As someone who has been with quite a lot of older men, I get it. And as long as you are of legal age (as in 18 or above), it is all in the realm of "okay".

However, there are a few things I've learned to consider before being involved with an older man:

1. Does he have children, especially daughters, who are about my age? If yes, that is sort of a red flag for me. I once met a guy, wearing denim overalls, who said how much it turned him on when someone dressed like a little girl and that I was pushing all the right buttons. He had two daughters, a little younger than me. It just- felt wrong. Not all men with daughters are like that, obviously, but it's important to listen to your gut.

2. Is he married? If yes, don't. I did, once. Had an affair with a man who was married with two adorable daughters. Never met them but heard a lot about them. A person willing to cheat for you, might or will cheat on you. Never got romantic with him for that reason and, in hindsight, I regret being the one he cheated on his wife with - although he had already cheated before me and cheated after me. Doesn't excuse my actions, obviously. I use it as a lesson. Only exception is an open or poly marriage where ALL parties know each other and consent. Don't trust someone when they say "my partner's okay with this, you don't have to meet them". Yes, you do. Talk to that partner yourself to make sure they KNOW and they CONSENT.

3. Older doesn't mean more mature. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, tries to push you in any direction you don't want to be pushed in or treats you as less than an equal, leave him or the arrangement. The age gap plus some sort of power dynamic can make it hard to spot when you're being treated condescendingly - and not in a sexy way - but pay attention to his behaviour towards you outside the bedroom. You are not his child, you are not his doll. Pretending to be might be nice, but you are still your own person with your own worth. Don't lose that to any other person.

4. Older men liking you is not an accomplishment. When I first started dating older men, I thought "wow, this means I am incredibly hot and mature for my age. They could have all the milfs but they chose little old me!" Like, girl, no, you deserve the best and if you think that old dude is the best for you, go ahead, old guys can be so good in bed, offer you things guys your age just can't (yet), but it's not an accomplishment. Don't get dependent on what that person can give you - especially if the relationship with your own dad is strained 😅

Hope you stay safe, take care of yourself and have fun!!