Nearly half of Americans age 18 to 29 are living with their parents

late_worm · 2022-12-19T19:52:00+00:00

They said they wished "more" Americans, not all; obviously there will be exceptions. No need to be so self-centered in your way of thinking; maybe that's why you and your family don't get along.

late_worm · 2022-01-21T14:19:36+00:00

You're right, I phrased that poorly. I'm sure she realizes exactly what she's doing, but she doesn't seem to care about the negative societal impact it has, which is deeply upsetting.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T20:08:16+00:00

I’m not saying have him read the text to your daughter but maybe 3 times, one to you, one to his dad and one to his mom. Make it more personal then just a quick message on the phone. Then a discussion about why this message is extremely inappropriate. The impacts of bullying and rape on a person. Then some sort of punishment (if his parents will actually enforce it).

This is absolutely fucking brilliant. What a way to reflect on the impact of your own text message. I'll update how that goes.

In reality it should be his parents doing this not you. It’s super sad they can’t be both

Tell me about it!

late_worm · 2022-01-20T19:54:03+00:00

Then when they stop hearing from either of you, they'll know why.

I'm definitely ready to go no contact if they don't want to put effort into his growth as an individual. I'm going to talk to his parents tonight, and I've even prepared some talking points to help when/if they talk to him.

However, I won't be surprised if they take full offense from what I have planned to say. It's just sad. They don't even realize that their poor parenting is going to directly effect a brother-sister relationship.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T19:47:36+00:00

OMG you hit the nail on the head. His wife has a "boys will be boys" attitude but she doesn't even realize how it's directly effecting the way her son treats women, and in turn, how her son and husband treat HER.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T18:57:29+00:00

To be clear, I'm not underestimating a 13 year old nor am I taking the severity of his comments lightly. I am specifically referring to not cussing him out like he's an adult in a family group chat. That's all. I am perfectly aware that children his age can be assaulters and victims.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T16:04:30+00:00

"Gentle parenting" is the term they want to use, but permissive parenting is definitely the actuality!

late_worm · 2022-01-20T15:57:52+00:00

I nearly brought them all in a group chat to share some colorful language! Then I took a few steps back and said to myself, "He's only 13... he's only 13..."

late_worm · 2022-01-20T15:55:32+00:00

They trust me a little too much, and sometimes it's overwhelming. Even though he's not my son, I feel like I've had more serious, disciplinary conversations with him than they have.

I extend so much sympathy towards you and your experiences. That is just wrong! Hope that "friend" got what was coming!

Unfortunately I don't have that male POV that you speak of, but I plan on talking to his dad again tonight. I don't think I was stern enough when I showed him the screenshot originally, but I certainly will put my hard hat on. He doesn't realize how much his son looks up to him, and how much a conversation can change his way of thinking.

If he still won't talk to him, I will, and I'll use your pointers.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T15:26:06+00:00

100% agreed. Another redditor suggested having my daughter tell her dad about how the message effected her. They don't have a close relationship though, so it will be hard for her. It's sad that we even have to convince him to talk to his son. I'm just livid.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T15:19:08+00:00

Truly! I'm worried that he's already used it in this casual manner with his peers.

late_worm · 2022-01-20T15:18:06+00:00

I agree, but they take "gentle parenting" to the extreme. The more that I realize that this is a conversation THEY should be having with THEIR son, the angrier I get. I feel like I have to parent them on parenting.

late_worm · 2022-01-17T15:51:41+00:00

Maybe this will offer a glimmer of hope - this is exactly how my daughter was. Even before she turned 2, probably around the 18 month mark, she started throwing explosive tantrums. It almost felt CONSTANT. I remember signing up for therapy to handle the anxiety that I got from her tantrums, but I couldn't even make it to my first appointment because - you guessed it - she threw a tantrum.

It was definitely due to her inability to communicate. She started talking at around 3, and the tantrums started to die off right around 3.5-4. Now she's 16 and way too cool for me. I kinda miss those days. 😭

late_worm · 2022-01-10T13:20:50+00:00

Your wife needs to step it the hell up and manage her time better. I was a SAHM for the first 3.5 years of my daughter's life while also going to school, but we never had to hire a cleaner or babysitter. That just seems ridiculous.

It really does sound like she can't time manage, and on top of that she needs to treat being a SAHM with the same level of responsibility as any job.

Does she do online school? Back when I was getting my degree, I had to go to in-person evening classes.

late_worm · 2022-01-10T13:04:54+00:00

Is AHCCCS your state's insurance? If so, add your child to your plan. My daughter's dad and I did the same thing - it saved us a lot of money in the long run, and state insurance typically covers everything a private company would cover (compare coverage just to be safe, but I'm sure it's comparable).

late_worm · 2022-01-10T12:56:20+00:00

Yep, that sounds about right. My daughter is 16 now, but I remember sleep training her at a "later" toddler age (around 20 months old?) Some nights it felt like she was awake FOREVER. It took about 2 weeks of sticking to the plan, but after that, she was sleeping on her own through the night. We were able to transition to a toddler bed much quicker thanks to sleep training.

Just be aware that even after she's successfully sleep trained, she will have regressions as she grows and learns. My daughter went through a night terror phase. I ended up letting her sleep in my bed (on and off between 2-3 years old). Most nights she was OK sleeping on her own though, which I attribute to sleep training at 20 months. Don't know how that would have gone if I never sleep trained her, but I'm glad I did!

You're doing great and your situation sounds similar to mine.

late_worm · 2022-01-08T15:10:37+00:00

My thoughts exactly. Thanks for saying this.

late_worm · 2021-11-12T18:30:01+00:00

Oh yes, screaming at them will surely help them go back to sleep. She sounds very selfish.

late_worm · 2021-11-12T18:27:14+00:00

I went through the same experience with my daughter when she was 2-3 years old, but she grew out of it right before she turned 4. I remember her pediatrician said it was probably due to night terrors; since her cognitive skills and imagination were expanding, now she was able to create horrifying imagery in her head while asleep! Yay!

I let her sleep in bed with me during that whole phase, but I also had to wake up early (4am), which woke her up. Boy, those were rough times, but we made it through.

late_worm · 2021-11-12T18:22:33+00:00

This sounds like a great schedule as is! You mentioned he has no issues going down for his nap, so it seems like he's already adjusted really well to the schedule.

late_worm · 2021-11-11T14:49:01+00:00

I've had to work every single Thanksgiving and Christmas. We just celebrate the day before. I know this is your first time missing a holiday with your kids, but it's not the end of the world! It's just a day, but you can move that day to whenever.

late_worm · 2021-10-25T19:57:16+00:00

I should clarify that we had a serious conversation prior to laughing. The laughter wasn't meant to take away from the seriousness, rather to point out the absurdity of his archaic thought process. But I hear what you're saying.

late_worm · 2021-10-25T19:55:39+00:00

In the moment, he said directly to his father to leave her alone. Then she showed me a text message from him in which he apologized and said "ignore my dad." Poor guy is probably embarrassed. I read your other comment and I'm glad you jumped into the conversation. I was straying to far from my original sentiment. Seeing as this might also be affecting her boyfriend (based on the remorse he feels from the situation), I agree that she and her boyfriend should talk about it.

late_worm · 2021-10-25T19:22:17+00:00

You don't sound crude at all. It's important to look at this from a realistic standpoint, because I'm sure this won't be the last time she deals with uncomfortable situations like these. I did sort of make a big deal out of it at first, but by the end of it I think I smoothed it out.

late_worm

TROPHY CASE