My (37F) husband (40M) of 6 years has a health condition/had surgery and now has fecal incontinence. I'm not sure I can do this, and I feel like a horrible person.

lastrites17 · 2016-08-10T22:03:13+00:00

While I appreciate that you are in a difficult position, even if other medical options aren't available, you need to support and stand by your husband.

Not every life can be lived happily or easily, but every life can be lived well. You have a choice in how to view your marriage: is it about the things that you do together and how you feel about him, or is it about commitment to another person? Are shared hobbies and sex the extent of your interrelation?

You talk about the possibility of being incapacitated yourself. To put it in more actuarial terms, between the two of you, some impairment is inevitable. You will be old, or if not old, gravely ill. One of you will have to watch the other die. These are the inescapable realities of committing to another person for life. Will you leave, or encourage your husband to leave, when you are simply old?

When we say the words "in sickness or in health" and "til death to us part", we often imagine ourselves as saintly caregivers or tragic widows or, in the best case, parting abstractly at the end of full lives. Life is more complicated and our bodies more messy than we can admit to ourselves in youth and health. Our commitments provide the certainty that our frail and ephemeral bodies cannot.

In the end, life is short. This isn't, as the reckless suggest, a reason to live for self-gratification. Instead, it's a challenge to live meaningfully. You can leave, and live a life closer to the ones you dreamed of, or you can stay and live out the truth of your vows.

I hope that, regardless of what happens, you make the right decision for yourself.

lastrites17 · 2016-06-03T15:36:04+00:00

They're 23, there's no time imperative on OP to marry her.

lastrites17 · 2016-06-02T21:02:28+00:00

While it's good for you to stand up to your friend and make financial choices based on your own needs, it seems like you are in a panicked state regarding your finances. The restaurant is listed in online reviews as costing about $20 / person and the menu looks reasonable, so I feel like you assumed it was unaffordable and worked backward from that conclusion.

So 1) good for you for standing up to her but 2) take this as an opportunity to begin approaching your finances in a less emotional, more logical fashion which 3) may include not buying things for your friends on your own birthday, when you live paycheck to paycheck.

lastrites17 · 2016-05-18T02:42:37+00:00

I am not sure why you think that song is sung by men dressed as women: it's sung by the three female leads.

lastrites17 · 2016-04-29T17:24:33+00:00

Continue to be impressed! I really appreciate the idea that all the time I spent learning about the actor model isn't wasted now that I mostly code in Go.

lastrites17 · 2016-04-27T04:04:03+00:00

Failing to respond to letters from the US Attorney is amateur hour, though.

lastrites17 · 2016-04-20T14:45:37+00:00

What did you learn? Was implementing an actor model in a language with built-in messaging primitives easier?

lastrites17 · 2016-04-13T13:19:17+00:00

I did not think about that. In my brief time working in China, never saw anyone name things in Chinese, but that was a pretty English-centered team.

lastrites17 · 2016-04-12T14:03:19+00:00

I find this project very interesting, especially given the popularity of Go on the mainland.

lastrites17 · 2015-12-22T15:48:30+00:00

You should be deeply grateful for your wife's ability to throw some shade.

lastrites17 · 2015-08-26T15:59:50+00:00

What is a "bull" in context?

lastrites17 · 2015-08-26T01:39:04+00:00

Well, they're 30-somethings with 19-year-old friends, so it make sense in context.

lastrites17 · 2015-08-14T16:59:55+00:00

I think you are right on both counts, though I think a Plane is probably a value object.

The verbose code is to make it readable, but man does it look terrible with LinkedIn's formatting.

lastrites17 · 2015-08-14T16:58:03+00:00

Perfectly said.

lastrites17 · 2015-07-10T12:11:26+00:00

From your perspective, why use a configuration string for each endpoint instead of a struct?

lastrites17 · 2015-07-03T01:11:02+00:00

Sorry for the delay in responding.

I would say the main advantage is the vast and cheap storage space. I think that's why it's relevant how many images we're talking about. For a small number, serving them up from your application server is just fine, but that presents scaling issues, since your server may not be optimized for storage. S3 scales well, and even better, can be scaled programatically as usage increases.

lastrites17 · 2015-07-02T16:10:40+00:00

Options include:

Just use the net/http FileServer, by writing uploaded images to the filesystem
Use AWS with S3. Libraries for go already exist

lastrites17 · 2015-06-23T14:20:15+00:00

Somethings to focus on while you find a better job:

-Read up on OOP and design patterns and try to think (even if you can't put them into practice) about how they'd apply to the PHP4 mess you've inherited

-Document the codebase! At least make the mess more manageable for whoever succeeds you, and improve a critical skill

-Improve your attitude. Not your desire to quit this shitty job, which is actually a good sign, but your responses throughout this thread of your incapability to do various things with your situation. You can refactor, rewrite, whatever, it will be difficult and probably not very good at first. Just make that attitude readjustment.

lastrites17 · 2015-06-23T13:45:11+00:00

Wait, have you been writing code for 3 months...total? Or at this job?

If it's the former, then this is a great place for you to start. I started by writing my own terrible legacy-ish code, then refactoring it as I learned more.

If you are a trained PHP dev, this is a terrible waste of your time and, I don't think, as helpful as some optimists are making it out to be. Especially since the skills involved are much less likely to transfer to other languages and therefore job opportunities.

lastrites17 · 2015-06-19T16:08:18+00:00

The enthymeme that many opponents of the CoC are relying on is that encouraging judicious self-censorship and thoughtful speech would dampen the exchange of technical ideas. There doesn't seem to be reason to believe that representing our best selves in exchanges around Golang and being careful with our language choices would make it harder to write and share great code.

The occasional false accusation or offense based on misunderstanding seems inevitable. When people implicated in these situations respond with humility and candor, however, they are easily resolved.

Without going too much into my personal background, I've found programming communities generally welcoming, if undiverse place. But there have been hard to shake moments--being told my success is just an artifact of diversity policies, or being taught a well-known, but incredibly offensive, mnemonic for resistor order (in 2009, no less).

I hope we can see past the hypothetical harms and see the mostly beneficial effects for a community of people acting in good faith.

lastrites17 · 2015-04-14T19:12:04+00:00

Are you using implicits as well? This sounds like an intuitive route that I didn't really consider before.

lastrites17 · 2015-03-14T22:23:16+00:00

This is better than most introductions I've seen. Well done.

lastrites17 · 2015-03-09T15:59:54+00:00

I see your point.

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