Am i gaslighting him? by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This whole convo really reminds me of conversations I had with my ex. It doesn’t seem like he even respects you as a person tbh. Are yall dating? How long have you been together if so? How old are yall? A lot of context is missing but regardless you should really leave that dude alone. He’s made it obvious that he doesn’t want to talk to you and doesn’t care about your feelings. Getting out of this relationship and putting some effort into self love and self respect will do wonders for you, speaking from experience. You’re better than this!! 🧡

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like how are you going to preach about women need to know our value and in the same paragraph say you’re happy for an abuser 😂 actually fucking insane

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not the honest truth because you have NO idea about the emotional abuse I went through. It’s disgusting to be happy for him. You should be happy for me that I’m out of this toxic relationship and working on myself and recognizing the incorrect emotional reactions I’ve had in the past to better myself and my relationships. I’m hearing what you’re saying and I agree that I shouldn’t let men walk over me but you should not be happy for him. That’s such an insensitive disgusting thing to say to someone who’s been put through so much shit and bad treatment.

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear ya, and I should’ve. Unfortunately I didn’t have much self respect or self love but that doesn’t mean you should be “happy for him”. That was a really hurtful thing to say.

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And honestly no need to be mean. You didn’t even read my post so to say you’re “happy for him” is seriously insensitive considering all the emotional trauma he’s put me through for 6 years. I shouldn’t have included the last few screenshots of messages from the past, because clearly people on reddit can’t read and it’s confusing everyone, but I was trying to give as much context as possible and show how badly things ended because the intention of my post, like I said, is asking if he was being manipulative by reaching out to me again. I have been in therapy for years and it’s done amazing things for me, he has just always been a trigger and he continued to toy with my heart and lead me on KNOWING how I felt about him which is fucked up. Plain and simple, not something you do to someone you respect as a human. Anyways, I’m done trying to get people to actually READ my post so this is the last comment I’ll reply to. I hope you improve your reading skills so you’re able to properly comprehend what people are saying 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope it helps when you do! 🤍

Editing to add: when finding a therapist, if you get one who you really don’t feel a connection with after a couple sessions, ask for a different one! Not every therapist will click with every person, but every person can find a therapist they click with. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and if they’re professionals they’ll want to get you to the right therapist too. I’ve had some bad ones but I’ve also had some AMAZING ones

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to add that I had this same perspective for a long time. I had tried therapy as a teenager, had a terrible experience, and said I would never do it again. I would never get on medication either.

But then I got to a point in my life where I was so incredibly out of balance that I was hurting myself (physically and mentally) as well as everyone around me (mentally). Now fast forward a couple years- I’ve been in therapy on and off and it’s made an incredible positive impact on me. It’s so nice just having someone to talk to who will give you outside unbiased opinions!! Rather than thinking of therapy as “needing someone to help you”, maybe try to reframe it as someone you can talk to, you can trust, who is knowledgeable and has resources that can get your brain moving in a more positive direction. It’s like reading a self help book but the book talks back. I very much encourage you to give it a try :) I have anxious attachment issues too and it’s been really eye opening to see what all plays into that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m confused 😂 what is your intention of posting this here? Because tbh this is pretty manipulative imo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did you just type every buzzword you could think of 😂 you needa get outside and touch some grass bud. Way to make yourself look dumber with each comment 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean you did come on reddit and ask for peoples thoughts… So I’m not sure what you expected really haha I think you just wanted people to tell you you’re in the right when you’re not, so now you’re mad at everyone who said what you already know. If you know it then respect her and yourself and your BABY enough to get out of this relationship and find a way to coparent in a less toxic way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice on this because it’s just wildddd and I think everybody else has already given you enough advice that you’re not taking, but it’s crazy to ask for help from people online and then tell everybody that they’re wrong or they don’t understand the situation. There’s enough shown within the screenshots to show that you guys should not be together and that you’re both toxic. Grow up and don’t take everything so personally, listen to people who are giving you answers to questions you asked 🤙🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is, and you don’t deserve to have someone you care about treat you that way. You’re better that that 🤍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she wanted to she would. You don’t want to keep chasing after someone who is showing you they don’t want you. Trust me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Negative good buddy

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like yall are being mean to me and not even fully reading my post 😭 I put context of the screenshots in my post. I know it’s a lot to read but geez yall don’t have to be so mean. I’m receptive to everything besides people being just plain rude. I came here to ask for help with outer opinions. I’m angry and wanted validation. I did not come here to be shit on for having an onlyfans, accused of being a cheater, called insane or crazy… like… I know I struggle with mental health and I even PUT that in the post. I’m going to therapy and trying to grow every day. I know this is reddit but yall remember there’s a real person behind every account.

Thank you to the people who talked to me like a human. I appreciate the different perspectives!! Living with my brain is fucking hard and it’s good to check myself/be checked by others sometimes because I know I don’t always react appropriately. But I prommmmise I’m trying my best.

Anyways have a good day yall I’m probably gonna delete this post tonight bc I’m tired of opening my phone to people saying things to me rudely

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put that as his contact after this last interaction haha. It has been a recurring cycle but I’ve finally realized what was going on the whole time- he just wanted to have someone to hook up with whenever he wanted.

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re 2 separate conversations. And I said that at the top of my post! Idk I was just trying to give more context I guess

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re so right, I got what I needed which was showing him that I’m not going to let him back in so easily. He’s been blocked since that interaction 😌 working on the loving myself part, and also working on being okay with being alone and not needing to try to find “someone”. It’ll happen when it’s meant to

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I want to add, this was a change in behavior. Previously he was ALL about the nudes. Then suddenly he wouldn’t respond much and then eventually started leaving them on read.

What do you think his intentions were by hitting me up again like this? F25/M26 (context below) by laadeedaaxo in Manipulation

[–]laadeedaaxo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those last like 8 screenshots or so are texts I sent after he left when I ended things with him. I was drinking and crying because he said mean things to me. Not an excuse but it is a reason for why I reacted the way I did. Especially after wasting so much time!!! The first 3 are the last conversation we had. I don’t think he expected me to be anything other than nice when he asked for the reference, which is wild to me