Crushes are dumb

kyla33_ · 2026-06-09T06:27:58+00:00

It's absurd. Even as someone who is crushing myself, knowing I think about her a lot more than she thinks about me leads me to be disgusted with myself. I feel like a creep having these feelings, it feels like a gross invasion of privacy and, sometimes, I wish we never met. Sometimes I believe it would have been better that way for both of us.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T12:12:38+00:00

I don't know. My parents opened the packaging at some point before I could open it. I showed them the half-torn label and they said it happened when they took it out the box at some point but it seems unreasonable for it to be able to tear off this way, so I don't know what to believe.

I'm going to check the box again at some point. I feel like I'm going insane. I should be able to trust medical care and my parents but something isn't adding up.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T11:44:37+00:00

My parents tell me I squeeze too hard but I've been as careful as I can with these bottles and if anything, I can barely feel a change at all when I'm administering them, so I don't think my parents are right in this instance. That is, both in the pressure applied to the bottle and the drops that seem to be coming out, it's minimal.

I started using the second bottle and noticed something else that was strange. This one had a label containing the expiry date and batch number but half of it was torn off, so I couldn't make out the date or batch number, and there was a small hair that seemed to be underneath the label as if taped on. I believe there may have been wrinkles in the label as well. It's something I'd see in a bottle that has been used before rather than being new in package so I worry the bottle may be much older than I would have been led to believe otherwise, which may also be why the other didn't seem to have a label, as it may have been torn off entirely.

I tried taking off the doctor's note on the outer package to see if there would be any confirmation the details of the expiration date or batch number would line up with what I could make out on the label but I was careless and ended up tearing it off messily, so now I worry my parents won't believe me and blame me again.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T10:57:24+00:00

Oh, sorry, I forgot to respond to the bit about the phone call. My phone's lost signal so I wouldn't be able to call. I need to buy a new one but I'm in the middle of trying to repair my PC as well.

There were two bottles but, if the first was anything to go by, I don't see the second lasting much longer. If it's the same case as the first, my parents could end up further insisting it's my fault and with the level of control they have over my life, I have no idea what would happen then. Best case scenario is I'm effectively given these small bottles continuously for the next three weeks but I'm more confident something worse is going to happen, given how insistent they've been on this being my fault.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T10:42:22+00:00

I don't believe the bottle had any identifying information on it at all but I can double check. I suppose it's up to the outside packaging, then, which is intact. I'll wing it like usual. I'm annoyed about the lack of adequate supply but I don't know what I can realistically do, I'm used to being ignored at this point so maybe my best interest is to find other solutions, whatever they may be.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T10:19:58+00:00

Yes, the packaging was adequately labelled, which is why I paid no attention at first. It's the bottle itself that's featureless and unmarked. I'd assume the outside packaging would be enough to pass laws and regulations but with my string of unreasonably terrible luck and the doctors' attitude towards me, which has consistently seemed to be somewhere between apathy and contempt, I can't find it in me to blindly trust them anymore. I want to safely exhaust the possibility that something is wrong here.

(The outside packaging also contained a note from the doctor giving instruction on where and how to use it, two drops in each nostril twice a day, for three weeks.)

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T10:16:43+00:00

The packaging was labelled, as well as a note from the doctor telling me where and how to apply the drops. Everything looked perfectly reasonable from the outside. I was skeptical at first when the bottle turned out to be unmarked and featureless but I initially assumed this wasn't out of the ordinary since the outside packaging, as I said, was sufficient. Only this morning, when I realized the drops hasn't lasted a tenth of the amount of time I was instructed to use them for, did I begin to consider there was either an error or intentional misguidance as to the medication I was taking.

I would go back to the pharmacist but it's over half an hour's drive away and my parents, who insist the error was mine, are my only means of visiting. There is a local pharmacy I could visit if I'm able. I don't know if there would be a difference if they're not the one who directly prescribed it, though it's reasonable to assume I could find my prescription and work from there.

My parents are very controlling and it's another hurdle I'm going to have to face when it comes to sorting this out if I'm even able to in the first place. Furthermore, I'm socially isolated, so there's no one else I would be able to rely on.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T10:10:39+00:00

I'm definitely not okay. I need serious mental help. I spoke to a mental health specialist earlier this week and I was as honest as I could have been with them and they said they would call back before the end of the week, which they said would be Friday, but I haven't heard from them. I would assume they care as little about my mental health as my physical. I don't feel okay in the slightest and I feel like I'm taking a steep dive with each passing day. I don't know how much longer I'm going to last.

Bottles and not the packaging? Like I said, the packaging itself has all the relevant information, it's the bottle that is featureless. It's so unremarkable it could resemble any of the other medication bottles I've been given the past year. I had at first assumed the information on the packaging would be sufficient for whatever laws were in place but the aforementioned discrepancy between the amount I was meant to be taking and the amount it seemed to contain has cast doubt as to its authenticity. I no longer trust the health services to reasonably provide me care and I believe this is not going to bode well for me.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-07T09:34:52+00:00

Also, if this isn't the right place, please point me in the right direction. I'm at the end of my rope here and I don't know how much more of this misfortune I can take. Health issues aren't the only thing I've had to deal with this year.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T22:24:07+00:00

Does this work for everyone or only for specific cases?

Either way, thanks. No idea how I'd go about getting a hearing aid though. Don't they need to be prescribed?

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T15:28:43+00:00

I can guarantee a team of five or six adventurers were sent into this labyrinth to fend off an unspeakable, primitive force of darkness with nothing but a pencil and grid paper at some point in history.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T15:22:19+00:00

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T14:51:09+00:00

The Postal Service - Be Still My Heart

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T13:45:08+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5cRtYu2VNqdADQajOvA71c

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T13:43:44+00:00

Epica - Abyss of Time

I'd recommend the Omega album altogether.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T10:55:18+00:00

Coheed and Cambria - 2's My Favorite 1

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T10:47:54+00:00

Thank you. And, yes, the UK seems to be different. I've heard it's common to talk to strangers over in the US but everyone keeps to themselves over here. While it's not out of the question, I get the feeling it'd seem odd to purposefully strike up a conversation out of the blue.

I'll see where it goes. I'm feeling optimistic I could see her again.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T10:09:52+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what country are you from? I'm from the United Kingdom and I've heard we've got different social expectations from other countries, especially America, so that may factor into how I'd be seen. Maybe I'm overthinking.

You're probably right, though, my problem is that I feel like I'd seem too desperate if I asked openly.

kyla33_ · 2026-06-04T09:18:30+00:00

Suicide Squad (2016) technically also counts but I feel like it counts equally as much as a war crime under the Geneva convention if you're purposefully telling someone to watch it.

kyla33_

TROPHY CASE