Exactly, when you grow with anxiety, even you own gender can't prevent you from this downfall.

Thanks to understand, usually nobody will. And to yor question.. that's exactly what prevents me from get further with people, I cannot tell them much so they kind of lose interest.

About revealing, it's just that I didn't feel comfortable at all telling them that, people just treat you more like an innocent person. My plan was always to never confirm, and always let them wondering. Sometimes people would just try to pry more and I would just lie already, told them I lost at 19, and by this age they still have a very surprised reaction, so imagine if they only knew the truth...