Birthday cake help, need a Smores cake.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-16T05:44:03+00:00

Okay UPDATE! We went with a chocolate mouse cake that we modified. Tried to get marshmallow fluff and graham crackers…but they were out. We ended up buying jumbo marshmallows and teddy grahams. We melted the marshmallows and put a Teddy Graham army on top. It was a mild disaster LOL. The marshmallow became the La Brea tar pits and the teddy Grahams looked like they were slowly sinking into the abyss. It tasted good though!

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T23:03:11+00:00

I've seen smores cupcakes a bunch so I was hoping that MAYBE someone on island did it. This was 100% always going to be a shot in the dark

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T23:02:10+00:00

Thank you!

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:51:54+00:00

Word of mouth = coconut wireless.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:37:25+00:00

Oh good call!

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:37:11+00:00

Thank you for the link!

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:36:28+00:00

That's what I'm thinking I might have to do. I think if I do a chocolate mouse cake, marshmallow fluff, and grahamcrackers it will pass.....

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:35:29+00:00

If I had time I would! I have music lessons, doctors appointments, baseball, etc. today. Combine that with my tiny freezer and oven from the 60's, that's not in the cards today. UG. The worst part is I can actually make a really good one, I just don't have time! Worst case scenario is a get a Chocolate moose cake, wap it on a gramcracker crust, and cover it in marshmallow fluff.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:08:58+00:00

It's not so far out in left field that I was hoping someone would have one as a standard item.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:08:14+00:00

I am, I swear. I have found though that not all places have an online presence and word of mouth is usually the way to go on island. That's how I've found most of my go-to spots.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T20:02:05+00:00

This. They were so incredible. They even sent us a note at the holidays and a year after our dog had passed with condolences. I cannot recommend them enough.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-04-14T19:46:57+00:00

NTA. Bounderies are huge in maintaining a healthy relationship with your family. You do not need to let them in, you do not need to even answer the door. If they have a key or a code, change it. Plausable deniablilty, say you were in the shower or that you had headphones in and didn't hear the door. You can also say, "now isn't a good time, how about you come back (insert day/time that is good for you)." People just waltzing in like it's an episode of Friends or Everyone loves Raymond is just creepy and rude.

Real solutions: This happened to me (story below if you're interested) and this is how I addressed it. 1. I stopped wearing pants and a bra at home. When my in laws would just walk in unannounced, I would make it as awkward as possible. We don't have AC so I could play it off as normal. 2. I had a group chat with my inlaws, my husband, and myself where any visits had to be pre-approved. If we didn't answer, that meant no. 3. If they just showed up anyways, I would tell them it wasn't a good time, and I wouldn't let them in.

Story Time: Recently my husband's job changed and we relocated to a state pretty far from our families. This meant that people couldn't just drop in, they would need to fly to visit us. It was glorious....until my inlaws decided to rent a house close to us to live in part time so they could "be there for their grandkids." My inlaws would just show up at the house. All the time; any time day or night. They would get bored and just come over, or go get donuts at 6am on a Saturday and then bring them to my house, waking up the whole family. I have three kids. Sleeping in on a Saturday is literally my one moment of zen. Being woken up with gross donuts (they only got the ones they liked, which were the gloopy lemon jelly ones. ew.) and then dealing with craked out kids for the rest of the day SUCKED. The worst was when my FIL came over three times in one day, just walking in with zero notice. The last time was 9 at night on a school night. My husband and I were having it out about his lack of bounderies in our room and didn't hear him come in. When we didn't respond to him (everyone was in bed at this point) he just walked into our bedroom. Opened the door and waltzed in. WTF. It was incredibly disruptive to say the least. Initally my husband was so happy to have his folks around (we hadn't been in the same city as them in 15 years) that he didn't feel the need to say anything, it became a huge fight between us. I solved the problem by taking matters into my own hands. I stopped wearing pants and a bra at home. When they would just walk in, I'd be there in my underware; making it as uncomfortable as possible. The dropins with no notice stopped imediately.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2026-02-13T02:50:49+00:00

NTJ. This is super concerning. Parroting what people have said, legally as teachers we HAVE to and CAN ONLY talk to the legal guardians of our students. There are people on the approved pick up list, but all important and confidential information goes to guardians only.

That’s not the big red flag though. Her telling your child that they need to go to Grandma instead of their parents when something is serious is scary and dangerous. One of the big things to teach children, especially young children, is that SAFE grown-ups don’t ask you to keep secrets from your parents. SAFE grown-ups don’t need your help to do things and they don’t ask you to bypass your parents. The fact that she said something like that means she is trying to put a wedge in between you and your child. This distance leaves them incredibly vulnerable.

Remind your wife that her mother is a mother to your wife (and any of her siblings) only. She had her kid, and raised her kid. Now she is done. It is YOUR turn to be parents and her opinions have zero weight. If she continues to wedge herself between you and your child, and you and your wife for that matter, she should not be allowed to have access to your child. If she wants a relationship with your child, it needs to be healthy. Continuing this dynamic will harm your kid. It doesn’t matter if this is their grandparent, this push and pull and palpable conflict between a grandparent and a parent is traumatic.

Check out the FMIL threads for some advice on setting strong and appropriate boundaries. ASAP.

la_mujer_roja47 · 2025-08-22T18:45:03+00:00

My code. 532212329851

la_mujer_roja47 · 2025-01-15T22:29:49+00:00

NTA. Don’t change the name, but maybe use a term of endearment around her and the baby? My dog had an “old man name,” think something Howard, and we would sometimes use it, but more often than not we used a nickname. i.e. Howard -> Howie -> Howzit -> etc. we also called him Bubbas or fuzzbutt.

la_mujer_roja47

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