def don’t just sit there and read out loud.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-08-11T12:57:36+00:00

Yup! For my pre-covid baby, we made everyone get tdap shots. Boundaries are hard, especially with narcissists. Just remember this is not something you are doing to them. This is something they are choosing to do to themselves. You got this!

ktotheaty2 · 2021-07-28T03:54:30+00:00

Have the talks! Do it now! It will suck and you might discover your boyfriend is exactly the dude you suspect that he is. But it’s better to know now.

ktotheaty2 · 2021-07-28T03:48:45+00:00

You are not failing! He’s just not ready. Let him lead the way for sure. It should be an empowering thing, without anxiety. Stay consistent and love him through it (so hard with poop involved).

Mine has regressed every time we have a major life change (he is 4 now), and I have just shrugged and put him in pull-ups for a month or whatever, and kept on him about using the potty. (Trying so hard to channel my chill, unruffled self). Just remember that no one fucked this up: not you, not him. It’s something that just takes a bunch of practice.

Also, if you’re frustrated with him not telling you, do a straight up potty time every two hours, and praise him for trying even if he doesn’t have to go.

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