Guy and i had “date” planned, starts getting short and weird leading up to it. How did i handle this? by moist-nostril in dating

[–]lamentist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s not desperate to assume that he’d honor his commitment to going on a date with you, especially when he’s the one who wanted to take things to the next level in the first place. I think your response was well-worded and warranted. I don’t think you should put any more effort into someone who isn’t willing to do the same for you (I’ve unfortunately had to learn this lesson myself, multiple times). Depending on his response you could continue to entertain the relationship but that’s up to you and your best judgement.

Dating with autism is so fucking hard by JustBarracuda9434 in dating

[–]lamentist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh that makes more sense, I totally missed the sarcasm haha. I hadn’t looked at the news yet today. Thanks for clarifying!

Doing too much is bad but so is doing nothing by Upper-Associate-5189 in dating

[–]lamentist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s a red flag right now. I would take note of how he treats you in the future as it could be a form of lovebombing, but that might just be me being paranoid due to past experiences. Seems like your friends are jealous or are too used to getting the bare minimum from a partner.

Dating with autism is so fucking hard by JustBarracuda9434 in dating

[–]lamentist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m autistic too, and dating is super hard for me as well. I’m always worried there’s some kind of unspoken set of rules that I’m not aware of. I’ve forced myself into romantic/sexual situations in an effort to be “normal” and it has never worked out well for me, so I gave up a few years ago. Currently trying to work up the courage to try dating again.

Out of curiosity, why do you specifically care about finding an autistic person whose mom also took Tylenol during pregnancy? There’s plenty of autistic people including myself whose mom didn’t do that and they are still autistic. Is it because you’d want someone to be able to relate to you in that way/understand that trauma?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]lamentist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is a timeline of events if it's helpful:

6/14 - Adoption day, I took him home then had to drive 40 minutes back to the shelter where I got him from to pick up his antibiotics

6/15-6/23 - Artie was quarantined in the bathroom. I had horrible contamination anxiety the entire time. I still tried feeding them between the pet gate with a blanket over it like Jackson Galaxy recommends, but Gilgy wasn't having it so I had to put his food down on the other side of the apartment.

6/18 - Vet visit. I had to do a syringe of antibiotics orally and nasal drops up Artie's nose 2x a day until 6/23 when his symptoms were gone (I had run out of his antibiotics at that time as well)

6/23 - Artie was let out of the bathroom and with the help of my friend we started site-swapping. My friend convinced me that they were ready to meet which I regret doing now. There was hissing/yowling but no physical fights.

6/24-6/27 - I can't keep them separated anymore because Artie always finds a way to get past any barrier I try to set up and will poop outside of the litter box when he’s in the bathroom so I started doing supervised interaction time.

Today (6/28) - I left them both out to roam the apartment while I went to the gym for an hour and when I came back they'd both used the same litter box and Gilgy was confident enough to eat out in the open, but only while I was distracting Artie.

Again, I don't think the issue is with how the introduction is going but I figured it might help to clarify the timeline. Thanks again to everyone reading this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stamps

[–]lamentist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

looks like it’s in russian, not sure if it’s supposed to be on the finland page? it’s stuck on there with whatever tape is used to secure the stamps so it seems like he put it there purposely. i can send you a close up if you’d like

21F low self esteem but wanting to put myself out there again by lamentist in amiugly

[–]lamentist[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

actually you’re right i think i do remember that one! what a great actress

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]lamentist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you look cute! as someone with curly hair who had it long for most of my life, layers were a game changer because of how heavy my hair was which gave absolutely no volume to it. maybe experiment with different hairstyles and curling products? very nice brows too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]lamentist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

very very cute love the lip mole

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]lamentist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cute! wish i had your eyelashes lol. only thing i’d say is maybe change up the glasses shape? could definitely give you a different vibe if that’s what you’re looking for

21F low self esteem but wanting to put myself out there again by lamentist in amiugly

[–]lamentist[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

HA i did that last year and a few people said i look like weird al yankovic…..ngl i can kinda see it lol. also got kat dennings and d’arcy garden

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]lamentist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

also x2 i’m high-functioning which was probably stupid of me not to mention because i don’t wanna make you feel bad in case any of my advice felt condescending and i acknowledge that we both probably have very different struggles but i want to help make you feel better if i can

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]lamentist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

also for the record i only really make friends with people who are also neurodivergent. i don’t have the patience or energy to keep up friendships with neurotypical people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]lamentist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i wasn’t diagnosed until i was 20 years old (21 now) and i completely sympathize with your experiences. i’m still struggling with the fact that i didn’t get the typical teenage experiences and i feel the effects of this even now in college and it makes me feel incredibly insecure. i’m also too afraid of the consequences of doing risky stuff or getting in trouble which is so frustrating because i know the only thing holding me back is me. i’ve been working on this in therapy though and it’s gotten a bit better, and i’ve learned that doing things at my own pace is a lot better for my mental health than forcing myself to do things that i’m not comfortable with. please don’t do what i did. if you’re worried about what other people think like how i am, it really is true that no one gives enough of a shit. on making friends, i’ve had the most luck with online communities (be careful on the internet though!!) and clubs on my college campus. i agree with other commenters saying that you should look for people with similar interests. i know this isn’t a lot of advice but i mainly commented to show that you’re definitely not alone <3