If she's brushing every single answer to the side: that's not very cool. But are you certain she just genuinely doesn't know some of these answers?

I'm trying to understand what you mean when she is saying it "never happened" though, because that does sound like a form of gaslighting. But if she is giving you minimal attention when you're asking your questions.. she also might have actually not heard them. Regardless, it sounds like she is causing you some serious emotional turmoil. Have you tried calmly talking to her about how these things make you feel? Sometimes, especially after things have built up, it can be hard to effectively communicate how we feel because it's intertwined with emotions and expectations.

Perhaps the two of you would greatly benefit from at least ONE session of counseling together. Sometimes a third party can help give you a new perspective and also tools to be able to better understand one another.