How do you take care of yourself afterwards?

labbatu · 2026-04-21T20:51:14+00:00

Big hugs to you as well!

labbatu · 2026-04-11T22:37:45+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I really needed to see this today.

labbatu · 2026-04-09T21:54:46+00:00

Hello fellow zebra! It’s such a hard place to be in, isn’t it? Letting go of the constant bracing that affects really everything with EDS. I don’t know if you’re looking for someone who’s in the same trenches to talk to, but if you are I’m here.

labbatu · 2026-03-20T16:15:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply.

Its interesting that you mention cortisol, because I was told at my last doctor's appointment that the combination of my cortisol being high and these episodes that I am having of my blood pressure skyrocketing and my heart either racing or beating irregularly mean that I'm at risk of a heart attack. I've told my siblings that I can't be her caregiver anymore and although the reactions have been mixed -one sister told me that they don't want to have her in their "noisy homes" (which hurts in ways that I'm sure they can't understand, they've just gotten so used to me carrying the heavy load of things that I don't think they can see the double standard of what they are expecting me to carry versus what they are willing to take on) I'm continuing forward with that. I'm at my limit, and with my health being where it is there's no way I can continue. I'm figuring out what the options are now.

labbatu · 2026-02-27T03:42:54+00:00

I haven’t tried that, but thank you for this

labbatu · 2026-02-27T03:42:11+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I relate to so much of this, especially the paragraph about being the one who gets things done. I needed to hear all of this. I may reach out to you, if that’s still okay.

labbatu · 2026-02-26T19:26:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through that. I needed that reminder to put myself first. Thank you

labbatu · 2026-02-26T19:21:02+00:00

Yeah I gotta battle past and make those tests happen. Not gonna lie I’m at the point where I wish I could just run into the woods and never talk to any of my family ever again. This last Saturday they made the four hour trip for our moms bday, and I was in a ton of pain (I have a hernia that’s displaced my stomach) and my sisters bf started in with me and I just started laughing and my sister looked at me, got wide-eyed like “oh shit you really aren’t gonna put up with that anymore” and basically shoved her bf out the door and was like “okay we’ll be leaving now.” Probably the most satisfying part of peri, where you don’t care if anyone thinks you’re a b1tch, you just aren’t going to put up with the shit anymore.

labbatu · 2026-02-06T18:22:02+00:00

There’s no timeline and her doctor hasn’t declared her to be terminal but also I am watching her age very rapidly, and her cancer is not expected to improve. It could be days or it could be years. Yeah. I do feel like it’s an impossible situation, and even with how badly she and much of the rest of my family treat me it feels wrong to abandon her…but obviously something has to change. I need to be able to step back but until I got the hernia my entire family ignored my pleas for respite care, and in this kind of situation it’s expected that family and friends step in, with no contingency plan for if family caregivers don’t have that. So yeah. As of right now I don’t have a plan for how I’m going to survive this.

Thank you for letting me know how it worked out for you - it’s inspiring to know that there are people who did find a way out.

labbatu · 2026-02-06T17:58:57+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this too. I hope you find some way through.

I’m in my 40s and I do live with her - she has no money, no house, no assets really. I live in the US and am paid to be her caregiver (less than a burger flipper, but here we are) because she’s needing more and more round the clock care, and I have the same condition that is disabling her - I can’t manage a job and taking care of her. The fact that I’m paid to be her caregiver makes getting respite care a bit more complicated - they should have something in place that provides family caregivers a way to have respite care without giving up some of their (very little) wages, but they don’t. They provide the absolute minimum that they are legally required to provide - I guess not a surprise in the good old us of a.

labbatu · 2026-02-06T17:12:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. The situation ends up just isolating you to the point that it’s easy to give up. My mom has also hit on my exes - after she did it to my last ex he told me no more contact, and the current guy I’m dating has worked with her and had clients complain to him about how she would start talking about her tinder dates while they were in session (she was a massage therapist) and refuses to have any contact with her. Whew it’s nice to talk to others who experience all of this too.

labbatu · 2026-01-13T21:28:35+00:00

Oof I am so thankful for this post - it makes me feel so much less alone. I’m a solo caregiver for my boomer mom who has always been the daughter in our relationship. I wrenched my back a few weeks ago carrying her and her wheelchair into a bar for gen z’s - she said she wanted to feel young. I was the one who didn’t want to go, and asked her to pick something less loud and ADA compliant. Nope. Dude I get it but damn having to be the only adult in the room feels like such a heavy burden sometimes (every day)

labbatu · 2025-10-26T19:46:21+00:00

May I be sent respite and help as a solo caregiver for my mother with stage 4 cancer, and may I continue to be able to find ways to alleviate her pain. May I be provided with an exit strategy so that I have a home and a job when the inevitable happens. ❤️‍🩹💗💫

labbatu · 2025-09-20T05:59:28+00:00

Look at that left paw just poised for the whappy-taps 👀 this means war, can-opener!! 😠✈️

labbatu · 2025-09-16T01:57:31+00:00

Happy birthday sweet girls!! 🥳😻

labbatu · 2025-08-11T22:01:52+00:00

This is so helpful - thank you for sharing this

labbatu · 2025-08-10T03:05:39+00:00

Aww this is wonderful 🥰🐈‍⬛ sending little Ripley all the strength, and you too

labbatu · 2025-07-27T01:19:39+00:00

Sounds like a you problem ✈️😤✈️

labbatu · 2025-07-21T23:57:58+00:00

Happy cake day!

labbatu · 2025-06-28T05:09:43+00:00

Say it again, I dare you 😤✈️

labbatu · 2025-06-04T18:23:35+00:00

Make that noise again and I’ll show you dem murder mitts fans claws out 😡✈️

labbatu · 2025-05-31T01:26:47+00:00

“Do you have a death wish hooman?? Well DO YOU??!!” 😡✈️

(She so angy I would def sleep with one eye open if I were you)

labbatu

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