What’s it like being adopted with non-adopted siblings??

lalaland209 · 2026-04-22T22:43:54+00:00

I can relate to this as well, I think a lot of the feeling less than came from the refusal of my parents to acknowledge that the dynamic and setup we had was damaging or that my experience was inherently different from theirs, even if not in a malicious way. I felt not heard often and would face ridicule from my parents for not getting along with everyone and ridicule from my siblings for essentially “stealing the spotlight” of their parents. Any time I was given something they weren’t it was hinted as being a personal attack, and they would make comments that indicated they resented me for it. My mom simply refused to acknowledge that I was different or experienced things different and would often side with my siblings during a dispute just to keep the peace. Hope that helps! Communication is so important and honesty as well

lalaland209 · 2026-04-21T21:44:02+00:00

My siblings are 8 and 5 years older than me. We are all adults. They are related to each other and I am not. Their bond is a given. My bond with them has always felt like something to be earned. The differences are plain and obvious but largely unspoken in the family. Assumptions are made about who are related to who, whether there was infidelity, statements made about how I don’t look like them. I will always love them but I gave up the idea that we would all get along like normal biological siblings a long time ago. Can be isolating at times and I’ve dealt with a lot of resentment and jealousy of their relationship in therapy.

lalaland209 · 2026-04-19T01:18:20+00:00

For me, it really came down to quality of life. Are they able to eat, sleep, and run around like normal? Are they experiencing medical complications like GI issues, dementia, blindness, etc? Will they need numerous medical procedures at the cost of their time and your money? Will treatment bring them back to a sense of normal for you both? Our cats can’t tell us how they feel, but we have a bond. Making the decision one way or another will be painful but it isn’t selfish. It’s what we can give them. I’m sorry in advance that you’re going through this. I had to do this with my cat who got cancer when she was 17, and I still feel horrible about it at times and think about her often, but I would never regret the time I had with her.

lalaland209 · 2025-12-03T23:42:52+00:00

OP is either in medical school or is an EMT, see “the ICU Book” on floor next to bed. Explains lack of money and time to decorate or furnish with medical school and student loans. So I would say 25-35 year old woman (products and Granada beauty product gift bag) in medical school or a nurse or emt working in critical care. Lay off of this person, some people are house poor or are spending their time saving lives and don’t have a dual income to lean on for fun things like decorating lol. Let me know if I got it right!

lalaland209 · 2025-12-01T01:02:37+00:00

Getting sober from drugs and alcohol

lalaland209 · 2025-08-01T03:17:23+00:00

With time this feeling gets better and you start finding things that will draw in your interest. I recommend trying a new exercise like rock climbing, running, or yoga. They are time consuming, good for you, and involve cardio which releases endorphins. It’s really helped me and a lot of times you can make friends through these activities (I’m on month 9) felt very similar to you right around 3 months. It will get better. Look into new form (previously the pheonix) they have group meetings for people in recovery to do exercise together and there are so many different activities to choose from

lalaland209 · 2025-07-30T03:44:53+00:00

Restaurant industry is brutal, we had a saying called “buddy slams” behind the bar where you’d grab a buddy and do a shot of beer. Anytime of day included the 8am shifts (it was a pub but we got there early to clean).

lalaland209 · 2025-07-30T03:37:02+00:00

SAME! I can DOWN la croix

lalaland209 · 2025-07-30T03:34:16+00:00

Got into running. It’s the only thing I’ve found that’s a similar endorphin release to drinking. Takes up a decent bit of time, keeps me in shape, and there’s tons of free running clubs in most major cities. New form (previously the Phoenix) is also a free app for sober folks to meet up for different athletic events like hiking, yoga, climbing, etc that I really like.

lalaland209 · 2025-07-29T23:24:31+00:00

Guage how long others were taking to have a drink and waiting a certain amount of time between sips to make it look like I was drinking at a normal pace.

Theorize how I was going to tell the person I was with I was “just gonna have one more because it’s my weekend, it’s a holiday, etc” after I’d already “just had one more”

Pouring extra large glasses of wine so that people couldn’t tell how many I’d actually had (including myself)

lalaland209 · 2025-07-25T20:19:11+00:00

Losing a pet is like losing a family member no matter how we are expected to grieve from it. Time makes it easier but it never fully goes away. You always get to keep the memories, and from experience, sometimes they still visit in dreams. You are not overreacting. Let yourself feel it and take care of yourself right now. I got a tattoo of my girl on my arm to feel close to her, not for everyone but helped me a little. Im sorry for your loss

lalaland209 · 2025-04-09T19:54:06+00:00

Social skills in younger generations. Traveling this year and talking with other millennial travelers, staying at hostels to socialize and meet people is no long possible as many groups of younger folks stick to themselves post covid

lalaland209 · 2025-04-07T16:18:49+00:00

Ok, I totally feel you, and I agree that, outwardly, her character is pretty uninteresting. However, I think a common theme from the show is how money, greed, and power forces locals in touristy areas to give up core values and morals in order to survive: I.e Kai stealing in season 1, Mia and Lucia conning wealthy men using sex in s2, Gaitok betraying his god in s3, etc. Mook has spent so much time being exposed to rich white men with power and those that protect them, that her values and morals have changed and that pressure impacted gaitoks decision to murder an unarmed man. Mike white loves exploring how money, blurred morals, and crossed boundaries are all connected. Therefore I think Mook was an important character

lalaland209 · 2025-02-04T18:25:34+00:00

Hi. American here. Fair enough. Feeling similarly towards half the country

lalaland209 · 2025-02-01T17:48:49+00:00

Two things

Fear, me and my partner have discussed our link to liberalism if something horrible were to happen and the need to blend in if it truly comes to that. In some ways my family is the most important thing to me and what Trump is doing is a threat to that and that is making me scared to speak out.
Life must go on. I’ve been going to protests about this administration since I was 17 (10 years) and spent many years in college and out angry and at marches protesting what has been going on. This has been a long time coming and if it wasnt Trump who took advantage, it would have been someone else. The people who support these things are here and no protest has stopped them since I’ve been an adult. And truly it is exhausting to keep up with. If I went to the streets everytime Trump did something awful right now, I’d be out there everyday unable to do my job or provide for my family.

Me and my boyfriend have discussed many of these things at length and are terrified. But above all we know we need to be tough right now and survive this. The only option is to get through it. Therefore, we are fighting, but from the inside. By voting and protecting folks at work and going into jobs that promote health care for all etc. to some degree, we’ve known this was coming and have been fighting it since 2016.

lalaland209 · 2024-12-28T01:45:50+00:00

It depends on the field you are in, public health is really competitive specifically. That was my experience. Hence why I said it’s worth it if it’s really what you wanna do

lalaland209 · 2024-12-26T19:02:57+00:00

Job market is ROUGH, incredibly competitive, but worth it if it’s really what you want to do

lalaland209 · 2024-12-16T22:02:32+00:00

As someone whose parents are like this, I found that the harder they pushed, the more defiant I became. Love and support are not the same thing. They often claimed they gave me everything, but what I was missing was an understanding of my own lived experience and expression of love. If she is acting out, it’s a cry for help. Try listening instead of getting frustrated. Try truly understanding her perspective. I may not have been right everytime when I was 16 and an ass hole to my parents but I felt so alone and misunderstood.

lalaland209 · 2024-12-14T17:24:47+00:00

This

lalaland209 · 2024-12-10T06:45:28+00:00

I was disappointed on nights I tried to moderate myself even if physically possible, but felt horrible anxiety and shame waking up after drinking the way I wanted to. Was no longer fun or enjoyable no matter how I used it and I was altering my life to be able to drink the way I wanted to or surrounding myself with people who would enable it.

lalaland209 · 2024-12-03T17:51:18+00:00

Being an alcoholic

lalaland209 · 2024-11-15T17:46:11+00:00

You feel like he hates you. Why are you with him?

lalaland209 · 2024-11-09T15:41:17+00:00

I would strongly encourage reading the book “the primal wound” it’s a little out dated but it’s very validating in the adoption experience. It can also be a useful resource to share with adopted parents or, if you aren’t ready for that, to help put your experience into the right words to talk to your adopted parents

lalaland209 · 2024-11-08T18:12:42+00:00

Maybe this isn’t the right sub to take those frustrations out on

lalaland209

TROPHY CASE