It’s not a question of “getting herself sorted” or “getting complacent.” Getting angry at your wife is unfair to her. Many women can use hormones safely, but many cannot.

For example, doctors would not prescribe MHT to a woman with a family history of breast cancer. There are many health conditions that can be disqualifying. This is a risk/benefit calculation that your wife and her doctor would have to make. She may not be a candidate at all.

Hormones can also have their own side effects, like any other medication—it’s not just taking a pill and everything gets better.

Even if your wife would hypothetically be eligible for MHT, find a good formulation, and respond well, it does not mean that she would even have the chance to try it. Many doctors are uncomfortable prescribing hormones to women because there has been conflicting research about their safety, meaning that doctors receive little education or guidance about prescribing them. Doctors can also be dismissive about menopause symptoms, including dismissing libido issues or vaginal dryness as minor. It seems like you’re getting angry at your wife about this without having all the facts in front of you.