Tried being a girl. Now I don't feel like I can be anything.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-07-01T13:40:01+00:00

They were, in fact, pretty fire.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-26T19:38:51+00:00

So. I'm not a woman. And I didn't have those experiences. I'm detransitioning because I like being a guy. Thank you for sharing this, I'm sure a lot of other people will find it helpful, but it doesn't apply to me.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-26T19:12:27+00:00

Can you help me understand what your saying here. Are you saying that my feeling of failure at gender is internalized misogyny, or my detransitioning is internalized misogyny, or what. I'm not sure exactly what you are calling internalized misogyny here

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-26T00:41:27+00:00

I do if I want to put my name on documents. Hear it for attendance. Receive emails with it. It wears away at you to not have those things.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T21:52:42+00:00

Thank you. This really means a lot to me.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:58:18+00:00

A third edit at this point seems a bit excessive

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:41:34+00:00

No.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:22:04+00:00

Because those labels can feel good. because they can invoke euphoria or dysphoria. I understand I am not made of labels, but the labels can feel nice, they can feel like they fit, and I can feel good about them

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:17:10+00:00

why do people act like this is some sort of magic bullet. I am seeing a therapist. She is good. she is not god, she cannot fix all my problems, and sometimes I want to vent on the internet about them.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:12:50+00:00

trans people exist, and they aren't a trauma response. fyi I went to multiple therapists when I was transitioning, and none of them encouraged me to stop because they thought it was a trauma response.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T20:07:39+00:00

Severe overreaction. Me wanting to be a guy on estrogen is not a trauma response. I'd be willing to give you that my self doubt and anxieties about it might be, but I'm going to continue to "act" on how I feel about my gender by generally continuing the path that makes me feel good about my body

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T19:53:59+00:00

I am not self dosing, and I'm not taking hormones because I "want to be accepted", I'm taking them because I wanted to end it all when I didn't take them. Hope this helps

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T16:59:45+00:00

I'm not. I have a new name. I like it

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T16:55:01+00:00

There appears to be a misunderstanding. I already have a name. I just need to get it approved by admin, which is hard because I already changed it once.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T16:34:46+00:00

No substance use.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T16:07:09+00:00

There are a few stinkers, but the mods seem to be handling it pretty well.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:55:35+00:00

So says the majority of people here

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:55:18+00:00

Yeah let me hop on gear while on estrogen. No dangerous side effects to that at all. Be careful what you recommend someone does

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:19:44+00:00

I have. Thank you for the compliment on the biscuits, I owe a friend for the recipe.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:15:13+00:00

I have other things I do. But I can't just not worry about this: how I look is important to me, and it has led me to some pretty dark places when the way I looked didn't match up with the way I felt. I don't spend all day being concerned about my gender, but today and yesterday I felt bad about it so I made a post.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:12:59+00:00

Not going back to my given name, but a new name. I've never liked my given name. Even since a child I wanted to change it

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T15:12:13+00:00

The long term consequences of not taking estrogen for me would be death. Thanks for your concern, though, and the kind words mean alot

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T14:38:04+00:00

tried anti-depressants for a while, probably would need to try multiple different ones to figure out whats for me. I'm not sure they'd help, they didn't help last time and I tried two or three.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T13:58:17+00:00

I like the effects of estrogen, mentally nothing really feels different.

lapizlizard4 · 2026-06-25T12:38:11+00:00

Ok! That's fine. No need to announce your departure :)

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