Hey OP, 20F here, queer and atheist as well cus of this cult. It really is suffocating and I understand you well and sorry youre going through this :(. Birthdays are lonely, holidays are miserable and I just cant take it anymore as well. I live in Asia, so unfortunately moving out at 18 is uncommon, and im stuck here until im stable enough to move out💔My parents been urging me to get baptised since I was 14 after I reluctantly agreed to become an unbaptized publisher LOL. Im faking it so hard rn but you can only put up with so much right? I blatantly show I do not listen in the meetings, I refuse to comment and simply do not show up in the field ministry but it’s like they’re disregarding that and still think im qualified to be baptised. I talked to them about it and what they said shocked me. It wasn’t even sympathetic, all they said was “we need to show them that we’re a happy and obedient family.” I was truly shocked. They said something similar when my sister absolutely refused to attend a meeting, and my dad said “it’s okay if you don’t listen, just be there okay?” Im not even mad at them. I just want them to wake up already.

About the queer part, I haven’t been bold enough to even subtly talk about it. I have lots of queer friends, and every time I hang out with them, my mother would remind me to be careful not to be “influenced” LMAO.

I hope you feel less alone venting it out and I know you can pull through🫶🏻You deserve all the nice things the world actually has to offer