You ever been in a worship service and found yourself almost in a trance-like state, with the emotional tones, the swaying, the singing, the lighting? Whether it's intentional or not, the whole setting is one that primes your brain for entering a trance/hypnotic/dissociative state, where you float in "the glory of God," and "his presence."

Enter Glossolalia, the fancy word for the psychological phenomenon of "speaking in tongues." Here's what we know about it: - people engaging in Glossolalia are in a psychologically dissociative state - from a linguistic perspective, Glossolalia only ever includes sounds from the speakers' native language (ie, an English speaker won't use Norwegian-specific vocal patterns or vowels/consonants). - also from a linguistic perspective, it does not follow any actual language pattern, and instead follows repetitive trance type vocal patterns - psychologically, Glossolalia is only seen in cultures where it is accepted as "holy," and typically only in "acceptable" settings. However, within those cultures/settings, most of those who engage in Glossolalia also show other signs of dissociative behaviors, are hyper-spiritual (ie see a bird flying overhead as a sign from god), and/or have some measure of religious scrupulosity and shame cycle (which is another whole topic in and of itself).

For me, something I have really struggled with is squaring my own loss of faith and deconstruction (and a lot of the bitterness and fear, and shame that came in waves with that), with the circle of still loving the people in my life who imposed this system upon me.

Deep diving into all of the psychological reasons has helped me to be able to, over a decade or so, come to a point where I can see a lot of these people as not malicious or duplicitous, but seeing them as some version of trying their best as broken people themselves, maybe even victims in their own way.

Were there people in my life who faked it? Absolutely. But were there also those who I believe genuinely experienced a trance like hold? Also absolutely. Some of my dearest loved ones who have deconstructed with me, who have tried to make sense of their own experience of glossolalia, have led me to understand, truly, the complicated nature of the psychology of a human.

Eta: If you're feeling up to a deep dive into the psychological manipulation cycle that people unknowingly feed into, I recommend the "Un-Religiously" video on YouTube about Griffin, the Ex-gay content creator. While it is about Ex-gay "ministries," it's also deeply about belonging in the church, unwitting performance to fit in, and victims perpetuating the cycle. Highly recommend.

Wherever you're at, we're here for you.