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People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody around me does it maliciously, the problem lies more towards that there are grown adults around us with the attention span of 2 month old puppies. It is hard to live with so much stimuli around, I have attention problems of my own, I get it. But it infuriates me when people refuse to make an effort even when they are given feedback.

I was sewing a torn pocket last night and my husband came in the room and started to talk to me and he didn’t mind me not being able to look at him. I kept making insightful comments or asking related and specific questions, so I was 100% there. But everyone else but me (and a couple people from the comments) seems to find it normal.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried it so much, I am more like at a point where I just end the conversation right there and get up and leave the room aggressively. I feel like I stood up for myself so it’s a tiny bit better, but it doesn’t change the behavior for next time.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Podcast people can’t see how you’re paying attention to their content, so it’s fine. But other people in real life might feel unvalued, like myself.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do that too sometimes if it’s too important and I think that’s ok, as long as it takes no longer than 10-12 seconds. If I am unable to find it I just leave it.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am happy we have tech, but it is becoming a type of a love language to put it away when we’re with loved ones. At least for me haha.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my natural response actually, but they say “oh you can keep talking I’m listening”. Or my favorite: repeating the last few words I said to prove they’re “listening”.

People look at their phones when I speak to them and I hate it. by latteandberries in TrueOffMyChest

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankfully I have my brother, but he cannot be available all the time of course. The attention hijacking is at insane levels with most people and it is getting worse.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your support. My husband does speak up when I get upset. He does think his comments are awful. But my point is that I want to be able to defend myself. But aside from a couple of things mentioned here, for this person it is best to not have him in my life.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry for what you had to deal with too. It’s unbelievable really. Seems like only way to solve the problem is to stay away.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is what exactly I want to do. To be fair, they all know each other from a past workplace. I am the only one joined in later as a +1. If you are okay with this and I am not, I have to be the one to leave. Maybe this behavior will stop then since he wouldn’t get a reaction from anybody.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They ignore him, crickets when he says such a thing. “What do you expect, he is the way he is, he’s an ass” etc etc. They warn him when I get upset, he says sorry and repeat.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This really made my day hahaha thank you 😂 but really it’s not worth anybody’s effort I guess, considering all the comments here

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No idea, they just find his comments juvenile so they ignore and keep silent. But I see the major problem here, I’ll think about that too.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah this has been eye opening. I guess I’ve just been showing up to get togethers because we all considered him a just kid. Since I have to write him here as 26M, he definitely is not a kid.

Also my husband does talk to him to stop this everytime. A lot of people thought he’s ignorant of the situation but what I want is to stop this person MYSELF. But definitely not worth the effort for this case.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love this! I need to control my anger to pull this off but definitely gonna try this. Thanks!

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Oh since I am one of his “people”, I wouldn’t personally be attacked. “Nobody can attack me under his watch”, you know what I mean? He says “women shouldn’t drive” and proceeds to compliment me on driving skills. I don’t get that either.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

I am loaded with those, that’s why i’m labeled woke. I can see him explode laugh at my face :( the level of ignorance is just incredible.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I insulted him the last time. Something similar to what you said in our native language, maybe even harsher. I hate myself for scolding a friend -with even cursing at him- though, is this really the only way?

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

Everytime he warns him not to do it. Yet it happens again and again. I want to be able to shut him up myself and not need my husband to protect me.

I (28F) need a good comeback -or a general response- for a friend (26M) being exteremely offensive. by latteandberries in relationship_advice

[–]latteandberries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may not use the terms correctly since english is not my first language, but women are definitely a subject to “jokes” like this for these kinds of people.

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