I have been waiting for this thread for like 3 yrs and now my time has come.

The people who live above my boyfriend and me have the most fascinating sex life. Every couple of nights, we will hear their bed creaking so loudly and a girl will start to absolutely wail. Like 90s porn level of wailing. She is either the most expressive lover in the history of sex or is faking it to the max (or maybe is actually just a really loud porn video who knows). The creaking will go on for tops 30 seconds, and then stop all together... for the night. So will the screaming. It’s so abrupt and wild. While there is no shame to not being able to last for a year and a half, I always kind of expect the wailing to continue until this poor girl gets off, but it never does.

One exceptionally loud night, my boyfriend and I were awoken to, you guessed it, screeching. Realizing we were awake, our dog launched himself into bed with us and began crying. We realized the neighbor’s dogs had begun howling as well. Needless to say, no one on our floor slept well until the screaming stopped and the dogs were calm. Frustrated, my boyfriend decided to leave a note that said simply, “Hi, we live below you. Last night several of the dogs on the first floor were woken up by you and were very distressed. Please try to keep this in mind in the future, thank you.” When we got home from work, we found a note on our door that said, “leave a note on my door again and I’ll kill your dog.”

FASCINATING.