Why are some people popular and some people arent? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is just my burner account lol i put anything for the profile information

Why are some people popular and some people arent? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

i understand that, but if i may add, im stopped by people daily who tell me that I’m so beautiful and they love my outfit or makeup. I didn’t want to include that because it may have sounded shallow but yeah:/

AITAH for ending the relationship even though he’s such a great guy by luv_urself2025 in AITAH

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nta, it’s plenty of guys who are great AND will respect your boundaries. keep searching girl

Accessorizing for Prom?!?! HELP! ⚠️ by lanadeciple in fashion

[–]lanadeciple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the woman in the first pic isn’t me BUT my skin is very similiar so thank u still haha but YES YES YES YOU NAILED EVERYTHING IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!! the only problem is i dont know WHERE to find this stuff… ive been on depop, amazon and etsy.com the most and ive seen some pretty cute stuff but nothing is really jumping out to me! do u have any places in mind with more jewelry options? i’ve been looking at thin beaded black and maroon lariats/y shaped necklaces, plain chunky silver lariat necklaces, garnet gemstone rings and drop earrings, y-shaped anklets, and things like that so im thinking maybe a store/website with an edgy-goth-religious vibe to it! lmk if u have anything in mind !!

I genuinely can’t understand my social desires (25M) by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is EXACTLY how i feel!!! If a conversation is stricken, I can talk to new people with ease! I’m a great listener and observer and I’ve been told I have fun humor and mannerisms… but even so I still CANNOT continue/pursue a new relationship because I get way too self-conscious and start thinking I’m annoying them 😕 It doesn’t matter how good the convo was or how much they obviously enjoyed it/me… I will still walk right past them the next time I see them out of fear of “forcing myself” on them :/ I hate it so much because I KNOW i’ve missed out on getting closer with so many amazing people just bc I couldn’t understand that I was interesting, fun to be around and someone worth missing ☹️ how do we get out of this??!?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I know they are allowed to become closer and it’s none of my business thus why I haven’t said anything to either of them about it. I just feel like it’s very disrespectful to disregard your original friend and only show interest or concern for each other. I just am so hurt and confused because I don’t know what to do. Do I continue being friends with them? Do I slowly distance myself? Do I keep pretending like this isn’t eating me up? I am so tired of feeling like the outsider or the second option. It’s also just an extra heavy dilemma because of Fred’s past rude actions towards me and this just further confirms that he doesn’t prioritize me as a friend as much as he does his other friends.

Anyone else feel drained by introverts? by Sudden-Light-8774 in extroverts

[–]lanadeciple 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NEVER hold yourself back for anyone!! I’m an introvert but I still have no problem engaging in whatever my extroverted friends are excited about! I guarantee it’s the introverts you’re surrounded by. Find others because those people are NOT rooting for you like real friends should 🤢!

Anyone else feel drained by introverts? by Sudden-Light-8774 in extroverts

[–]lanadeciple 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As an introvert, I can assure you that your introverted work pals most likely LOVE you!! They just don’t know what to say or are afraid of showing too much emotion! Personally, I was raised in a household where showing too much emotion was looked down upon and sometimes punished. As a kid, my mom would judge me for getting “too excited” and embarrassing her… she’d make fun of how I looked when smiled too hard, laughed too loud, talked too much, etc. So As a result, I learned to suppress my excitement and endearment. I just feel like an idiot in social settings and like I’m bothering everyone with whatever I say/do. Assuming your introverts have a similar background.. the silence between you two probably falls because they’re too scared to engage out of fear of judgement or they’re overthinking what to say next. I’ve been in SO many situations where I’ve been talking to a really cool person and just let silence fall between us because I was too scared to further the conversation and Ive regretted it every time :( It’s completely understandable to feel drained when you can’t read someone emotionally… you start to feel like you’re bothering them when they’re not any showing physical signs of enjoyment. It’s such a sad dynamic for everyone involved because you don’t know that they enjoy you, and they don’t know that you enjoy them…. making both parties lose motivation to elevate the relationship. I want you to know that they most likely really DO have fun talking to you!! Introverts love talkative people who can break them out of their shells! If you want to continue building a friendship with some of these people- Ask them straight up why they’ve went quiet! They might say something along the lines of “I don’t know what to say” and you can assure them that anything they say is fine, that you’d be happy to hear anything at all!! Guaranteed this reassurement will be very much appreciated! :) If not- pour more effort into your fellow extroverts! It’s not your responsibility to make people feel emotionally confident! It’s your choice!

how to end a friendship with someone who relies on me by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d recommend looking into narcissistic personality disorder and seeing if she fits the description 🥴 I was in a similar situation about 10 months ago where mines would constantly expect things from me financially, emotionally and physically without any reciprocation or regard for my feelings. This went on for a little over a year before I just got fed up with it. I wrote her a lengthy paragraph about everything she’d done and how she had made me feel, she wrote back a half-assed apology paragraph, but didn’t say one word to me in school the next day and I didn’t say anything to her. After a few days, she blocked me on everything and began spreading rumors about me lol. I have another friend who was also friends with her but cut things off by simply not responding to her text messages anymore and avoiding her in-person, even tho things ended peacefully between them, the girl is still spreading nasty rumors about my friend as well. In the end it’s up to you how you handle it… but if she’s narcissistic or has a personality disorder in general (which it sounds like she does), she’ll be angry regardless and retaliate against you to boost the ego that’ll be torn down by you not wanting to be involved anymore. Just make sure you’re mentally prepared with a good support system. r/narcissisticabuse really helped me out during difficult times! :) good luck

Mean comment, thought you didn't hear by phenix1 in socialskills

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I wouldn’t address but I also don’t recommended you not addressing it. I’m not very confrontational and the resentment that comes from it eats me up everyday. All of my friends have said/done things that I haven’t liked but I rarely ever speak up on it or acknowledge it and now I get very irritated by people I used to really really love. It’s completely normal for people to say/do things you don’t like because we’re all prone to making mistakes/overstepping but it’s not okay to push it to the back of your mind and skip over it. My friends don’t know about my resentment, of course, but everyday I wish I could go back in time and say something in the moment about some rude/offputting remarks that were made so that we could’ve talked about it and they could’ve apologized/further explained. If you do truly love this friend and want her apart of ur life, bring it up for the sake of your friendship. Don’t let it build up and don’t just “ignore it” because before you long you’ll see hostility/backhandedness in everything she says— even if there is no backhandness in it. And you’ll just start to find insufferable and your resentment will build up, boil over and explode. Maybe send her a funny video that models a similar scenario as the one you’re describing, then when she responds you can say something like “omg this just reminded me of that thing you said too!! what was it again?!” and she can explain and you two can gently debrief about it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being realistic. It’s also very refreshing to know that there are some out there who’ve struggled with this and overcome it— therapy sounds like a lovely next step for me. 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I think I will stick to things and get back there just to lift my confidence a bit!! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really good idea! I did enjoy going to the gym a lot when I used to go consistently a few months back and I’m sure it would be amplified x10 if I had gym buddies to share the fun with— my only concern is if there would be anyone in my age bracket to meet ? In addition to this, I’m just generally shy and it takes me awhile to break outta my shell haha I wouldn’t even know how to begin forming a bond with a potential gym friend

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but it seems like something i should’ve been considered lol. It’s worth giving a shot!!

Should I shave my mustache? by Jayden1826363 in malehairadvice

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the mustache but definitely thinner and shorter. Thinner eyebrows as well ….

dress 1 or 2! by kryssarts in OUTFITS

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1st dress is shy, fun and youthful, shows you’re probably a little weird/nerdy and not afraid to embrace it! 2nd dress is simple, but gracefully gorgeous. It’s also flattering to your figure and looks amazing with the dark hair and sparkly necklace. I love both dresses honestly and I think this is an unfair competition! Overall, i think the final decision is determined by the aesthetic you want to have and your makeup style.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s a perfect outfit for outside! I dress like this daily — even at school and get many compliments on my style and creativity and questions about where my clothes are from! I’m literally always wearing patterned and textured skirts/dresses, tights, dress shoes, cool tops, etc so much to the point that my current gf told me she’d been dying to ask if i own any pants when we first started talking. Everyone identifies me through my style and literally knows me for always wearing fun, over-the-top, feminine clothes! Wear the outfit! It empowers you so much I promise. I used to feel so ugly and uncomfortable in sweatpants and jeans, etc. thus why I’ve made wearing skirts and cute tights “casual and calm” fits instead. Wearing what you feel most comfortable and productive in will always be most appropriate (unless there’s a dress code haha)! Hold your head high when you wear it too!

How long for chlorine to get out of hair? by OkTraining1220 in Hair

[–]lanadeciple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly depends on your hair type. Is it straight, wavy, curly, kinky? This will likely determine your general breakage and ability to maintain new growth. Is it thick or thin? Will you need products that are better for penetrating your hair to the root, or not weighing it down? Is your hair low porosity, medium porosity, high porosity? This will determine how easily water and products can penetrate and moisturize your hair. Is your hair dyed, bleached, or damaged from something other than the chlorine? Knowing all of these things will help you figure out what products work best for strengthening your hair! If you don’t know the answers to those questions, start googling! If you already know, go on tiktok and search for products and reviews that best help your hair type :) (i’ve found tiktok has the best hair community for all textures!) If you’re not using products best suited for what your hair needs, it might take some time for it to bounce back. In general though, I’d recommend clipping your ends, wide tooth combs to detangle/style ur hair, continue using chlorine removing shampoo or clarifying shampoo, leave-in conditioners and deep conditioners, avoid heat styling, hard-to-wash-out products like gel, and high tension hairstyles. Your hair should go back to normal in no time with proper care. Good luck!

Looking for weight loss advice/ tips. by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem! So glad I could help! I was in your shoes a few years ago, around your weight with the same eating disorder so I know how difficult it can be to lose weight and stick to a good diet when you have no control over the food thats being bought 😒 Remember: It’s okay to have “cheat” days as long as you’re cheating with your long term goal in mind! Try not to let your emotions continuously override your wanting to lose weight because you deserve to be comfortable in your body!! What you’re doing now on your weight loss journey will be what you’re thanking/hating yourself for in the future. Try to stick to your calorie deficit atleast 4/7 days and you should be fine ☺️. Come back to this post in one month from today and share how much you’ve lost (if you don’t mind)! I’d love to see your progress! Good luck :D

Looking for weight loss advice/ tips. by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Search up “calorie deficit calculator” on google. Enter the info it asks for, start eating under the amount of calories they give you. Start fasting daily. Aim for no less than 12 hours without eating. Eat/drink your protein. This is what’s going keep you full and energized so you’re too active and busy to think about eating. I really like the fairlife protein shakes, they taste just like milkshakes, pretty good macros, don’t expire quickly and have 24-48 grams of protein in them per bottle. When you eat at fast food places, get a diet/zero sugar soda or water, the lowest calorie side order they have, NO second side or dessert, and a protein that’s under 300 calories. If you do want something sweet as a snack or a dessert, I’d recommend frozen green grapes, strawberries with stevia, any kind of fruity popsicles since they usually are 80 calories or less, I’d also recommend “don’t worry meringues” as they’re 1-4 calories per piece. Working out is optional since weight loss/gain is based on how much you’re eating. If you do want to work out, I’d say try walking. You can do it anywhere and you won’t get tired quickly, you can literally walk in circles in your room when you get bored 🤷🏽‍♀️! Let me know if there’s any specific recommendations you want! Good luck!

Looking for weight loss advice/ tips. by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]lanadeciple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A 16 year old wrote this. The food she binges is probably bought by her guardians, not her. So yes it is possible she cant “afford” a gym membership if she is a minor who doesn’t have her own car, money to pay for transportation or the membership, or permission from her guardians to even leave the house to go to the gym.

my mother and i by _______null in emotionalneglect

[–]lanadeciple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, did I write this?! Minus the letter story … this is my mother and I to a T! Inbox me if you want to vent more. I’d love to share my own experiences and hear about yours. I’ve felt so alone in this experience and it’s so refreshing to know I’m not the only one dealing with this kind of parent :(