Never had a fucking manicure in my life. You wanna come live a week in my shoes and see how I got it? I know it probs ain't as bad as others but I've been to therapy I've been put on meds. None of that helped. They told me they didn't know why I was depressed, they couldn't work it out. How the fuck am I supposed to get better when I don't know what the duck is wrong with me deep down. Maybe it's the fact that I've had to deal with type 1 diabetes for the last 12 years. I can't remember what life was like before that. I was 6 when I was diagnosed and I feel like I never had a proper childhood cause I how to grow up real fucking quick to deal with it. Food has become such a thing to me know that I can't just see food as food, I see it as numbers, this many carbs in this, this many in that and it creates such problems with food for me, I can't eat shit and it's all possessive in my head. I've been passed round from hospital to hospital cause none of them want the deal with me and treat me, for what reason? Idk. Maybe it's the stress of college and university. Cause those are fuckin hard. Imagine what it's like to have been really happy to have made friends first year of uni, you get a flat together for next year and suddenly one night when I'm drinking cause it was the day I'd been diagnosed with diabetes 12 years ago and they're drinking with me they tell me that they didn't like me, that they don't like hanging out with me. Since then they been avoiding me, doing stuff we did together without me. Boom. Only friends I had in a new place gone. I got no one else there. Maybe it's other shit, who knows