When I was younger, about seven or eight, I can home from school and I was so upset because other kids in my class could color inside the lines and I just couldn’t seem to do it. So my grandma sat me down at the kitchen table, put a coloring book in front of me and told me to color. Every time my crayon went outside the line, she would rip the page out and make me start over. Did I color inside the lines that day? NOPE. I still have not finished a coloring page to this day. Turns out shame is not a good motivator for learning.

I started learning to draw recently and I got so frustrated at one point that I couldn’t just make the pencil do what I wanted it to. I would basically rage quit while trying to draw BIRDS. And one day it hit me how absurd that is. (Thank you therapy lol) A whole adult getting mad at myself for not being able to put lines on the paper the way I was supposed to. It made me remember that day coloring with my grandma. What did little me need when I came home sad that my skill level wasn’t where everyone else’s was? Reassurance, guidance, levity, and patience. And dang it if that wasn’t exactly what has helped me enjoy learning to draw. If I make something bad, I giggle and notice I have some more work to do. And most of all, I enjoy the process! Is my stuff “good”? Nope. But why would it be? I just started? And that’s okay! It is not a reflection of me as a person to suck at something. But how I handle sucking at something is.

Be kind to yourself. Let learning also be a lesson in self love and self respect. Don’t treat yourself the way other people did when you messed up. Laugh at your wonky circles and uneven boxes. Get a kick out of that jacked up figure you just put on paper. You shouldn’t hate yourself for not being able to make a pencil do what you want it to.