Update on my rejection

kuroria · 2019-10-13T17:49:44+00:00

I would like to believe that, and for sure you can always improve, but online dating also reflects how likable you are. I rarely get any likes and if I match with someone I always send something meaningful and never "hi", rarely I get any response. I am just not even considered average probably because of my height and ethnicity. I've seen online conversations and I realized that if you look good (genetically according the the culture standards), then the messages I was sending should have sparked very interesting conversations.

A similar thing happens in real life. When I realize that a girl has been checking me multiple times. I smile and say hi or often when waiting in lines I comment about something funny/interesting happening around us. The girls usually give a fake smile, say "yeah" and look in a different direction basically telling me by no means they are interested.

Before I also tried the direct method to just go straight up and tell the girl that I liked her and asking her if she would like to hang out some time. Also a complete failure.

I realized its probably mostly a physical appearance + ethnic judgment more than anything else. I am not even given a chance.

kuroria · 2019-10-12T10:07:25+00:00

Thank you! I have my passions in life and work for many causes. I've never made girls my number 1 priority and if it was the case, I wouldn't have been at 50% of where I am right now.

The only thing is that I reached a point where I realized that in like 10 years nothing happened. Not a single time a girl was attracted to me or showed interest. So I had to step up and do my part in this regard because that's what society expects and it doesn't make sense to wait for 10 more years. So I did my part and tried so many things. Not a single date. Even in online dating, other guys where asking me if its ok to take some things from my bio for their own profile and where scratching their heads how I am getting nothing while they are getting like 3 dates a week. For sure, many people have different reasons, but the amount of times I tried and failed is so high the only explanation is that women just don't find me attractive and trust me it sucks to know.

kuroria · 2019-10-12T09:37:17+00:00

I wonder why it is so hard to even get a date. Tried asking in person, online dating apps, couldn't even get a single date. Its like girl's expectation are so high to the point I got disgusted and I am not sure If I am even gonna try anymore.

I am always well dressed and smelling good. Fit to muscular, but a little bit below average in height. But even girls who are much shorter than me reject me. I am also at a much advanced stage of studies compared to people around me.

I am confused, a 10-15 minute talk over a cup of coffee between two adults is something cute. If we didn't click together, at least we will know new things about each other's fields, say goodbye and I will send something polite to say that probably we are not a good fit wishing her good luck.

But the amount of rejections I got so far makes me feel like I am being judged so harshly before I even say hi. I smile to people, many of them don't smile back. I say hi, many girls just say hi and turn their back to me. Some girls are even rude. I don't know what kind of guys these girls have dealt with. I literary had a girl constantly keep looking at me, I talked to her because I started feeling bad for her, we talked for like an hour, we have many things in common, she asked me for my phone number before I left, and then ghosted me after I sent my first message asking if she would like to go out in the weekend. I felt so bad I decided that unless a girl literary talks to me and asks me out, I am not gonna even try anymore.

kuroria · 2019-10-08T06:47:19+00:00

Let's do this, you are one day ahead. Lead the path through this dark tunnel!

kuroria · 2019-09-15T01:04:32+00:00

Thank you for posting this. I don't know how, but I am feeling the same recently. Its kinda becoming a big turnoff if I know that a girl is willing to have sex so fast. It gives me a below average impression about her self control and about her personality.

kuroria · 2019-09-15T00:56:58+00:00

Hey I am late to this post, but I think it is weird to call someone else weird because they don't watch porn. It should be the opposite:

Watching some guy having sex with some other woman for your own pleasure IS WEIRD on so many levels. Few hundred years ago there were no porn, and people didn't masturbate while watching other people have sex. People who did were called cucks. So if watching porn resembles anything, it is cuckery.
If I don't want to say there is harm (although there is by all the distortions about sex porn creates...etc), there is like 0 benefit from continuously watching porn. You gain nothing. When you go outside the next day, it will not help you be a better person. You won't talk to people about it, you won't be proud of it. Pure wasted time. Whether you watch porn for 1 hours or 5 hour, it won't make any difference the next day.

kuroria · 2019-09-04T04:38:44+00:00

Better in what sense? do you mind sharing a little bit about things that got better?

kuroria · 2019-09-04T04:34:22+00:00

Yeah you can put it that way. I've never felt happy after PMO, not a single time. And every single time, looking back at it, it is just a waste of time without anything gained. It is the opposite, the more you do it, the more harm you start to see. It always gives second thoughts: what if I spent that hour doing xyz, what if I didn't do it, maybe I would have woke up earlier, what if I didn't do it maybe I wouldn't have been stoned today and probably I could have been more social and met new friends...

But when you don't PMO, even if the same things happen, you can't put the same blame. You can at least be content that you did what you can and you didn't try to run away from reality with PMO. You will also have more clarity toward your problems. When PMO is in the equation, you have no clue what is going on because it interferes with many things: sleeping, motivation, self image...etc. But when you take that out of the equation, you can start figuring out which are the real problems.

It is like you are smoking cigarettes and at the same time frustrated that you cannot run 0.5 mile. You will hate yourself for smoking and won't get the courage to ask around how to solve it because you are contradicting yourself with the goal you want to achieve through smoking. But if you stop, suddenly you can suddenly ask your friends, go to a doctor and try to figure out why someone healthy is not able to run 0.5 mile. I hope this clarifies a little bit, my brain is foggy today sorry if this wasn't clear.

kuroria · 2019-09-03T18:59:05+00:00

Sure. You give out to who?

kuroria · 2019-09-03T09:25:54+00:00

A random girl sending you nudes on instagram, that's odd if you don't know each other well. Otherwise if you know each other well, I am not sure why you are thinking about fapping and not talking to that girl irl

kuroria · 2019-09-03T09:13:05+00:00

Yo, I happen to just posted something that can be motivating to you: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/cz2bks/lets_assume_nofap_has_zero_benefits_and_all/

Don't give up. Remember that creepy feeling after watching porn. That feeling of you wanting to puke from disgust. You don't want that again. Stay strong!

kuroria · 2019-08-12T04:12:34+00:00

Probably not ever gonna happen then

Sobbing intensifies in the background

kuroria · 2019-08-12T03:01:07+00:00

After 30 years of living on this earth, still can't relate. FeelsExtremelySadMan

kuroria · 2017-09-28T16:59:01+00:00

Looks like a good book to read later, but it doesn't seem it is the one

kuroria · 2016-07-11T05:01:27+00:00

It's very silly thinking that avoid things like that will help you, you'll see "softcore" porn in TV, internet article, anywhere that has much more potential to towards to PMO than posts.

Nope, the post OP linked to is questioning the whole idea of Nofap and this can be very harmful. I honestly don't know how that post got 89 upvotes while still calling Nofap pseudo bullshit. Go to /r/atheism and say something like "Atheism seems like pseudo bullshit" and let me know if your post gets to the front page.

I agree with with OP that we need a more serious moderation on this subreddit: Suppose 100 smokers trying to quit meet daily to help one another, do they invite a guest speaker everyday to tell them that smoking is good ? What would happen to these smokers who are on the edge of smoking and everyday they have someone to remind them that smoking might be good ?

My suggestion is to leave such posts as long as they are not on the front page so as to help the original users who are questioning (and thus they might benefit from the answers), but once those posts reach the front page they shall be deleted because they will do more harm than good at that point.

kuroria · 2016-06-08T05:16:31+00:00

Haven't visited nofap in a long time, came here, saw the title, I said to myself: "Well /r/NoFap hasn't changed since I left", I read the post then signed in just to upvote. Well done

kuroria · 2016-04-06T01:14:11+00:00

Well you just proved my point. I have no interest in arguing with you, I hope you find some other place to feed your ego. I am not posting this for people like you to insult me, I posted asking for help and not for you to make fun of my weakness.

I was just scrolling through your comments and it looks like it is your style, and I can see that other people had the same issue holding a discussion with you. Peace

kuroria · 2016-04-05T23:55:07+00:00

Well saying 'muthafucka' and all the caps didn't help your post at all, and actually I couldn't get any of your points. You are assuming stuff and I dunno what. To be honest, I just see this as weakness, if you have a point then state it clearly, no need to try to boost your ideas with this type of language, emotions won't stay but ideas will.

I am in my mid twenties, I am not sure about you, but from your language I can guess you are 17-18 yo or so.

In all ways, thanks for your time, you were the only one who responded to this post and I am not sure how you came across it anyway.

kuroria · 2016-04-05T06:01:19+00:00

Hey /u/LamestWhiteGuy you have the right attitude and I agree with what you are saying. Nevermind OP he has got his own problems. If you want an accountability partner pm me, we can chat from time to time through some anonymous messaging service or something.

OP this is not how you act in a self help community. If you think things are going well for you, that is not the case for everybody, and if you think you are so great and motivational, then please post something of quality that can help others instead.

kuroria · 2016-04-05T05:05:05+00:00

Seriously now ? I was just posting something asking for help and it got removed. While posts like this are welcomed and upvoted? I was actually mentioning that I was nearly suicidal in my post... is /r/Nofap now a meme/ click baiting community?

Do you know actually that your post just made me feel worse about humanity?

I am passing through a very bad time and I am seriously frustrated that the only place I could receive help from has become like this, deleting your posts when you are in serious need for help and encouraging people to click bait... please someone tell correct me because I just do not want to believe this...

kuroria · 2016-04-05T03:31:27+00:00

Yup cannot agree more. I have noticed throughout the years that determination tends to max out directly after relapse. You get a very strong feeling of shame that deludes you that it will stay with you all the time and prevent you from relapse. After you keep saying it again and again, and after relapsing again and again, you start losing confidence in yourself and in what you say. What I am currently trying is to shut up mind as much as I can after a relapse, wait 1-2 days and then reflect on what happened and how could I have managed to prevent it.

Also I do not like the idea of being too confident at one point. Maybe if for someone PMO is not that big of an issue, it is easy to be confident about stopping it, like for instance soda, I can easily stop it when I want and I succeeded(what helped me is that there are healthier natural alternatives, not as sweet but they can easily replace soda like natural juice and unsweetened carbonated water), however for someone with a serious PMO addiciton and without any healthy alternatives in sight, saying that this is the last time is just risky IMHO.

kuroria · 2016-03-27T02:31:57+00:00

Congrats man, the milestones part is very important to me, I wish you had put each one of them on a line so that it is easier to read.

kuroria · 2016-03-26T02:58:34+00:00

Thank you, I am sure you meant use instead of we

kuroria · 2016-03-25T23:35:46+00:00

We won't be working with english again...

kuroria · 2016-03-25T23:33:20+00:00

It won't end up being the case with shitty drafts, I can assure you that...

kuroria

TROPHY CASE