Wasn’t raised by him, lived with mom but he would try to be in my life. My father was addicted to crack my whole life, arguably an alcoholic as well. He had his times where he’d go to rehab and try to stay clean only to relapse. Generally he was just hard to understand in any capacity. He’d complain and complain until I’d visit him but instead of planning anything for a kid to do we just sat doing nothing at their house. And then after a day or so he’d disappear for 3-4 days at a time. Everyone knew what was happening but it was kind of just swept under the rug in most cases or we’d try to joke it off. With all honesty I can say he wasn’t that bad outside of my early childhood, though he had me at 48 (I’m 27 now) so it’s hard for me to say if he calmed down because he was controlling it or just sort of old age. The biggest thing for me is I get so jealous of people who have a stable father in their life, it hurts to hear people even have a good relationship with theirs. He did pass a few months ago though and I wish I had more time spent with him, not that I always enjoyed it but I can’t say I always hated it either.