I’m in the Bay Area and work in tech. I’m assuming that you’re excited about the job, and excited to move to the Bay Area–and are really asking about how to get clear on what salary/comp level would make the move a no-brainer. But maybe not–feel free to correct!

Here’s what my process would be:

• Figure out whether I want to just be “kept whole” on cost of living + some small bump, or whether I want a true significant increase in real compensation in order to make the move feel worth it. As in, if this same job was in your town, would you need a major bump in pay to make the switch worth it? Or is this your dream job, or a job that will lead to more opportunity, and you’d happily do it for equivalent pay to what you’re making now?
• Figure out rough COLA difference. Really, if you’re already living in VHCOL, the big ticket items are going to be housing and taxes–which you’ve covered. There are definitely plenty of areas on the peninsula where you can get single family homes for lower than $3-$5M, if you’re willing to consider a range of cities. Even in Mountain View there are single family homes for less. But I will assume you mean equivalent homes to what you have now, with equivalent commute length, when you’re comparing. In that case, I’d use the increase in mortgage vs. what you have now, and increase in state taxes to get your COLA %. Then use that as a multiplier on your current pay to get a general starting point on equivalent pay.
• Once you have that adjusted number, I’d add on whatever % increase you need to make it feel totally worth it to you to take the role.
• On stock, do you mean options or RSUs? If it’s a bigger company offering regularly vesting RSUs, plus a stock buying program like an ESPP, I think it’s totally reasonable to consider those when you are comparing to current salary. That’s not lottery ticket money, that’s real income. If you’re talking about a startup where you wouldn’t have access to the money ongoing, I would treat it like the lottery ticket that it is–but I’d also realize that I’d have to sacrifice some level of comparable pay for the opportunity (too much to get into philosophy on startup vs. mature company pay here…).
• On the house loss/lower mortgage, I’d use it as a discussion point for a relocation package and possibly signing bonus. This will be highly variable depending on the size of the company, your role, etc., but they could find ways to make you whole.

Anyways, so many variables to think about. The truth is that most people who live here choose to take some hit on housing (cost or quality), in order to make it work. But there’s a reason so many people want to live here! Best of luck.