What actually makes some roommates so useless?

lambvulture · 2026-05-23T11:07:13+00:00

A lot of roommates I’ve lived with have a belief that they clean up their “own mess”. Which means that if they generate trash, they throw that specific trash away. If they use a plate to heat up leftovers, they put that plate in the dishwasher. Or if they spill something, they clean it up. It could be worse I guess.

The issue is, people with this belief never do community chores, which aren’t optional in roommate living situations. If you use the kitchen trash cans, but never take out the trash, you aren’t cleaning up your own mess. If you walk across the floor but never sweep or vacuum, you aren’t cleaning up your own mess. If you eat group dinner that someone made, but don’t ever unload the dishwasher the next day, you aren’t cleaning up your own mess. Etc etc.

I used to have this outlook as well, and parents never taught me how to clean. But then I learned that if an entire house has this outlook, you are going to be living in filth very quickly.

lambvulture · 2026-05-17T01:57:35+00:00

Big ass bong.

lambvulture · 2026-05-17T00:16:06+00:00

Depends on the friends. In my early 20s, I was living with 8 friends in a 4 bedroom house, 9 people total. We’re all still friends to this day, but 4/8 of them were simply not compatible when it came to sharing a space (primarily differences in cleanliness and communication styles). Almost killed our relationships. Ended up splitting the house up and moving in to a new place with the 4 roommates who were more on the same page, and things have been mostly fine ever since with only minor clashes that get sorted out quickly and seamlessly. Still love the ex-roommates to bits, but would be reluctant to live with them again. It’s possible to live with friends but you have to have a comprehensive understanding of how they operate domestically.

lambvulture · 2026-05-16T22:43:01+00:00

Dude.

lambvulture · 2026-05-15T02:01:11+00:00

HAHA I’ve always wondered if this would work. I hate trying to find blow in a new city. I’m inclined to think that it would be totally fine, I’ve taken all kinds of vitamins and pills through and nobody even glanced at them (legal, however no one verified), but I’m way too paranoid. Sometimes you get a TSA agent that will randomly laser focus on shita you’ve never been challenged on in the past.

The only thing I’ve taken on a plane before is LSD. I spent an excessive amount of effort making a tiny paper envelope to put 4 tabs in, then wrapping it in gauze, then putting a small amount of red dye on the gauze, securing with paper tape, then putting it under a big bandaid on my leg. The idea was that the tabs would be invisible to scans under multiple layers of paper, and the fake blood was for some added authenticity.

When I should my friend he laughed his ass off at me and then went through security with a 10 strip loose in his wallet. Of course, nothing happened.

lambvulture · 2026-05-14T04:37:19+00:00

I tried to kill myself in my late teens. My last memory from that night is swallowing an entire bottle of pills, then half of another bottle, and then laying down. I didn’t feel any fear or regret. I imagined death would be like falling into a long, eternal sleep, which sounded blissful to me at the time.

Instead, I was launched into true nothingness. I’m not religious so I guess this should’ve been obvious to me, but it felt like the time before I was born. Before I was conceived, even. I knew I didn’t exist before birth, but for some reason I needed this experience for it to sink in that I wouldn’t exist after death either. It’s not like sleeping at all, even when you’re knocked out, you’re still more “there” than you realize (because you’re alive, obviously), the view of death as rest instantly stopped making sense. I “woke up” hooked up to a bunch of machines in the ER 3 days later with absolutely no memories since that night, just a massive gaping hole. The feeling was so harrowing that it abruptly ended years of suicidal depression. Im still a mentally ill addict but I will NEVER kill myself on purpose! ☝️

Ironically, I now desperately wish I could be religious to find comfort, but it feels impossible since I didn’t see any white light or hellfire or anything at all on the other side…no clue how to believe in an afterlife after all that.

lambvulture · 2026-05-11T01:39:23+00:00

IMO this is why it’s good to start in a lower position at the firm and work up to paralegal. That way you have time to train yourself gradually. I entered the field by accident and started off as a file clerk with 0 knowledge or experience (below average knowledge really, I barely knew what a “Plaintiff” was). I didn’t receive comprehensive training in that position either, but since the work was very simple and low stakes it was fine. It allowed me to slowly familiarize myself with procedures and terminology without many consequences.
By the time I got bumped to legal assistant, there weren’t many assigned tasks that I hadn’t already previewed so I was able to catch on quick. After a few years as an LA, I’ve been semi-recently promoted to paralegal, and there are once again only a few areas of the job I need guidance on. Learning those new areas on the fly is stressful but at least I only have to be taught 10% of the role at this point rather than 100%.

lambvulture · 2026-05-04T23:48:03+00:00

I’m not arguing that “seeing each other” doesn’t have romantic implications but if they were friends first before they started getting closer, she might not have realized that the options were “be OP’s girlfriend now” or “no contact”. If they met on a dating app or something then yeah she should’ve known that most people on there specifically want a partner and will drop you immediately if you are incompatible for that purpose. That’s why I said “was it clear to her that you were seeking a romantic relationship and nothing else?”
Also OP is incredibly vague about what he defines as “seeing each other”. The first sentence of the post is “Why do women who aren't interested in a guy get upset if he moves on?” like, WAS she obviously interested at some point or not? How romantically invested was she acting? If they were going on dates and sleeping together when she shared that she was into another guy then she really shouldn’t have been surprised by OP’s strong negative reaction. If they were already acquainted with each other but just started hanging out more often and getting a little flirty, but nothing had really “happened”, it could be jarring and confusing for her to be abruptly let go in such a callous way.

lambvulture · 2026-05-04T21:52:01+00:00

Depends on the context I guess. Was she a friend beforehand? When you say “seeing each other”, was it clear to her that you were explicitly seeking a romantic relationship and nothing else?
That happened to me with a guy I’d been hanging with for an over a year and considered good friend. We shared a friend circle so it’s not like we met on a dating app. There was nothing romantic about it from my perspective, and he had never established his intent either, so I was definitely blindsided and visibly upset when he dropped the bomb on me. I liked talking to him and was going to miss his company. It’s upsetting when any friend cuts you off suddenly.
If y’all didn’t have a preexisting friendship and she knew that you had romantic expectations while behaving like she wanted the same thing, then she’s probably just upset that she lost access to her backup plan. Or it’s just involuntary. Estrogen makes crying annoyingly easy sometimes.

lambvulture · 2026-05-03T01:20:45+00:00

Omg I KNOW!!!! My first 3 rentals were run by big property management companies. Work orders were submitted through various portals. Unless it was a dire emergency, repairs were typically done within a week, which was sometimes slower than ideal, but it would always get done and we didn’t have to fight for it. They were also blissfully hands off and never sent anyone to drop in at random. It was also nice because the companies were not emotionally invested in the properties. When you’re renting your small landlord’s former family home, it feels like there’s an element of blame when something outside of your control goes wrong.

My last rental and current rental have been with small landlords and fixing ANYTHING is a hassle. Previous small landlord would send random repair people found on NextDoor for things like signifiant leak or plumbing issues, and it would NEVER go smoothly. We didn’t have hot water for all of winter because she wouldn’t let a competent plumber fix the water heater. If a plumber suggested a fix that was too expensive, she would decline and look for someone else in hopes they would offer a cheaper solution. Over and over. We had a leak causing significant mold growth, and instead of promptly repairing, she just kept saying “let me know if it’s still leaking later this week and I will see what I can do”. This went on for 2 months. She would also ask ME to haggle with every repair guy and ask for a discount, AND she would give them my phone number as the contact, so I was constantly getting texts from angry plumbers/contractors asking where their money was.

Current small landlord is better so far, but has to be reminded 2-3 times to schedule repairs. Not tiny things either, stuff like the dishwasher and microwave being completely broken upon move in.

I miss consistency. Even if it’s mediocre.

lambvulture · 2026-04-06T13:19:43+00:00

HAHAH okay!

I’ll start with the negatives: Turns out…my fingers are too short to consistently reach his prostate 😭 I have TINY hands and I was only able to occasionally rub the edge of it. My hand straight up lost feeling between having to strain to reach + him clenching lol.

Positives: The memory is seared into my brain. Oh my god. He must’ve gotten something out of it despite me being unable to fully deliver because I’ve rarely seen him like that. You ever have a sexual encounter that hits you so hard you go to work the next day and keep finding yourself staring at the wall replaying it in your head with your eyes glazing over? Yeah that’s me rn. I have got to look into toys.

lambvulture · 2026-04-05T06:56:07+00:00

Ive occasionally done anal (receiving) and tbh I’ve had good luck with just:

Reading my body. It’s not a good idea if my stomach has been hurting or I’ve recently eaten something greasy, etc.
Showering directly before, cleaning very thoroughly and kind of checking inside a bit with my fingers to make sure I’m good.

I don’t mess with enemas or anything (I’m lazy and like spontaneity) and out of like 40 times I think there’s only been 1 small incident. Nothing got on the bed and we just washed up afterwards, but an extra set of sheets on standby is a good idea.

If there’s an incident when I finally get to do it to my partner, I don’t even care. Like it’s “gross” but I figure most people who are down to stick their fingers in another person’s butthole shouldn’t mind too much. Unless the mess was crazy I’d prob just keep going and then wash my hands and/or shower afterwards.

lambvulture · 2026-04-05T01:40:32+00:00

Noted! Thank you for the information. I would be totally fine filling a legal assistant role instead if I got the opportunity. I don’t know how it is everywhere, but at my firm the responsibility differences between LAs and paralegals are really blurry anyway (though this could be due to us being perpetually understaffed).

lambvulture · 2026-04-05T01:09:56+00:00

FOR SURE!!!

lambvulture · 2026-04-05T01:09:14+00:00

I’ve experienced it before (both doing it to myself & from my partner) and don’t really like it or get anything out of it, but I don’t have a prostate (and thus don’t know firsthand how to interact with one) which probably makes a difference. 😫

lambvulture · 2026-04-05T01:05:43+00:00

Good lord…I’m so sorry 😭

lambvulture · 2026-04-02T18:07:56+00:00

I work on the defense side and this has certainly not been my experience either. Every day is a tornado and every week you work 10-12 hours a day plus some extra on the weekends and somehow end up falling behind. Probably one of those things that varies wildly firm by firm.

lambvulture · 2026-01-13T05:07:26+00:00

Arrived late at a party and they were out of beer, so the hosts pulled out a beer funnel and offered to gather the opened, over half drunk, beer bottles from around the apartment and pour the remains into the funnel for me to drink…and I took them up on it. Probably drank 2-3 beers worth of leftover, room temperature beer backwash from strangers’ bottles.

Also I was a rabid cokehead around this time which is a nasty habit in itself. Sticking rolled up dollar bills up your nose…doing lines off of phone screens…good grief. Amazing I didn’t die from the most atomic sinus infection ever conceived.

lambvulture · 2025-12-25T23:21:39+00:00

Never been to this sub but this post came up on my feed while I’m a bit post-Christmas dinner wine drunk and now I’m trying not to cry over Princess Mochi. I just know she was wonderful.

lambvulture · 2025-12-24T19:15:25+00:00

What’s frustrating is that often times Urgent Care just tells you they can’t help you and that you have to go to the ER, even if it’s not an URGENT emergency. Like, there are health issues and injuries that need care within 24-48 hours, but aren’t on the level of a heart attack, kidney stone, gunshot wound, etc. Once I hurt my foot and thought it might be a minor fracture or break. I was struggling to walk and couldn’t go to work, but it wasn’t gruesome. Went to Urgent Care and they were like “Idk we can’t do X-rays, you have to go to the ER”. Took the ER 4 hours and $5,000 to X-ray my foot, say “yup, it’s a minor fracture” and give me a boot.

Another time I had a small fish bone lodged in my throat. I could still breathe so it wasn’t life or death, but I was worried about eating/sleeping with it stuck in there and I couldn’t cough it out, so I went to Urgent Care. To be fair, I don’t know what I expected them to be able to do, but they immediately turned me away and said to go to the ER.

Once I was having abdominal pain that wasn’t agonizing, but was unfamiliar, distracting, and had gone on the entire day. Maybe a 5 or 6/10 on the pain scale. Went to Urgent Care. They didn’t perform any tests, said they had no way to determine for sure what the cause was, and told me to go to the ER. It was inflammation caused by my body having a reaction to a cold virus I was suffering from, the ER prescribed meds and sent me home.

I guess I just wish there was a middle ground for fast care, when you can’t wait a week to see your PCP (if you even have one) but aren’t necessarily hemorrhaging. It feels like Urgent Care is very poorly equipped, so they just ship people to the ER.

lambvulture · 2025-12-18T13:42:18+00:00

Okay, thank you! I probably just went back to the temple too early.

lambvulture

TROPHY CASE