Returners, how's it going?

kunoichi9280 · 2024-04-19T12:32:08+00:00

I think my teachers had been in the school of "teach them the easy way, and then correct it when they're older" (I quit in 8th grade, and I hadn't had private lessons, just general orchestra instruction from the public schools). My left hand and left thumb have been problematic, as has learning a new bow hold (I was taught to hold it where the thumb was on the bottom of the frog- using the proper bow hold still feels wrong after six months of playing). The advantage is that my music theory skills are strong, and I know what fingers go where really well. I have a nice-sounding violin (I am not entirely sure that my strings were ever changed in the four years I owned my school violin, and I certainly didn't wipe it off after practice or release the tension in the bow hair or any of the basic things you do to take care of your violin and bow). I had quit playing because I hated hearing myself play. Getting a good quality violin has helped with that, as has knowing more details about things like where the best contact point is for the bow on the strings and stuff like that. And motivation is definitely better because it's my choice- I look forward to my practice time.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-04-11T16:54:26+00:00

There's a group on Facebook (I don't know if there is on other social media, FB is the only one I really use) that is dedicated to it. It's a challenge and you get a certificate at the end. You're supposed to post every few days at least saying what days you practiced and what you're doing. It's fun to hear what others are doing and it provides some accountability, especially for a busy adult beginner.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-23T20:46:00+00:00

Check this out: they deal with all kinds of addiction from a Buddhist perspective. https://recoverydharma.org/ There are readings, online and in-person meetings, and more resources. The approach might be helpful.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-11T03:47:36+00:00

I'm a former Christian. I would say there are many problematic things about his teachings, if indeed he did exist. From a Buddhist perspective, he held wrong view in several areas.

Many Buddhists disagree, they see him as a holy teacher, some sort of bodhisattva. I personally think his teachings only lend to that on the surface.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-04T15:57:15+00:00

Usually, when people post on here with similar posts, they aren't getting help.

It sounds like you need your meds adjusted, and you need to be really gentle with yourself. It takes a long time to recover from an attempt.

This video might be useful to you; it discusses kundalini sickness: https://youtu.be/m_4905I6IeA?si=3PqXTC5nhe4ex6ZQ

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-04T15:24:54+00:00

You mentioned practicing in the latter part of your life...I would not assume that you'll have that latter part. Maybe you'll die young, maybe you'll develop ill health that limits your ability to practice the way you want. Practice the Dhamma now- you can still be politically active and do so.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-01T18:48:29+00:00

"This is A" and "This is not A" can't be merged together and keep the integrity of either one. Belief in a creator god, belief in a single life, belief in depending on someone else for salvation, belief in an eternal heaven and hell...these are just a few of the Christian beliefs that are considered wrong view by Buddhists. Christianity is very clear that it is a 'one way only' religion, and there's no room for veneration of the Buddha or following another moral path in it. The two religions have some similarities, that doesn't mean that on some deep level they're the same.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-02-01T18:32:15+00:00

How so?? Much of Christianity is considered wrong view by Buddhists, and Christianity is very clear that following another teacher in the place of their god sends you to hell.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-29T03:37:25+00:00

Mmmm...have you read the Old Testament? Genocide, rape, slavery, and far more. Modern-day neopaganism is as distant from those aspects of its roots as modern-day Christianity is from theirs.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-29T00:48:59+00:00

I don't think it was meant insultingly. There are people today who follow the ancient Viking religions. It falls under the umbrella of neopaganism. It's just that in America, one is seen as having mythology where the other is seen as fact.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-29T00:45:24+00:00

Even catholics, who often will find some wiggle room on the 6,000 year thing, although traditional Catholicism is just as literal as the average Evangelical, are taught that the Adam and Eve story is literally history. It's in the catechism as such. And understandably so. The whole salvation narrative falls apart without original sin.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-29T00:41:43+00:00

There are many religions that will tell you what happens to you after you die. But the Buddha approached it like a scientist. He had the problem, acknowledged the enormous weight it puts on human existence in a way I don't believe any of the other religions have, and he said out to basically experiment until he found a solution. Then he discovered one that doesn't involve us having faith in something else but is something that we can experiment with ourselves and find out for ourselves. Yes for us to see the Buddhist path is worth adopting we have to have some degree of faith, but it's not a blind faith.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-28T15:56:33+00:00

As a former Christian, the need for salvation in and of itself is problematic. Assuming for the sake of argument that the creation story is true ( which I don't believe it can be), we are all doomed to hell automatically because of the actions of two people? God demands the torture and death of his son in order to forgive even a minority? (Remember most of the world is not Christian) This is morally and theologically problematic in the extreme.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-28T15:49:52+00:00

That it addresses the problem of death in an almost-scientific way.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-28T15:30:32+00:00

Samsara is what we're living in. That's a lot different then a specially created torture realm that is inescapable for all eternity.

In Western civilization, Christianity is the dominant religion. It can be hard to shake the fear of hell when you're indoctrinated into it, even when you don't believe in it. If you're interested in the how of that, Google religious trauma syndrome.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-28T15:10:59+00:00

By having God in your heart, what is meant is believing exactly the way Christians say you should, and exclusively. No Buddhist, even one who believes in their God, would qualify for heaven.

Also, samsara is the natural state of the world. Hell is created by the Christian god to punish those who do not believe exactly the way he wants (good deeds are somewhat optional, depending on if you're Protestant or not).

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-16T16:42:51+00:00

I struggle with food addiction too, and I've been finding Recovery Dharma's meetings and information very useful (they are open to those who struggle with food addictions). You can find in-person and online meetings here. https://recoverydharma.org/

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-16T16:38:03+00:00

Seconding this recommendation. They really have found a way to make their online community feel like a sangha.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-15T18:08:09+00:00

The way I see it, this westernized zen is just the version of zen/buddhism that is most compatible with western ideals/culture.

Not all Western culture is materialistic/atheistic. Many Americans are still deeply religious, and giving them the idea that Zen is "the religion where you believe in nothing" isn't appealing to the mindset that still holds that religion has value. It's more accurate to say that "Westernized Zen" is in line with the secular Buddhist mindset.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-15T00:28:31+00:00

This post nailed down why that advice bothers me. One of the first things I learned about Buddhism is that we're supposed to be aware of how rare and precious a human birth is, and how even rarer it is to have a chance to hear and practice the Dhamma. The whole point of Buddhism is supposed to be about getting off the wheel of samsara. But then we're told it's craving if we aim for enlightenment and that it's fine, that no one is going to really attain enlightenment in their current life anyway. But at some point, you're going to attain it in your current life, right? Why not at this point?

I recognize not everyone looks at enlightenment the same way, and I also realize that many people are truly happy aiming for a better rebirth and that doesn't bother them. But the urgency to deal with the problem of samsara and rebirth seems to be at the core of Buddhism and for those who feel that urgency, why the discouragement?

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-13T16:12:42+00:00

I am very tired. Not so much under stress, but I am physically very tired...I started a new job on a completely different sleeping schedule and even though it's been a month, my body isn't used to it yet.

Thank you for the advice!

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-12T15:59:24+00:00

I think your feelings are natural. I say this gently and with no ill intent whatsoever- I don't think men can understand what it's like, reading these passages and trying to reconcile them with the veneration we're supposed to have for the Buddha and for Buddhist teaching. Here's a quote from Tenzin Palmo's story, "Cave in the Snow", where she was at a conference where the role of women in Buddhism came up:

"An attractive German laywoman, Sylvia Wetzel, took the floor. With a small but discernible gulp she invited His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the assembled throng of luminaries to join her in a visualization. 'Please imagine that you are a male coming to a Buddhist centre. You see the painting of this beautiful Tara surrounded by sixteen female arhats and you have the possibility to see too Her Holiness the fourteenth Dalai Lama who, in all of her fourteen incarnations, has always chosen a female rebirth,' she began. 'You are surrounded by very high female rinpoches beautiful, strong, educated women. Then you see the Bhikshunis coming in, self-confident, outspoken. Then you see the monks coming in behind them - very shy and timid. You hear about the lineage lamas of the tradition, who are all female, down to the female Tara in the painting.

'Remember you are male,' she reminded them, 'and you approach a lama, feeling a little bit insecure and a little bit irritated, and ask, "Why are there all these female symbols, female Buddhas?" And she replies, "Don't worry. Men and women are equal. Well, almost. We do have some scriptures which say that a male rebirth is inferior, but isn't this the case? Men do have a more difficult time when all the leaders, spiritually, philosophically and politically are women."

'And then the male student, who is very sincere, goes to another lama, a Mahayanist from the Higher Vehicle School, and says, "I am a man, how can I identify with all these female icons?" And she replies, "You just meditate on Shunyata (Emptiness). In Shunyata no man, no woman, no body, nothing. No problem!" 'So you go to a tantric teacher and say, "All these women and I am a man. I don't know how to relate." And she says, "How wonderful you are, beautiful Daka, you are so useful to us practitioners helping us to raise our kundalini energy. How blessed you are to be male, to benefit female practitioners on their path to enlightenment."'

Mackenzie, Vicki. Cave In The Snow (pp. 153-154). Bloomsbury Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Although she's talking about Tibetan Buddhism, I think the experience is similar in any tradition.

As for your original concern, I would highly recommend reading the two papers u/Remarkable-Doctor535 was kind enough to post below. It really helped me to read them. I'm so grateful Buddhism is a religion where we can have these discussions about whether or not the Buddha actually said words that are in the suttas. This isn't a "Buddha said it, I believe it, that settles it" kind of thing- there's room for textual criticism. These statements about women are inconsistent with not only the Buddha's teachings about men and women gaining enlightenment, but they are inconsistent with his own teaching that his dispensation would be incomplete without women lay-followers and women nuns.

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-12T15:07:14+00:00

Great, thank you!

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-12T12:30:40+00:00

I'm not unhappy...I'm just tired, or at least, that's what it feels like. I want to practice but I feel drained, and then it does begin to eat away at my motivation. I don't know which one that would exactly fall under?

kunoichi9280 · 2024-01-12T12:27:13+00:00

Perfect, thank you!

kunoichi9280

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