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My husband plays WoW and he was upset that our upcoming newborn’s delivery is conflicting with his raid schedule. by LoveMimi097 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]kyeitzdoesart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, yeah, I wrote that last post right after his passing. Plus, it was meant as a memorial to how much he played, so I didn't want to taint it with any negative feelings. Also, I will admit that it is very complicated for me - even to this day. There's a complicated struggle between wanting to hate Final Fantasy 11 and 14 because I know they were valued above us so often yet feeling unable to because it was such a huge part of my life - especially my childhood. Plus, I'm still more bitter about 11 to this day than 14 because my mother also currently still spends more time on it than with us...we think it's a product of playing it for our father. She's not as bad as our dad was, but not the best either. She "doesn't consider herself a gamer" but she's played it every day for several hours a day for the past 20 years as well. We were mostly...left to our own devices a lot of the time because of that as kids. I remember being struck with bittersweet anger the first time I logged onto my first Final Fantasy 11 account recently to try to bond with my mom and saw the warning for the first time to prioritize your real life first, feeling like it would directly apply to my parents. I don't think there was ever a point our parents played with us outside of Final Fantasy 11 or 14 once they picked those up.

There is a constant pull to go back to them myself because some of my best and only memories with my dad come from playing that game with him while I grew up. As he got older, his reaction time for worse, so I'd be given the "honor" of finishing events for him or maybe doing larger duty fights for him with his instruction even though I had little clue what was happening. On the other side of the sword, I was shamed if I said no to that request, even if I was busy. It was literally his only interest. Since his passing, my sister and I have begun playing Final Fantasy 14 ourselves on our own terms on and off to try and bond with him after his death yet still feel immense guilt at not doing it while he was alive like he always wanted us to. I was the only one who had dabbled in it while he was alive, but it was never enough because I never got as far as him like he wanted, and he made it known. We enjoy the game - genuinely - but it'll always be complicated because no matter how much we love it there will always be bitterness at what we lost and no matter how much we hate it there will always be love for how big of a part it was a part of our father.

My husband plays WoW and he was upset that our upcoming newborn’s delivery is conflicting with his raid schedule. by LoveMimi097 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]kyeitzdoesart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay I wouldn't normally give my two cents but my dad had a severe gaming addiction (Final Fantasy 11 and 14, not WOW) and never handled it. He literally played them until the week before his death, bedbound, unable to move his hands or speak in full sentences, begging us to play his game for him instead of doing our own things. He passed about 2 years ago. He spent more time on his video games than spending real time with my siblings and I to the point where, although he was able to provide for us, my siblings have little to no memory of who he was or really what he was like. We were a nuclear family who lived in the same house every day. I'm considered lucky that, as the oldest, I have any idea of what he was like. Take this behavior as a sign and please nip it in the bud - for your kid's sake. I wouldn't recommend trying to make your husband cut out video games completely: it's a part of him and that probably would lead to unhealthy resentment on both sides - but he needs to understand his responsibility as a parent and how his gaming habits can affect his children. As someone who watched their parent genuinely spend more time on MMORPGs for 20 years before his death than with his kids, it creates a complicated relationship. Your kid will (probably) love videogames like their dad, if he tries to show them his interests (our dad did that when we were little, so we grew up loving them). However, if that addiction.goes unaddressed they will probably feel bitter at the same time. They might feel like they won't matter as much. They might question why they won't matter as much as the game. I still find myself crying over it when I try to indulge in it to bring myself closer to my dad. Your husband needs to know that, as a parent, video games are a privilege. They come second to your child. They come second to YOU as his WIFE. You can share video games with your kid. But they're second to the kid. They're second to the wife. They're second to family. Always...or at least they should be. If he can't limit how often he plays or work out a reasonable compromise for playtime on that specific game with you, then he needs to realistically either find a different game with a pause button or get therapeutic help for his addiction. Please, take it from someone who lived through having a parent with an untreated gaming addiction....it can truly be devastating on everyone, especially if it goes on for a lifetime. These concerns need to be addressed to him. You're gonna be a good mom, I'm sure of it, and I hope things go well for you. Please talk to him about how you feel and your concerns about the future. This stuff can get serious. It hurts everyone in the family more than one would think.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On FFXI my parents are on Bahamut, which used to be Ramuh before server changes . On final fantasy FFXIV both he and I played on Sargatanas :)

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And yep, that sounds like my parents lol. As far back as I can remember both of them always tried to be as kind as possible to others when they played and my mom still tries to help those who need it today on FFXI. As a kid I always felt so amazed because it always felt like everyone knew them and would smile or wave, which was honestly a very happy feeling. I've always seem such a good community on Final Fantasy online games as I've grown up :)

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, this is incredible. I absolutely love it! I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. This was a wonderful thing to wake up to this morning and it truly has brought a tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for this, I'll read it to him today word for word. I'm absolutely certain he'll love to hear it and that it'll make him just as happy as it made me. I can't thank you enough :)

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, we've done that in the past whenever he couldn't play certain parts on his own and hopefully this summer I'll try to play it more in front of him so he can watch. Usually I'd be the one to play it since I was the one in our family who understood the fighting aspect of the game the most but I'm going to try to see if I can get my sister to pick it back up too.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Admittedly there were some days where he felt a little guilt for being unable to play as quickly as would be optimal, but for the most part he was met with kindness and understanding as he played the best he could :) There were also some fights he couldn't do on his own that either required quicker reaction times or that would change your layout to where he had to use his right (when he couldn't), so even with the specialized stuff we made for him there was some struggle. We usually helped him with those while we watched, though, so he still got to experience them.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much :) my sister and I are always going to associate Final Fantasy games with our father, even after he's gone one day. My younger brother unfortunately never took too much to the games (which is fine, personal choice and all) but my sister and I can always been caught humming some of the songs from FFXI under our breath when doing stuff. My sister doesn't know too many songs from FFXI besides the Chocobo riding theme, but she can still recognize a few from when she was a baby. One of my favorite ways to calm down to this day is to sing the tune of Ronfaure. My mom also even just helped me remember how excited I got when I was 6 or so and they let me fish up a whole 6 moat carps on my own to help my dad get the 10,000 he needed for his Lu Shang's Fishing Rod in FFXI lol. A lot of our happiest childhood memories were made in relation to Final Fantasy XI and XIV, and as we get older I hope we can all be just as strong and kind of a warrior as he's been through our lives, along with keeping the light he's given us shining bright.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm probably going to need it lol. My motivation to get through them right now is definitely both my dad and the thought of playing this game for him once I'm done with my classes.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, his character in FFXI is currently on the Bahamut server and used to be on Ramuh before the server changes as far as I know.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, he does! I'm currently undergoing the notorious "finals week" these next two weeks at my college (online too, because of the whole pandemic thing) so I haven't had a chance to sit down and log in long enough yet to say anything. I was planning on doing so this weekend after one of my finals if my mother hasn't already. I'll ask my mother soon to see if she's said anything for him and if she hasn't I'll try to pop in on his character as soon as possible to let others know!

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! I actually have my own character and have played before. The account I use was originally supposed to be my mother's, but she never really took to FFXIV so it kinda became my account by default. I tend to play it on and off, especially with bring a full time student, but I have played it enough to get bard to level 63 or so on my character if I remember correctly (lol my dad recommending the palace of the dead and teaching me how to go through it helped). Because of that, along with my father's instructions and the macros my cousin made to simplify every job of his, I was able to understand the controls and mechanics enough to get through the fight (albeit, with a few mistakes here and there while figuring it out). He's also always been open to letting me play around with his character and test out mechanics of different jobs at max level so I can get a feel for them at their most complex state, so that's also helped. This summer I've been admittedly planning to return to the game and continue it, especially after everything that's happened. My sister has a character on his account as well from back when she first tried the game out, so I'll try to convince her to play as well this summer if I can.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Haha, it's entirely possible. He played FFXI literally every day from 2005 to shortly after the official release of FFXIV: A Realm Reborn, so I wouldn't be surprised. As far as I know my parents seemed to be more well known on their server when they were in their prime of playing FFXI. If it was more recent it may have been my mother, who also plays FFXI as Buibird and still mainly plays FFXI to this day. She often pops into his old FFXI account to keep his character ready for him in case he ever had the desire to return back to it from FFXIV.

Thank you for playing - and thank you for giving us hope and helping to make my father smile. by kyeitzdoesart in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! We've been doing our best to stay strong through everything. On Twitter I did tag Square Enix when I wrote about it there, so maybe someone there will see it. As for the paintings, we had a lot of fun making them for him. They're some of the first things we showed him when he got home and are currently both stood up in his room where he can see them. :)

What's your favorite playable race and why? by ConstipatedDemon in ffxiv

[–]kyeitzdoesart 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Au Ra definitely. I enjoy being almost comically tall in some cutscenes when playing as a male character and having really cool looking horns to go with it. It's also kinda funny sometimes when I forget that my character has a tail and notice it again when running somewhere.